7 tips for parents on how to raise an unspoiled and grateful child

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Each parent strives to raise an intelligent, capable, kind, responsive child, but not everyone succeeds. Children grow up spoiled, capricious, arrogant. In a word, spoiled. In this article, we will advise you on what to do to prevent this from happening to your child.

As responsible parents, we want to raise our child as prepared as possible for an independent life in this unpredictable world. But let's be honest: Many people mean by "preparing for an independent life" only a good formal education. From an early age, the child is taught mathematics, writing, natural science and other sciences, and a little later they are sent to a strong school. Of course, all this is useful and will certainly come in handy in adulthood, but is it enough to raise an unspoiled child?

Let's count how many times have you seen smart and educated children who are fixated on themselves and who are not even interested in the opinions, desires and interests of those closest to them? How many times have you come across clever children who do not put their parents at all (disrespect, rudeness, arrogance, arrogance, lies)? And how many times have you met excellent students who, already in adulthood, are completely dependent on their parents? Such children are often called spoiled. And the truth is, there is no gene that can "spoil" a child. The only ones who can do this are his parents.

It is worth understanding one thing: a sympathetic, caring, selfless child does not happen by chance, it is only the merit of his parents. Because it is they who have the key influence on the baby. Your child is a reflection of yourself. Therefore, the best advice for raising the ideal child is to be a good example for him. But if everything were so simple, then there would be no problems with upbringing.

Here are some tips that can help you grow a generous, caring, and responsible person. Before you read them, ask yourself what character traits do you want to see in your child in a few years? Let your answers become for you a cherished goal that you will pursue while raising your child.

1. Love, but mark the boundaries

Raising an unspoiled child is always a balancing act between two extremes: love and the boundaries of what is permitted, warmth and severity, generosity and rejection.

Every morning ask yourself: "If I could teach my son (daughter) just one thing today, what could it be?" Check if the answer is in line with your parenting goals. And in the evening, ask the control question: "What did I teach my child today?"

2. Stop patronizing

Good parenting is not about making sure your child is happy. It's more about teaching him how to deal with setbacks, rejections, mistakes and adversity.

Keeping your child safe from anything that can cause frustration will not help them master this critical skill. This will not teach him to overcome difficulties, relying only on his own strength.

Stop patronizing your child. Give him the opportunity to learn to manage his life on his own, while the mistakes are not so painful.

3. Learn to empathize

Unspoiled children are taught not to always put themselves first. Instead, they know how to take into account the opinions, desires and interests of the people around them (especially those close to them).

Empathy is the ability that enables a small person to think and look at what is happening from the perspective of another. This is the foundation for the development of such character traits as respect, restraint, kindness, selflessness.

4. Develop financial responsibility

One of our main tasks as parents is to teach our child to live relying only on ourselves. This means that we must teach him to manage his finances on his own, and not wait for endless handouts from his parents.

If you feel like a kind of "golden ATM" for your children, then the smartest solution would be to close your wallet.

An unspoiled child is one who understands the words "no" and "not now."

5. Say no without guilt

Constant satisfaction of the child's desires will not help teach him that life will not always go according to his plan. Add the word “no” to your vocabulary and don't feel guilty when you have to say it. Trust me, in the long run, your kids will still be grateful for this.

6. Learn to give, not just receive

Let your children understand that they can change lives simply by giving or doing something for other people. Indeed, many of them do not even know that this is possible.

I saw an article somewhere that said that generous children are not only less selfish and appreciate those around them more, but they are also happier in life.

One of the best ways to keep your child safe from selfishness is to periodically engage them in non-rewarding volunteer work.

7. Replace "I" with "we"

Children are self-centered. They think that the world revolves only around them. They are more concerned with themselves and their own needs, and they do not pay attention to the opinions and desires of others. And in order not to allow them to get hung up only on themselves, you need to take them away from the infinite “I-I-I” and teach them to think in the format “we-we-we”.

Here are some simple expressions you can use when talking to your child:

• Let's ask Masha what she would like to do?
• Remember, we always share!
• Ask your friend what he would like to play?
• Now it's your brother's turn.
• Let's help Mom clean up the room.

Try to always emphasize "we".

Conclusion

Parenting is not a popularity contest! There will be many times when you have to make a choice, and it will not always be to your child's liking. But, if you have made a decision, follow it to the end.

Understand one important thing: you are responsible for your child, and he, in turn, needs you to grow up to be kind, caring, responsible and considerate of other people.