11 signs that a person is ready for a relationship

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

There are countless articles written about alarm bells to watch out for on a date to avoid negative experiences in the future. But this is unlikely to help find the right person. The author of the Pervocracy blog under the nickname Cliff advises paying attention to the "green flags" - indicators that indicate that a person is ready for a serious relationship and you will be comfortable with him.

A couple of years ago I went on a date with a guy. I jokingly disagreed with him on some stupid reason (now I don’t even remember what it was about), and he hit me. Honestly, hit the arm. Strong enough to hurt, but not enough to bruise. We didn't date, we didn't have any romantic relationship, it was just a second date. I screamed, and he started laughing and said that it was just a joke, and I take everything so seriously, because I am a nervous feminist, but he is ready to forgive me for it. I also laughed and went on with him.

This guy called me on a third date, but I didn't call back. I was inclined to believe that it was actually "just a joke", childish fuss, and did not want to be offended. But then I was thinking in terms of the "red flags". Physical hitting on a date is one of the reddest you can get. And even if I could convince myself that the blow itself could be a stupid joke, I could not get rid of the feeling that this is an alarm bell and a sign of something unpleasant in the future. I think this intuitive feeling kept me from making a huge mistake.

But the absence of wake-up calls on a date doesn't really tell you much about the person. “I met such a wonderful guy! He did not press on me physically or emotionally. This is good luck!"

So let's talk about green flags - signals that indicate that a person is ready for a relationship, has a healthy outlook on the world and has the potential to become a caring and responsible life partner. It's not about compatibility. He may be a wonderful person, but he likes Star Trek, and you like Star Wars, and for both of them this is a moment of principle. However, for another person, he or she can be a wonderful couple.

By the behavior of people in problem situations, one can understand whether they are ripe for a serious relationship. Here are some of these "green flags" (can you suggest your own options in the comments?):

1. The person talks about what he thinks and feels, and gives you the opportunity to speak.
2. He introduces you to his friends or wants to introduce you to his company.
3. A guy or a girl has a varied life that isn't just about relationships. A person finds time for work, hobbies, family, friends. He has something that makes his eyes start to burn, and it's not just you.
4. Your partner likes things about you that set you apart from others, not just those that are traditionally considered attractive.
5. He asks for advice or your opinion as often as he advises.
6. The partner is ready to do unpleasant, uninteresting things for you: go to the hospital or meet you at the airport during rush hour.
7. When it comes to past failed relationships, the person admits their guilt, not just blames the ex.
8. Always asks for your opinion on a decision that might affect you, whether it be theater seats or vacation plans.
9. Respects your decisions and emotions, even if you cannot explain the reasons.
10. You are not afraid of an inadequate reaction if you disagree with your partner or point out his mistakes.
11. The person sets their own boundaries in the relationship with you, but they do it in a respectful manner, explaining the reasons.

Your green flags may differ from those listed. In addition, some of them may be noticed in bad partners, and some may be absent in good ones. Everything is very individual. But if you want a new person to become a part of your life, think not only about what negative qualities he lacks. Think about what good traits are important to you and if he has them.