How to answer uncomfortable questions when leaving a prestigious job

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

There are some things to prepare for in advance. The sudden loss of a good high-paying job is one of them. Here is a cheat sheet that will help you fend off uncomfortable questions from others and finally get depressed.

Changing your life 180 degrees is not easy. Leaving a corporation, joining a corporation, starting a business, closing it - these are all decisions that we have to make. While everyone's personal situation is different, there are general things that are useful to know before they happen to you.

I have worked in corporations for 25 years. And she left. I have friends and acquaintances who have passed or are passing this way. Some are successful, some are not. From observations of them and personal experience, 10 questions have emerged that you will have to answer when you decide to change your life. And after each answer, you will need to perform a whole series of actions in order not to regret what was done. Use this cheat sheet.

Some of the questions will be asked by the people around you: relatives, friends and former colleagues. And some you will ask yourself.

1. How did you manage to leave?

Who will ask. Everything from loved ones to former colleagues. The question can be very painful: you are already worried, and such comments add fuel to the fire.

What to answer. It is better to tell the truth to those whom you trust, because then you will turn to them for support and help. For example: "I burned out for a long time, nothing shone for me there." For those who do not really trust, say vaguely: "It's time to move forward, I want to try myself in a new one."

What to do. Start a notebook in which for a month or two to write down all thoughts about what happened. This will be a kind of diary. If you know what freewriting is, practice it for a month or two. This will reduce the severity of the problem and the anxiety will decrease.

2. What will you live on?

Who will ask. Everything. And first of all, you yourself. And then - relatives (especially if you are the breadwinner in the family), friends, acquaintances and even ex-colleagues, whom this does not concern at all.

What to answer. To those whom you trust or who depend on you (parents, minor children, spouse), answer as it is: "We (I) have so much money, and it will be enough for us to live so many months." … And to everyone else, including friends, acquaintances, former colleagues and other inquisitive comrades, just smile sweetly. Money doesn't like chatter.

What to do. Without putting it on the back burner, revise your personal or family budget.

Find out how much your compulsory expenses are (rent, apartment rent, gasoline or a travel card, telephone, internet, kindergarten or school, as well as a loan or mortgage, if you have one).

Go to the bank and find out if a loan or mortgage can be structured - just in case. Pay in advance for 2–3 months rent of an apartment, because cases of eviction are a frequent occurrence.

Calculate current expenses (food, clothes and shoes, entertainment), cross out unnecessary purchases and determine what level of expenses will be the maximum for you for a certain period.

You will be surprised to find that some of the costs have been serving your chronic stress.

After another catch-up, you went to the store not only to buy the really necessary thing, but just to calm down. Keep this in mind when going to the mall. After all, at the first stage, anxiety about what happened is still very high and can literally push you to unnecessary purchases. Also exclude spontaneous shopping: alas, this is a harmful and ineffective pill for anxiety. Its action will end as soon as you find yourself at home.

Yes, you will have to plan all purchases for a while. It turns out that most of us can cut our costs, and suddenly an airbag will form that will help you hold out the first time.

3. Where did you go?

Who will ask. This question is usually intimidating, and in fact, not many people will ask it. Basically, these will be acquaintances and former colleagues, because your relatives are most likely aware of the current situation: have you gone nowhere or have clear plans for organizing your life.

What to answer. Answer all the same: "There are a couple of proposals, now I choose." This is almost true. If you decide to return to the corporation, sooner or later you will find a job for yourself. If you decide to start your own business, it will take several tries before you find your niche. There is no need to worry others in vain.

What to do. This is a topic for a separate article, but as a first step it is useful to write yourself 2-3 directions that you are interested in, in which you would like to work.

4. What are you going to do now?

Who will ask. Everything. And loved ones too, because they are afraid of losing their former well-being, because their picture of the world, in which you were a breadwinner, collapsed. Looking at how you are sitting at your computer or being discouraged, they will be even more upset. Former colleagues do not really care, but they will ask this question out of curiosity or passive aggression.

What to answer. Answer with the general phrase "I am actively looking for a new direction, I need time." For a period of time, everyone will really calm down, and then they will forget about you.

What to do. Answer yourself to the questions: "Why are these areas interesting to me?", "What can I already, what skills do I have?" Honest answers to yourself are enough to start moving forward.

5. From whom to expect help?

Who will ask. You. In times of crisis, we are very vulnerable (and leaving or being fired is certainly the hardest crisis).

What to answer. The only honest answer, in which you will not be disappointed later, sounds harsh: "Only from yourself."

This does not mean at all that you will be left alone, but it means that you have all the responsibility for your life.

What to do. As expected, you will rely on those who were with you in a quiet time: relatives, friends. Not worth it. They experience the same fear as you, or even more, because you have ceased to be a stronghold of reliability and stability. Don't put expectations on your loved ones. But be sure to say that their help and support will be very valuable to you. When you admit that you are scared and want to share your feelings with someone, usually the very help that you need comes in.

6. And you traded a job in a good company for this ?

Who will ask. Friends and former colleagues. Psychologists qualify such questions as a sign of passive aggression. The people who ask them have mixed feelings about you. At best, they envy you, at worst, they will set you up or turn away.

What to answer."This is my choice, we'll talk in a year or two." Or not to answer at all.

What to do. Stop communicating with these people. For all or for a while. While you are in crisis, they are not your helpers. Look for others, those who will believe in you and will not pull back.

7. How are you without office coffee and corporate events?

Who will ask. Former colleagues. They are in this situation and measure life in the usual coordinate system.

What to answer. Depending on the sense of humor of the interlocutor, either laugh it off, or say that you expect an invitation from them. Well, do you really miss the coffee from the car and free alcohol?

What to do. Brew good coffee at home or skip it altogether. View photos from the corporate party in social networks and remember how it was before. Surely I didn't always like it. It is the same there and now.

8. What are you doing?

Who will ask. Anyone you happen to speak to.

What to answer. The main thing is not to be embarrassed or make excuses. See point 9: the interlocutor does not know about your situation, he is simply interested in your field of activity, as is customary. You can come up with any streamlined phrase: "I work in real estate", "I am engaged in various projects in the field of advertising" and so on.

What to do. Search for your niche.

9. May I have your business card?

Who will ask. Everyone you meet at an external event: concert, conference, training, and so on. This simple question can be very painful for you. You are already under stress because of the loss of your job, and strangers ask you about it, as if on purpose. It is enough to realize that outsiders do not know anything about your situation, and you will calm down.

What to answer. Since there is no new business card, it must be made. What to write on it - read on. But if you are not prepared, then the simplest answer is: “Unfortunately, I don’t have a business card with me today, but I will gladly take yours and send my contacts tonight.” Needless to say, in the evening you need to write to the person from whom you took the business card.

What to do. In any printing house for 200-300 rubles today you can make a business card. A business card is not only your position, it is, first of all, contacts. But only. You cannot allow the lack of business cards to slow down the expansion of your contacts. Therefore, if you do not yet know what you intend to do, post only basic information on it - name, surname, phone number, email, Skype, and so on - and describe yourself briefly, for example, "designer", "project manager", "freelancer" … And later, when you decide on your niche, business cards are easy to change.

10. How long will this continue?

Who will ask. You and your loved ones. Because both they and you experience a range of different feelings, mostly negative.

What to answer. The most honest answer to myself is: "I don't know." Each of us is different, each has a different situation and ability to withstand stress. But the relatives will hardly bear such an answer. They don't want the truth, they want consolation. Therefore, you can answer them like this: “I think in 3-4 months everything will return to normal”. I warn you: this is a half-truth answer. To meet this deadline, you will have to show incredible determination. Most likely, your search will take 6-8 months, so it's best to be mentally prepared. But for now, buy yourself a break at the cost of these simple answers.

What to do. MAKE. Everything described in this article. You will succeed.