10 hidden signs of psychological abuse that are usually overlooked

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Attempts to control often hide behind false expressions of concern and concern.

1. Pathological jealousy

Some believe that there is no love without jealousy. Therefore, the desire to constantly know where the partner is and with whom is the best confirmation of sincere feelings. And if someone is tormented by constant suspicions, then he is lucky and simply does not understand how lucky he is.

In fact, jealousy is a much more complex feeling, which, however, does not exclude love. Sometimes he is fueled by the second partner's questionable behavior and lack of attention on his part. The logic here is simple: if I do not receive attention, then it is given to someone else.

But jealousy also disguises the desire to completely control the life of another person. Just forbidding him to leave the house and making him report on every step will not work: it sounds very stupid. But if everything is presented under the sauce of anxiety and fear that the partner may be taken away, then total control begins to be perceived as something harmless and even desirable.

As a result, the victim of a jealous partner will either jump out of this relationship in time, or stop going somewhere and communicate with someone. And social isolation is no longer a hidden sign of psychological abuse.

2. Requiring access to correspondence

Passwords from all social networks may be required from you as proof of love and serious intentions. Indeed, in a relationship, the main thing is trust, you should not have secrets from each other. At the same time, the partner can be the first to show you their accounts in order to demonstrate that he himself is ready for full transparency.

As cute as it looks, it's worth the effort. At least because people in relationships are still independent units with their own circle of friends. And the correspondence hides not only their data, but also the secrets of the interlocutors and corporate information.

In general, the need to read other people's messages does not stand up to any logic. Why do this? To find out in time about the betrayal of your partner? It is unlikely that he will start tricks in correspondence, knowing that it is being read. There is no point in continuing a relationship with someone you don't trust.

3. Issuing ultimatums

Usually when you are faced with a choice, it turns out to be uncontested. On one side of the balance lies “I and our relationship,” on the other - something also important, otherwise the problem simply would not exist. But such issues are resolved by negotiation and discussion of how to make friends with each other's interests. And an ultimatum is just an attempt to squeeze out of your life everything that your partner does not like.

4. Uncontrollable passion

Your partner often gets carried away and hurts you or ignores requests not to do something. As a result, everything can end with sucks in prominent places, torn out hair, scratched back.

The beautiful version, most likely, will sound like this: "You excite me very much, I just can't control myself." But it would be more correct to replace “I can’t” with “I don’t want to”. Alas, if over and over again your requests and desires are ignored, you are not perceived as a full-fledged participant in sex, but as an object for satisfying needs. Later, objectification can go beyond the bed.

5. Neglect

You got sick and asked your partner to buy the medicine, but he forgot, and your recovery will now be delayed. You were going to a concert and bought tickets in advance, but did not get there, because he was very late for no good reason. Your parents said that their dog, with whom you spent all your childhood, died. But you are required to "wipe the snot" and do not allow you to survive this grief. Neglecting your health, emotions, desires is also violence.

6. Spiteful jokes

Your partner constantly makes fun of you, including in public. For logical indignation, he reproaches you for the lack of a sense of humor and continues to bombard you with barbs.

By themselves, unsuccessful remarks do not mean anything. Anyone can make a mistake and blurt out nonsense. It is much more eloquent ignoring the fact that you do not like these statements. Even if you don't really have a sense of humor, there should be enough discontent to stop the evil jokes. You have a relationship here, not a stand-up festival, and comfort in them is much more important. Alas, systematic humiliation, wrapped in a shell of jokes, is outright mockery.

7. Blackening of acquaintances

In case of any disagreement with someone, the partner not only takes your side, but also actively begins to throw mud at your friends, colleagues, and parents. All of them, it turns out, are full of flaws that you did not notice before, and are simply unworthy to communicate with you. You don't seem to be forbidden to meet directly, but sooner or later you will think about whether it is worth keeping in touch with such disgusting people, even upsetting your soul mate. They only wish you well. But this is again a path to social isolation. As soon as you have no one to turn to for help, the emotional rapist will unfold to the fullest.

8. Compliments by comparison

You seem to be showered with compliments, but you are always smart, beautiful, funny and wonderful only in comparison with someone. It seems nothing criminal, but you should be on your guard. If only because you are valuable not by yourself, but in some incomprehensible rating. There is a great risk that you will soon give way to someone on the podium and will be forced to fight for leadership. Although this is initially a losing and meaningless competition.

9. Overuse of surprises

A sudden change in plans can definitely bring variety to your life. But only not when it becomes an element of control. For example, you are tired and refuse to go to a party. Planning to spend time playing a computer game, but - surprise - your partner brings the party to you. We wanted to go to the museum on a weekend to catch the closing exhibition, but they give you cinema tickets. At the same time, your desires and needs are clearly not a priority.

10. Control of appearance

If a person is critical of your clothes or hairstyle and demands to change everything the way they like, this is not a hidden sign of psychological abuse, but an alarming siren. However, it is often underestimated, attributing the desire to control someone else's appearance to caring.

A partner can express his preferences regarding your appearance, but his voice in this matter is advisory, not decisive. And the opinion should be presented in a delicate, non-derogatory manner. If someone begins to change your wardrobe without asking for help, and even more so to spoil and throw things away, this is a reason to be wary.