10 facts for parents to help raise happy kids

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

When it comes to parenting, nothing replaces personal experience. But you can learn from other people's examples and mistakes. If you want to be understanding and loving parents, check out the research on children and parenting.

1. Having children makes a person happier

In popular culture, the image of joyless parents often appears, for whom the problems of upbringing overshadow the pleasure of having children.

But the research results S. K. Nelson, K. Kushlev, T. English, E. W. Dunn, S. Lyubomirsky. In Defense of Parenthood: Children Are Associated With More Joy Than Misery. The University of California at Riverside (USA) show that, on average, mothers and especially fathers feel happier than childless people. In fact, parents get more positive emotions from caring for children than from many other activities.

2. The happiest are altruistic parents

According to scientists, the willingness to put the interests of the child above their own pays off at the level of emotions. According to the Free University of Amsterdam (Netherlands) Claire E. Ashton-James, Kostadin Kushlev, Elizabeth W. Dunn. Parents Reap What They Sow Child-Centrism and Parental Well-Being., altruistic parents find more meaning in life, and therefore are happier. Caring for children increases self-worth and dulls negative emotions.

The more efforts parents put into the well-being of their children - which, in fact, makes them altruists - the more happiness they get from parenting, the better they feel their own importance.

So what's good for your kids is good for you too.

3. Excessive custody causes depression in children

Despite the importance of parental care, it should not be abused. Especially when children grow up.

Study authors Holly H. Schiffrin, Miriam Liss, Haley Miles-McLean, Katherine A. Geary, Mindy J. Erchull, Taryn Tashner. Helping or Hovering? The Effects of Helicopter Parenting on College Students' Well-Being., published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies, surveyed 297 senior students about their parents' behavior and reactions to it. As a result, scientists have linked overprotectiveness with a high propensity for depression among students, as well as with an underestimated level of their independence and ability to adapt to life.

Parents need to understand how appropriate their intervention is at a particular stage of child development. They should change their approach if children feel overwhelmed.

4. Tough discipline traumatizes the psyche of the child

According to statistics, in 90% of families, parents at least once raised their voice to the child. Rather than reasoning with him, this method can exacerbate the problem.

According to a study published in Child Development Magazine Ming-Te Wang, Sarah Kenny. Longitudinal Links Between Fathers' and Mothers' Harsh Verbal Discipline and Adolescents' Conduct Problems and Depressive Symptoms., the authors of which followed 967 families with 13-year-old children, strict verbal discipline worsened the behavior of adolescents and led to the development of depression. This situation was observed even if, in general, the parents were in close relationships with the children.

It is a mistake to believe that a close bond with a child removes the consequences of strict discipline (as if he understands that he is being scolded for loving). In fact, parental love does not mitigate the effect of verbal punishment, and it is harmful under any circumstances.

5. Regular sleep plays an important role in the formation of a child's brain

To study the effect of sleep on the cognitive functions of the brain, scientists from University College London (England) observed 11,000 children over the course of five years, whose age at the beginning of the study was Yvonne Kelly, John Kelly, Amanda Sacker. Time for Bed: Associations With Cognitive Performance in 7-year-old Children: A Longitudinal Population-based Study. was three years. Experts concluded that there is a link between irregular sleep at three years of age and a decrease in reading, math and spatial reasoning abilities in children of both sexes. Presumably, at this age, an important stage of cognitive development begins.

Regular sleep patterns are essential for child development. The sooner the child begins to comply with it, the better for mental performance.

6. Doing housework together creates a healthy family atmosphere

Study authors Adam M. Galovan, Erin Kramer Holmes, David G. Schramm, Thomas R. Lee. Father Involvement, Father – Child Relationship Quality, and Satisfaction With Family Work. Actor and Partner Influences on Marital Quality., published in the Journal of Family Issues, found that sharing household responsibilities evenly increases family members' satisfaction with their relationships. Moreover, a positive perception grows if family members are doing housework at the same time. This creates a comfortable environment for the child's psyche.

7. Abuse of TV reduces the mental capacity of the child

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends limiting television viewing to two hours a day for children between the ages of two and five, and keeping them away from the screen at an earlier age.

Study of the University of Montreal (Canada) Linda S. Pagani, Caroline Fitzpatrick, Tracie A. Barnett. Early Childhood Television Viewing and Kindergarten Entry Readiness. in which 2,000 children participated, showed that TV-abusing children had less vocabulary and less developed math and motor skills by the age of five.

8. Exercise Boosts Children's Academic Performance

Exercise is a great way to improve brain performance. Among other scientific works, this is confirmed by the study of the University of Dundee (Scotland) J. N. Booth, S. D. Leary, C. Joinson, A. R. Ness, P. D. Tomporowski, J. M. Boyle, J. J. Reilly. Associations Between Objectively Measured Physical Activity and Academic Attainment in Adolescents from a UK Cohort. … By observing 11-year-old children, scientists have discovered a positive effect of exercise on academic performance in math, English, and other school subjects. Interestingly, this effect was stronger in girls.

9. Excessive child care harms the mother's psyche

For some women, parenting is more stressful than work. But how does this compare with the findings of scientists that children make us happier? It's all about the attitude towards motherhood. If a woman abuses custody, she can harm herself.

Research published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies Kathryn M. Rizzo, Holly H. Schiffrin, Miriam Liss. Insight into the Parenthood Paradox: Mental Health Outcomes of Intensive Mothering., contains the results of observations of 181 mothers with children under five years of age. Women who are fanatic about children and consider themselves more important parents than fathers are more likely to suffer from depression and are less satisfied with their lives.

Love your children, but do it right.

10. Having common parents does not make children similar personalities

Parents with many children may notice a curious feature: their children often have very different characters. According to research published in the journal Behavioral and Brain Sciences Robert Plomin, Denise Daniels. Why Are Children In The Same Family So Different From One Another., the personalities of siblings and / or sisters do not have more in common than absolutely strangers to each other.

This conclusion may look strange, considering that a significant part of the genetic code in children from common parents is identical. But the formation of personality is more influenced by the environment. So, brothers and sisters have different relationships with loved ones, friends, classmates, and so on. These differences determine the character of children.

Consequently, parenting methods that work great for one child in a family may not work at all for another. Therefore, it is very important to look for an individual approach.