How to deal with outbursts of anger

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Five effective ways to confront someone else's anger.

The feeling of anger is familiar to all of us. We encounter him almost every day. At work, in transport, at home. It is believed that anger is the body's normal response to external stimuli. At the same time, it is generally accepted that this normal reaction can and should be combated.

But often we become victims, not culprits. Nobody asks if we are ready to act as lightning rods. Those who let off steam quickly bounce back. For us, resentment and bad mood remain for a long time. How to deal with this? To find the answer, let's turn to theory.

What is anger

Psychologists consider anger to be a normal emotion.

Anger is the body's reaction to resentment, hurt pride and mental suffering. The person gets angry and screams, trying to protect himself.

According to other experts, anger is not just an emotion, but a form of affect. This emotional process is intense and short-lived. For a few minutes, not only the mental, but also the physiological state of a person radically changes: muscles contract, blood rushes, breathing becomes difficult.

In anger, the body works to wear and tear. And having thrown out negative energy, it gradually calms down. That is why we feel exhausted after a major quarrel with screaming and breaking dishes.

At the same time, scientists believe that, like the instinct of self-preservation, the feeling of anger is inherent in all Homo sapiens and is inherited. After all, outbursts of aggression happen even in children.

The form and depth of its expression depend on the characteristics of socialization. If it is customary in the family to talk in a raised voice and watch the Saw dinner at dinner, the child is more likely to become an impulsive person, igniting from any spark.

Anger is also generated by dedication to one's own views on what is right and what is not. So, a pedantic person is enraged by sloppiness, an introvert - talkativeness. Anything that does not fit into the value system is annoying, encroaches on it.

What conclusion can be drawn by summarizing these provisions?

Everyone experiences anger, regardless of gender, age, or race. An angry person often does not control his words and actions.

How to protect yourself

Anger is destructive. He destroys us from the inside. Those prone to aggression often have heart disease, hypertension, migraines, skin and gastrointestinal problems.

Even more dangerous is the so-called incoming anger - negative energy directed at us. What do you feel when a colleague, spouse, neighbor breaks down at you? Resentment, resentment, fear are common reactions. But often one outburst of anger gives rise to another, response. It's hard to stay calm when someone is yelling at you.

In order not to be locked in a circle of negative reactions, you need to equally resist not only your own outbursts of anger, but also those that come from other people.

How to resist someone else's malice

1. Breathe

Changing breathing is the main recommendation for self-control. Once in the field of view of an angry person and feel that his excitement is transmitted to you, begin to breathe slowly and deeply.

Try to take only 6-10 breaths per minute. Necessarily through the nose. Deliberate delays allow you to bring the pulse and pressure back to normal, to calm down.

2. Get distracted

From childhood we were taught: not to listen to the interlocutor is impolite. Nobody added that this rule does not apply to angry people.

If you begin to delve into the message of an angry person, there is a danger of getting involved in fruitless controversy. In order not to listen, remember some children's song or rhyme. "Our Tanya is crying out loud …" - everyone knows these lines, but it is not so easy to reproduce them in your head in a critical situation. And this is good.

Remembering good tunes familiar from childhood, you will involuntarily be distracted from the angry speeches of your opponent and ignore his barbs.

3. Be ironic

Bulging eyes, twitching movements, saliva splashing in different directions. A person in a fit of anger looks rather comical. If you manage to distract yourself from his words, you will certainly notice it. And if you imagine him in Budyonovka and with a saber bald, you get a frankly funny picture.

But do not make fun of a person who is in extreme emotional arousal. Better to remember that an angry fist does not hit a smiling face. Smile kindly. And, perhaps, the rage will be replaced by mercy.

4. Step back

If possible, do not fall under the hot hand. Go to another room, take a walk, do something. Let the person let off steam.

But if there is really no chance of self-elimination, then do it in your head. Imagine that there is a brick wall between you and the one yelling at you. Compose the details: white or red brick, is the masonry even, are the seams neat? This will help build psychological defenses.

5. Goodbye

Perhaps this is the main recommendation. In anger, a person is not aware of what he is doing (remember: this is a form of affect). And when the rage has passed, he feels a sense of guilt. Sometimes he doesn't even know how to look at you.

Be the first to speak. Make it clear that you are not angry. So it will be easier for the one who has broken down to sincerely repent and resume a constructive dialogue.

Follow these simple tips and remember the ancient Indian wisdom: whoever does not respond with anger to anger saves both - himself and the angry one.