"Look for someone with whom you can be yourself": 8 tips for bachelors from married men

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

A sample of collective wisdom from Reddit users.

On Reddit, the question is: "Married men, what advice can you give to single?" Users responded to the call, and Lifehacker collected their responses.

1. Find the one

Make sure that your soul mate will be with you in wealth, and in poverty, and in sorrow, and in joy.

I have a friend who lost his job. Fearing his wife's anger, he pretended to leave for work for a whole week after that. His marriage did not last long. If this happened to me, my wife would be the first person to whom I told about the incident. If your girlfriend supports you in everything, then marry her.

2. Don't Stop Dating

Getting married does not mean reaching the finish line in a relationship. Maintain a warm, romantic atmosphere at all times. Small gifts, heart-to-heart talks, and dates with your wife help you avoid the routine.

I've been married for quite some time, and I came up with a great piece of advice: Don't forget why you fell in love with each other. Don't let the routine swallow your couple, make time for your wife, and take a minute every day to express your feelings. This doesn't mean that every day should be like a first date, but small little things from time to time will keep your marriage happy.

3. Know how to talk

Silence about problems will not lead to anything good. Discussing the various points in the relationship will help not to accumulate resentment and discontent. Dialogue will relieve angry quarrels and guarantee understanding in the family. The ability to get out of conflict situations through negotiations is a necessary skill for married people.

I build a constructive dialogue with my wife when there is a problem. I listen to her attentively in order to understand how she sees the current situation. I ask how she wants to solve the problem, what does not suit her and what kind of reaction she expects from me. I think that this advice will suit absolutely everyone.

4. Learn the language of each other's love

You can love your partner as hard as you can, but he will not feel loved because this feeling for him manifests itself differently.

I can constantly tell my wife how much I love her, but she won't feel it if I don't give her enough time. My love language is words, hers is time. To make it easier for others, I identified five languages of loving people.

Here they are:

1. The words. For many, this is the easiest and most effective way to talk about what is in the heart.
2. Time. Others think that anything can be said. But if a person does not seek to spend most of the time with them, then love is not so strong.
3. Touches. Spending the whole day with some people without hugging or kissing can feel like a disaster for them.
4. Present. For many, a hug is not enough. They need small presents to know exactly what is remembered about them. A cute note on the fridge or a flower picked on the way home is all it takes to make them feel loved.
5. Services. Gifts are always appropriate, but some people value requests that are fulfilled much more. No matter how beautiful the bouquet you come home with, your wife will not feel your love if she asked you to throw out the trash in the morning and you ignored her.

It is important to learn to speak with your partner in the language of love that is familiar to him - this will help to avoid a lot of problems.

5. Look for someone with whom you can be yourself

Do not hide your love for football, guns or motorcycles from your potential wife. She does not have to share hobbies and be interested in the same, but it is unacceptable to interfere with doing what she loves.

One day a girl dumped me because I "loved video games more than her."She herself constantly watched TV and sat on social networks, but as soon as I got closer to the console, a scandal began. As a result, both of them got tired of swearing, so she just packed her things and left. Then I married a wonderful girl with whom we have an agreement - to play no more than three hours a day. This rule also applies to her love of TV shows.

6. Be honest

Honesty from the very first meeting is the key to a strong and happy relationship. You should not, of course, dump all the secrets on the first date, but lying is not recommended at all. Especially about things that will sooner or later emerge during life together.

When my wife and I first started dating, I invited her home. On the way, I warned that I was very worried, since the situation in the room was rather specific. The fact is that the walls were covered with posters from one anime, and there were a bunch of figures of the heroes of this cartoon on the table. Imagine my surprise when she not only reacted adequately to the situation, but also named the series, the moments of which were on the posters. If I was then afraid to honestly confess, I could have missed this wonderful woman.

7. Learn to cook

Nothing attracts women as much as a man who knows how to cook. In addition, such a skill will allow you to help your wife when she is tired or simply does not want to stand at the stove.

When my wife and her friends discuss husbands, she always boasts about my cooking skills. And wash the dishes after themselves. Nothing makes her as happy as being able to talk about it.

8. Be cool

Become the person you yourself would like to see next to you.

I always wanted to marry a well-groomed girl with a good figure and no bad habits, but such people bypassed me. Why? Yes, because I could walk in one T-shirt for a week, did not monitor my diet and often drank. Then I realized that I had to start with myself. I lost weight, stopped drinking, and began to dress normally. After six months of a new life, I met my future wife.

What advice would you give to unmarried people? Share in the comments.