How to help your child overcome learning difficulties: 4 tips from a Stanford professor

If a person thinks that he cannot master certain skills, then he is deceiving himself - says Professor Joe Bowler, who teaches at Stanford University. This belief undermines the ability to learn new things - be it math, languages, or playing the clarinet. Bowler explains how to help your child overcome learning barriers. However, advice is also useful for adults.

1. Difficulties should be taken as a gift

“If students tell me that the task is very difficult, I answer: this is great!” Bowler explains. Coping with difficulties and debriefing is the best thing a person can do for their brain. If there is no struggle, there will be no result.

The child is rarely tuned in to learning difficulties, so when he encounters them, he panics and thinks that something is wrong with him. But if you prepare for the fight in advance, then it will be taken for granted, excitement and perseverance will wake up. Scientists call these "desirable difficulties."

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2. Praise in moderation (and correctly)

Most loving parents reassure their children that they are very smart. The child thinks, "Oh, great, I'm smart." But later, when mistakes begin, this attitude may shake and the student decides that he is not that great, and the words of adults are just an attempt to cheer him up.

Of course, you do not need to go to extremes and tell the child that he is stupid. Better to drop any labels like "smart" and "stupid" altogether. They lead to the false belief that cognitive abilities are fixed and cannot change, which is not the case at all.

Instead of saying "You are so smart" it is better to say: "I like your approach, you did a great job on this task."

3. Give up the theory of "weaknesses" and "strengths"

Of course, all people are different and someone does something better than a neighbor on a desk. But for the duration of the training, it is better to forget about all these "weak" and "strong" sides, as well as about the eternal division into humanities and techies.

“Consider if you really can't learn a skill because you don't have the ability, or if you just think you’re not good at it,” writes Bowler. The same goes for children. There is no need to inspire a child that, for example, he only has the ability to do mathematics, and languages are not his sphere.

4. Use words that develop thinking

The intelligence and thinking of children needs to be guided with the right formulations. For example, when a child tells you that he cannot do something, correct him: "Do you mean that you have not yet learned how to do it?" From the outside it seems that there is nothing special about this, but in the future the effect will be colossal.

“One of my favorite educational studies is the work of my colleague Jeff Cohen,” says Bowler. - Scientists have divided high school students into two groups. All wrote essays and received feedback from their teachers. But for half of the students, teachers added just one sentence at the end of the review. The children who read this sentence have achieved much better results a year later.

What was this proposal? "I am writing this review because I believe in you." This shows how important it is not only to believe in children, but also to tell them about it and give them the right attitude”.

Bowler also advises guiding the child to independent discoveries, encouraging curiosity. Do not pretend to be an expert on all matters with him and do not pretend that you understand what you do not know. It is better to offer to sort things out together.

In the classroom at the Skyeng online school, independence is only encouraged: the student speaks a significant part of the lesson, and not just repeats after the teacher. And in between meetings, you can learn new words through podcasts, movies and TV shows with smart subtitles. Right now, Lifehacker and Skyeng are giving away 100 free English lessons for children and adults. Do you want to participate?