Why melancholy is useful and why you shouldn't fight it

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

The desire to sit at home, be sad to the appropriate music and watch black and white films is quite normal.

Melancholy usually has no cause. It arises by itself, appears as a fog. It is suggested to deal with it with the help of "simple steps to happiness", guides "to combat anguish" and so on. A very interesting perspective on melancholy was offered by the American writer Laren Stover.

In her article for, she tells how she felt strange all her life because of the unreasonable melancholy that came at times. Only over time, the girl learned not only to live with her melancholy, but also to enjoy and benefit from such a mood.

In a sense, it is wonderful to fall into the gloomy embrace of melancholy. Watch a black and white film or listen to the sound of the wind, which Truman Capote would call a "meadow harp."

Laren Stover

Continuing her thought, the writer invites us to live together with melancholy, and not throw all our strength into fighting it. The state of longing and sadness can be very fruitful for each of us. By learning to live with your melancholy, you will let the emotions boiling inside come out. Crying a little or complaining about a bad mood is normal, and even more: after such a "session" of melancholy, you will feel much better.

How can you learn to get the most out of your melancholy? Laren Stover says that she goes through all the stages of longing and sadness, allows her emotions to overwhelm her and go outside.

Do not admit to yourself that you are sad if you do not want to get out of this state.

Maximize your melancholy. Let the feelings build up and let the emotions out. I want to cry - cry, I want to whine and complain about life - go ahead! Behave like the hero of a cheap melodrama, if your soul asks for it.

Why is it good? You will not suppress your own emotions, which is more useful than keeping everything to yourself. In addition, relatively soon you will get bored of smearing tears on your cheeks and you will quickly come to a normal state.

An interesting fact: if you try to go outside and go to your friends, explain that you are overwhelmed by unreasonable sadness and longing, then nine out of ten comrades will try to say something like: "Come on, everything is fine!" It is difficult to argue with them: you are really all right. Therefore, such words from loved ones and relatives, oddly enough, cause only rejection and a desire to hide behind the door of the apartment again.

The same thing happens when you read materials like "The Effective Steps to Happiness". These tips are likely to be real and effective. But when you are in melancholy, it seems that everything is better than you, and the world lives according to some other laws that you do not know.

Does all of the above mean that we have stopped appreciating melancholy because we are constantly trying to fight it? Probably yes.

Trying to get rid of boredom as quickly as possible is like using a cheat in a video game. If you don't feel the whole drama, how do you know what such sadness and longing is worth?

Melancholy, as we have said, has no cause. Because of this key feature, it is inherently very similar to the common cold.

Vaccination and antibiotic will not work: you just need to survive. Therefore, instead of hiding feelings deep in your soul, getting irritated in response to the advice of friends and straining to smile at your colleagues, greet Her Majesty Melancholy. This state is absolutely natural. If you were not sad occasionally, then the moments of happiness would not be so sweet. Like sunset and sunrise, like ebb and flow, melancholy comes and goes.

Feeling like you're feeling bored again? Make yourself a suitable evening. Joy Division music or Oscar Wilde's book would be perfect. Soon you will be back on top because you will honestly get over your sadness.