How to get married

Understand why you need to get married

The right motivation is important in this matter. What is “getting married” for you? Perhaps you want to live your entire life with the most beautiful man in the world. Or you are afraid that something will happen to you, and the boyfriend will not be allowed to the hospital, since formally he is no one to you. Or you want to put a stamp so that parents do not pester with uncomfortable questions. Or you think your man will change for the better after you get married (spoiler: no). Or you want beautiful photos in a white dress.

Answer yourself honestly why you need a stamp in your passport and is it worth the effort if the marriage did not work out by itself. For those who are sure that they simply cannot do without marriage, it is time to take decisive action.

If you have someone to marry

You have been in a relationship for a long time and you think it’s time to take a walk in the direction of the registry office. However, the boyfriend is in no hurry to ask for your hand. There are several ways to convey to him that you are dreaming of a wedding.

How can you do

1. To say directly about the desire to get married

Talking about where your relationship is heading is a non-binding option, but dotting the i's. But it is important to be prepared for the fact that answers to provocative questions can be different, including unpleasant ones. On the one hand, the boyfriend can take a ring out of the sock drawer and propose immediately. On the other hand, you may hear that the person does not want to marry - in general or to you.

Any answer is beneficial. You will either understand when to plan a wedding, or go in search of a man whose matrimonial plans will coincide with yours.

2. Hint

Let's say you read a lot of advice in women's magazines and at the beginning of the relationship in every possible way emphasized that you do not want to get married. Or you really didn’t want to and didn’t hesitate to talk about it. Or you have already rejected one offer from this man for some unrelated reason, but now you are ripe for marriage. In these cases, the boyfriend may delay the proposal because he does not want to be rejected.

It's time to gently tell your beloved that you had no time before, but now you are quite ready. And here is the time to turn to those very women's magazines and use their advice on hints. The point is not at all that they broadcast some ingenious ways to communicate the desire to get married. It's just that men are quite familiar with these encryptions and recognize them well.

So, how can you eloquently hint at the desire to try on a white dress:

groan with delight at the sight of wedding shop windows;
watch a romantic movie and sob with happiness for the heroine in scenes with a proposal and a wedding;
to tell your friend that the guy finally made an offer, and they met exactly as long as you did.

But you should still not go beyond the boundaries of adequacy, especially if you usually are flint and do not groan, even when you hit the battery with your little toe. So, one "specialized" film will be enough, it is not necessary to arrange a week-long film marathon. If a man does not understand the hints, it is not at all because you are trying hard. He just doesn't want to get married.

3. To visit relatives and tactless friends more often

You don't have to initiate the marriage conversation yourself. It is enough to choose the right company. Hundreds of questions like "Why don't you get married?" sooner or later they will make you look for answers to them. Many couples eventually decide for themselves: why not. And get married.

4. Catch the bridal bouquet at the wedding

A beautiful someone else's wedding is a great warm-up for the muscles responsible for getting up on one knee. When the bride is beautiful, the groom is happy, the wedding vows are touching, and the cake is delicious, even in the dry eyes of a cynic, a tear of emotion can flash.

If you catch a bouquet, be sure that only the lazy will not come up to you to wish you happiness and ask when the happy date is, and this has a very stimulating effect on boyfriends softened with emotion and toasts. Better than a bouquet in this case can only be a combo of a caught bouquet and a garter.

5. Make an offer yourself

It is hardly worth buying a ring and getting on one knee in front of your beloved. But a touching speech in which you tell that you want to spend your whole life with him is very useful. The well-timed “marry me” has caused a lot more marriages than you think.

6. Find rational reasons for marriage

In some cases, marriage can be a logical and profitable solution. For example, you can reduce the interest on a mortgage if you take it as a young family. Or emigrate together if one of the couple was offered a good job abroad.

Considerations of practicality and benefits are a good reason to go to the registry office for those who do not see the point in the stamp.

7. Change the man

If the boyfriend clearly does not want to get married, and this is a matter of principle for you, then it may be worth looking for a person with whom your views on an important issue coincide.

How not to do it

1. Include "wife demo"

Of course, for the sake of marriage, you can start cooking three-course dinners every day and spend all your free time with a vacuum cleaner and a doormat. It is even possible that such a tactic will work. But you definitely need an alliance with a man who appreciated you only when you became a cleaner and a cook?

2. Create the appearance of competition

The advice to pretend that the beloved has a competitor who will not hesitate with an offer sounds quite often. But this tactic can have the opposite effect. Serious relationships usually lead to marriage. The presence of a second man, whom you are also ready to marry, indicates your frivolity and infidelity rather than being in demand.

3. Secretly get pregnant

No contraceptive is 100% guaranteed, and an unplanned pregnancy happens. But piercing condoms, lying about pills and other manipulations are reproductive violence, and any violence is extremely unpleasant. You don’t need to do this, even if no one knows about it, because it’s disgusting.

If there is no one to marry

Your main task is to find a man with whom in the future you will walk to the table of a registry office worker.

1. Think about why you are still not married

It is best to think about this issue together with a psychologist. Perhaps you are afraid of a serious relationship or have a negative attitude towards marriage, because there are only bad examples in front of your eyes. It is possible that unpleasant discoveries await you. But a specialist will teach you how to work with fears so that they do not interfere with happiness in your personal life.

2. Take care of yourself

Women are often unhappy with themselves, and it's not just about their appearance. Take advantage of the moment and work on weak points. It is not necessary to bring yourself to some accepted standard in society, although this will definitely expand your circle of fans. Just become the best version of yourself. First, it will build confidence. Secondly, relationships take up a lot of time, take advantage of the moment when you can give yourself 100% of the attention.

3. Decide on the criteria for the chosen one

There are women who fall desperately in love with men who are not suitable for them from time to time. The reasons may be different: parental scenario, public opinion, stereotypes. For example, you fall in love with an aggressive guy because you have the image of a masculine defender in your head, and then it turns out that you need to defend against him.

Therefore, the criteria of the chosen one must be approached with a sober head. Describe your appearance, age, profession, character traits, skills, interests. Separately, mark what should not be in your beloved. Now, from both lists, select the 5-10 most important points that you will be guided by. Such a list will save you from falling into the arms of the wrong man again.

4. Think about where to look for the right guy

The list will help you choose the right place where there are chances to meet a suitable gentleman. For example, you rarely see a teetotaler in a bar, and a person who is fond of historical reconstruction is better to look for at the appropriate festivals. Although, of course, you can meet your soul mate almost anywhere.

If you don't know where to get acquainted, you should consider the options from this list.

Dating sites and apps

Dating sites and Tinder are more likely to look for partners for one night rather than for life. But there are also a lot of stories that ended with a wedding. Be prepared for the fact that it will take a long time to clean out insults, stupidity and photos of other people's genitals from personal messages before someone adequate writes.

Quick acquaintances

Usually quick dates go like this: you sit at a table, and every 3-5 minutes a new man joins you. During these 3-5 minutes you need to find out if you like each other. If so, you can exchange contacts. In short, fast dating is such an offline Tinder.

It seems that this method is chosen by those who are completely desperate. But where else can you meet so many men in reality.

Associations of interest

You can find a partner with common interests in the corresponding offline clubs, on forums, in groups in social networks, in Telegram chats. Relationships often grow out of long dialogues and even quarrels. So head to the Klingon Speaking Club, sign up on the Black Mirror fan site, or go on a camping trip.

Work

If you have a small company with ten employees, this option is not entirely suitable. On the other hand, large corporations usually have a lot to choose from. It will be easy for you to find out your profession, range of interests, and there is always a topic for conversation.

Keep in mind that a relationship at work is worth starting only if you are ready to quit at any time. This outcome is possible if the relationship develops, but corporate policy prohibits communication between employees, or nothing will work out, and you have to run away from gossip.

Friends of friends

Surely your friends have repeatedly offered to introduce you to someone. Stop refusing, suddenly this is the one who is needed.

5. Go to the first part of the article

If you met a man, but he is in no hurry to get married, now is the time to read the first part of the article and figure out how to inform him about the desire to get married.