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2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44
It is difficult to be in a relationship with someone who has a mental disorder. After all, the condition of your relative, friend or partner largely depends on what and how you do it.
Mental health, as defined by the American Psychiatric Association, is a state of mind in which a person effectively solves daily tasks, is able to build healthy relationships, adapts to change and copes with stress.
The opposite state suggests that, most likely, the person has a mental disorder. Usually it manifests itself as a change in thinking, a distortion of the perception of oneself and reality. Behavioral problems appear, there is no sense of well-being.
The Mental Health Foundation estimates that 1 in 6 people worldwide experience a mental disorder every week. The World Health Organization says that more than 300 million people worldwide suffer from depression, 60 from bipolar disorder, 21 from schizophrenia.
The scale of the problem is not hard to imagine. It's harder to draw parallels with your own life, in which a loved one may be struggling with bipolar, depressive, anxiety, borderline, or other disorder. It is important to remember how to behave correctly in order to become a reliable support.
What not to do
Devalue
Many have already faced ignorance and non-recognition of emotional reactions in childhood. Do not continue to discount unique experiences and experiences. And understanding that someone is worse off is a dubious way to feel better.
What you can't say:
- I've had bad days too.
- At least you have a job.
- You just screw yourself up.
To give advice
Unsolicited advice is not liked by anyone, and a person with a mental disorder is doubly popular. Even competent psychotherapists do not give direct advice, and elementary actions such as distraction, entertainment, and forgetting do not work. Only systematic therapy, which takes a lot of time and effort, helps.
If you are sure that the advice is really valuable, first check if the other person is ready to listen to it.
What you can't say:
- You need a change of scenery.
- Go to yoga / bar / beauty salon.
- Pull yourself together!
To scold
People with mental health problems already scold themselves all the time, so don't exacerbate your guilt. Positive reinforcement works much more efficiently. Praise the little things sincerely. Sometimes a trifle like going outside can be a huge achievement.
What you can't say:
- You live wrong!
- I'm sorry for you!
- You are wasting time, nothing changes!
Wait for the initiative
Don't wait for a loved one to ask for help. He may not do this, because he is afraid to impose himself, he constantly waits for refusal, tries to cope on his own, does not feel the strength to pick up the phone. Call or write yourself. Most likely, this is very much expected.
To leave
When a loved one has trusted you and is waiting for support, evaluate your strength. If there are enough of them and you have made the decision to be there, do not give up halfway. Do not be afraid to say that it is difficult for you and you need to be alone. People with mental disorders tend to be empathic and understandable. Better to take a breather to recover than to merge. Losing support is painful.
What do we have to do
Explore the topic
Speak the same language. Study the literature, gently question. This way you will begin to understand the motives for actions, the behavior will cease to seem so strange, and you will not say offensive phrases "Do not justify yourself with the diagnosis" or "This is just autumn sadness, not depression." Possession of common knowledge brings people closer together.
Participate
Sometimes a person himself may not know how he can be helped, especially in a crisis situation. So offer specific help, such as going to the movies or telling a funny story.
You can work together to make a list of activities and activities that will ease the condition. You can use it if your loved one is very bad and is not up to talking.
Help find a specialist
Support is a powerful force, but the help of a specialist should not be neglected. The psychotherapist is also a doctor. It is to him that you should turn to in case of mental disorders. If a loved one does not know how to find a specialist, or is afraid - help. Call the clinic, read the reviews on the Web, tell us how the classes are going.
Cheer
Speak a lot of kind words. Self-criticism can destroy even the most obvious victories. The more you focus on good things and praise for success, the stronger your belief in yourself and the desire to work on yourself.
Take care of yourself
It has no direct relation to helping a loved one with a mental disorder. But for healthy support, strength and energy are needed, and immersion in someone else's pain can be a trigger for the appearance of your own. Therefore, take care of yourself, watch your condition and do not be afraid to ask for help.
If your loved one has a mental disorder, know that your support is of great value. Fighting not alone means winning at least twice as fast.
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