Why you shouldn't compare yourself to someone other than yourself

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Maybe you will stop seeing someone's silhouette in the mirror, which looms and obscures your eyes in constant comparison? Take a closer look at your reflection. I'm 99% sure that comparing yourself to yourself, you will find many changes for the better that you can rightfully be proud of, without all this career-material tinsel and big words.

We live in a culture of comparison

“The neighbors have a dog and a car, but I don't even have a dog. I bought a car, but it's not cool enough compared to my colleague's car. I bought a pretty cool car, but I don't have enough money for a fancy stereo. I’m 30 soon, but my mother would like me to earn three times more than her friend’s son, because it’s embarrassing that people will say about you - gouge.”

Sound familiar? Well, at least in part.

We constantly strive to compare the quality of our life with someone else

A woman's wardrobe is compared to her friends and rivals. The men compare their cars to "a wheelbarrow that the boss recently bought." Startups compare their project with competitors. The journalist compares his provincial publication to the newspaper of a nationwide oligarch. Even the children cry because they were not bought the same toy that the neighbor's Vovka already has, or a doll like the neighbor's Masha.

Children, by the way, are forgivable for comparison: they get to know the world around them by comparing themselves with it. But what happened to you that you cannot stop playing comparisons and competition with someone else, even when you have long gone out of childhood ?!

Take a look in the mirror. Remember who you were and what you were able to do 10 years ago. 5 years ago. Just a year ago. What has changed for the worse in you? And for the best? True, there were more good than gray and hard days?

Why compare yourself with someone else if you live your own life, not someone else's.

You don't know if the grass is definitely greener on the other side (and at what cost this apparent comparative success comes from). But on the other hand, you can definitely assess what you were able to change in yourself. It doesn't matter what it is: quitting smoking, being able to embroider, trying to run a marathon, or just being able to deliver on a promise that you wouldn't have done a couple of years ago. You have grown (in the sense, not in age, but in skills, in willpower, in composure, in the ability to set goals and achieve them).

Praise yourself for this growth. Do not forget to compare yourself with the present in the past. Think about what you are still not doing the way you would like for yourself. Act in this vein to change what is happening in your favor.

Be grateful to yourself that you have changed

Be as grateful to yourself for negative experiences as you do for positive ones. He, this experience, taught you that you yourself are the source of both your victories and your defeats.

What does comparing yourself with someone else, who is more successful, healthier, richer, bolder or more cynical than you, give? A feeling of disappointment, depression, irritation or condescending complacency, they say, but I am better than them, these bad people - are you sure that this feeling is missing in your life ?! Neither stress, negativity, nor self-praise makes you better or contributes in any way to achieving your big or small goals.

Comparing yourself with yourself, but 2-3-4-5-10 years ago, you will see that much has changed for the better in you.… That you got rid of illusions and learned to set realistic goals. That you are not naive and enthusiastic, but simply ready for certain actions and words. That you even did something. And your pair of small victories is much cooler for yourself than the one huge success that could be if you became the same as someone with whom you are used to comparing yourself.

Comparing yourself to yourself, you will find many changes for the better that you can rightfully be proud of.

The source of inspiration and motivation through comparison and your own spiritual, physical, material, moral and emotional growth lies in yourself. Neither religion, nor money, nor politics, nor power, nor titles-positions-badges on the lapel of your jacket, given by someone else in your hands, will not make you better, cleaner, or closer to the person you would like to be. This can only be done by yourself.