How to please everyone and everyone? No way

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Chameleon. Conformist. Compromiser. I've always tried to please people. But recently an event happened that changed me.

Chameleon. Conformist. Compromiser.

I've always tried to please people.

My friend even once called me the most conflict-free person in the world. And I was. I retreated at the slightest sign of conflict. The first to go to the world. He pleaded guilty without even being him.

But recently an event happened that changed me.

I learned that the person with whom I had the warmest relationship hates me. And not only hates, but spreads terrible rumors about me.

Here are some of the brightest - "masterpieces":

• I stole one thing from him, which he lost (the cost of the thing is ~ 100 rubles)
• I scratched his car
• I secretly entered his apartment

As you already understood, the person is simply not himself. I understood this too, but, anyway, it came as a shock to me.

Lesson

But, really, any lemon can be used to make lemonade, as Dale Carnegie said.

This nuisance kicked me out of my comfort zone, out of my blind belief that EVERYONE can LIKE. I realized that sometimes, even if you are Mother Teresa herself, a person may not like you.

Well, I don't like it IRRATIONALLY and that's it. In spite of everything.

This new knowledge was of great benefit to me and even changed my life. For the better.

The higher you go, the more ill-wishers

Who will argue with this?

As fate willed, I now write a lot. Unsurprisingly, I pay attention to popular authors and bloggers. Those who made themselves. Self-Made.

Take any popular blogger or writer. And find among them a conformist who does not "rock the boat" on anyone. Doesn't run over. Doesn't criticize. And EVERYONE likes it.

People are tired of clichéd articles that read like a press release. Texts as if generated by a robot. Everyone wants to see a living person behind the articles, with their own opinion.

Unsurprisingly, some people may not like this opinion. Let them be only 2%. But out of 10,000 readers, that's already 200 people.

Take, for example, the most popular LJ blogger, Ilya Varlamov, or the most popular author at LH, Slava Baransky. Their posts always evoke a sea of comments and a storm of emotions.

But how much biased criticism, outright insults and even threats do they receive every day? This is a tribute to their popularity.

To be afraid of not being liked means to be afraid to express your opinion, to be afraid to talk about your ideas.

To be afraid of not being liked is to be afraid to grow.

I don't like me - what to do?

OK, well, somebody doesn't like me. But this does not mean that I will experience some kind of negative attitude towards this person.

If they write to me a negative and even inadequate comment, my reaction is a polite "ignore". I do not go to conflict, I do not succumb to trolling. This is unproductive.

I say to myself: “Maybe he's just drunk? Or was his dog hit by a car?"

But you never know the reasons, about which I can only guess. But I'm not going to guess. It's easier for me to develop a stereotyped reaction - a polite "ignore".

I sort of put an end to the sentence "This person doesn't like me, but it's not scary." Everything. Point. We must live on.

It's funny how such a polite attitude often ends up overpersuading the critic. It also has a positive effect on your image in the eyes of other readers (colleagues, listeners, etc.). After all, what could be more disgusting than seeing the author swearing in the comments?

How has this realization changed my life?

The first thing I did was open my face online.

I used to write my articles under a pseudonym and a stupid avatar.

Why did I hide myself? I was terribly uncomfortable even at the thought that my articles, my thoughts would be seen by everyone. My friends, my relatives, my colleagues. What if they don't like it? What if they think I'm an upstart? And sometimes I make mistakes, sometimes I write blatant nonsense. How to deal with this?

Realizing that it’s impossible to please everyone solved this problem.

Now I write under my name and surname. I do not hide my photos.

And you know - nothing terrible happened. Solid pluses. It is more pleasant for people to communicate with a real person. My blog and my articles have benefited from this.

Summarizing

Every day I see people who are just maddened by the thought that someone might not like them. This is especially true, sorry, girls.

People cannot create, they cannot speak in front of an audience, they cannot get to know the person they like. And all because of the fear of NOT being liked.

Now this is my self-criticism in the past. I solved this problem for myself. Well, I decide))

Maybe my experience will help you to get rid of excessive self-digging.

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Did you like this post? No? Well, to hell with you!))