How to stop avoiding difficulties

You are reading this article right now and most likely avoiding something that you do not want to think about.
We constantly check social media alerts, news and emails so we don't do anything difficult or unpleasant.
We don’t pay taxes for a long time, we don’t reply to long messages, we postpone cleaning because we don’t want to do it.

Thousands of such examples can be cited when our brain, imperceptibly for us, switches to something else, so as not to think about the unpleasant. Check it out for yourself: stop for a minute and try to figure out what thoughts you are currently avoiding. You will either notice a problem, or your brain will quickly switch to another subject.

This exercise is part of Leo Babauta's acceptance method. But first, let's figure out why, when we avoid a problem, we only harm ourselves.

Understand that avoiding difficulties is useless

We always subconsciously want to escape from discomfort, pain and difficulties. And our brain has learned to do this, because this is how we forget about problems. But at the same time, we have to run away from difficulties all our lives and be distracted, just so as not to deal with difficulties.

This means that we let fear and anxiety rule us. We are like a small child who does not want to work, but only wants to get a new toy.

As a result, we do not do important things or put them off until the very last moment, and then work in a state of stress. The same fate befell sports, proper nutrition, finances, relationships, and other aspects of our lives.

In the end, we still have to deal with these problems, but by that time they usually grow to universal proportions.

Accept the difficulties

According to the acceptance method developed by Leo Babauta, it is better to be fully aware of the problems you have, not to avoid them, but to solve them. Once you start doing this, you will understand that these problems are not so terrible.

1. First ask yourself, "What am I doing now?"Set a few reminders throughout the day, or leave yourself notes so you don't forget what you're doing.

Answers can be completely unremarkable, for example: “I'm on Facebook,” “Opening a new tab in my browser,” or “Em.” The main thing is to accustom yourself to awareness.

2. Then ask yourself the following question: "What am I avoiding?"When faced with something difficult or unpleasant, we automatically switch to something else. We avoid these thoughts or deeds without noticing it ourselves.

Therefore, try to understand what you are avoiding: it could be fear, some difficult task, an unpleasant emotion, discomfort, or just being in the present moment. Know what you are avoiding.

3. Accept this feeling, whatever it may be. Think not about your attitude towards him, but about the physical sensation itself. Most likely, you will notice that it is not that scary. Try to be with this sensation for a while.

4. Take action. When you accept your problem and understand that it is not as scary as you first thought, you can act like an adult, not like a child: you will decide how to cope with this problem.

For example, if you are afraid of something, remind yourself that it will benefit you and those around you, that it is much more important than that fear. If you are angry with someone and avoid a tough conversation because of it, try to understand that anger and resentment are just emotions. So it will be easier for you to calmly discuss your problems with the person and find some kind of solution.

Of course, this technique will not save you all the problems. But it will help you deal with the discomfort, not avoid it, as most do. You will procrastinate less and learn to live in the moment. Naturally, this will not happen overnight. It will take you a while for this to become a habit.