10 reasons why you can't do anything

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Sometimes the main culprits of all problems are ourselves.

We've all experienced failure at some point. There may be many reasons for this, but to be honest, in most cases they all boil down to one thing: when life offers us some kind of opportunity, we tend to avoid the pressures and difficulties that are associated with moving forward. It is much easier to immediately come to terms with defeat: you never know what awaits you on the way to your dream?

And here are the top 10 reasons for failure, which are whole strategies to avoid working on yourself. By following these strategies, we are bound to fail. Read and cry.

1. You are afraid to stand out

Any society monitors each of its members so that he does not demonstrate excessive self-confidence.

Ralph Waldo Emerson American essayist, poet and philosopher

People don't like it when others change or do things that make them feel uncomfortable. When you challenge yourself on the path to your ideal, others perceive it as a threat to their inner balance. The success of others makes them reflect on their own failures and wasted potential. This is pretty frustrating, so most people will react aggressively to your actions.

This is the truth of life. If you want to achieve something outstanding, something that sets you apart from everyone else, you have to understand that you are different and learn to live with it.

People will call you weird, nuts, selfish, arrogant, irresponsible, obnoxious, stupid, rude, shallow, insecure, fat, and ugly. They will try to "bring you back to reality", to force you to behave like a "normal" person. Perhaps those closest to you will be the most cruel to you. If you are not confident enough in your ideas and desires, then you will not get far.

2. You lack tenacity

In 2009, Karl Marlantes finally published The Matterhorn, based on his own memories of the Vietnam War. The book became a bestseller. The New York Times called it "one of the deepest and most impressive books about the war." According to the author of The Fall of the Black Hawk Down, Mark Bowden, The Matterhorn is the greatest book about the Vietnam War.

How did Marlantes come to such success? For 35 years he had been trying to get his book published. This is more than half of his entire life. He rewrote the manuscript six times. In the first two decades after the book was written, publishers rejected the novel as soon as they read it.

There are quite a few such stories. Think of Walt Disney, who was considered mediocre. For twenty years he persuaded Pamela Travers to agree to the adaptation of her book.

Most of us give up too quickly on the way to our cherished goal. And almost every success story is also a story of perseverance and struggle. Nothing really worthwhile comes easy.

3. You lack modesty

Just don't confuse modesty with shyness. Many people, having barely achieved anything, begin to consider themselves experts in their field. Modesty means understanding that you don't know everything.

Really great people know they don't know anything.

Interestingly, people whose achievements do not represent something supernatural like to talk about their success most of all. It is they who often become coaches and begin to teach everyone and everything how to achieve high results in their business.

Conversely, people who have made themselves, have made a real breakthrough in their industry, usually say little about how they got it. They are either downplaying their accomplishments or simply not mentioning them. Instead, they admit they make mistakes, talk openly about their weaknesses and what they have yet to learn.

4. You are having trouble making connections and building strong relationships

In the modern world, the skill of communicating with people is extremely important. There are even separate training sessions for mastering networking. In some industries without art, networking is extremely difficult to advance. In addition, you just need to be able to ask people for help. However, sometimes our fear, self-doubt, or, conversely, arrogance interfere with our communication with other people and make us miss valuable opportunities that could change our whole life.

66% of hired employees know someone from the company in which they will work. But even outside of a business relationship, the quest for isolation can undermine all your efforts. Moreover, it often leads to depression. The ability to build strong romantic relationships is also closely related to the ability to meet the right people and interact with them fruitfully.

5. You would rather argue than follow someone else's advice

Wanting to prove you're right instead of improving yourself is a guaranteed path to failure. To be successful, you need to follow a feedback loop.

Try to do something → get feedback on the results → extract useful information from it → try something new.

People who would rather die than reconsider their position often break this chain and do not accept feedback. Therefore, they will never change.

This does not mean that we should listen to all the advice that is given to us. The point is to take into account the information that comes to us as feedback, regardless of whether we find it useful or not. You should not strive at all costs to defend your position, only to look as if you were right all this time.

People who suffer from this problem are usually very intelligent and extremely insecure. This is a bad combination. The smarter a person is, the longer he will rationalize his failures and find excuses for himself. He uses all his intelligence to build a defense mechanism for his fragile ego.

6. You are distracted too much

We check the VKontakte news feed, Facebook, climb into the mailbox, Facebook again, VKontakte again, what a cool comic, share it on Facebook, check the mail again, reply to the VKontakte message, wow, pictures with cats, share and by them, we repeat from the very beginning.

Did you recognize yourself? It's not something worth wasting your time on, is it?

7. You do not take responsibility for what happens to you

Are you constantly making excuses for yourself? This way you will not move forward. To solve problems, you need to take control of your life. But you cannot take control of life unless you take responsibility for it. Therefore, if you do not take responsibility, you will fail.

Yes, it is very tempting to throw the blame for what is happening on external factors, insist that you could not do anything, that you are not to blame, he came himself. But maybe it's still worth giving yourself an imaginary slap in the face and soberly assessing your contribution to the current situation? The sooner you do it, the sooner you can fix it.

8. You don't believe that success is possible

To win, you need to believe in the possibility of victory. It has nothing to do with self-belief, and there is nothing supernatural about it. Your subconscious beliefs about your capabilities affect real productivity.

For example, research on Self-Deception and Its Relationship to Success in Competition. showed that athletes who, albeit untrue, but a positive idea of their abilities, showed better results than athletes with a more realistic or pessimistic attitude.

In addition, people who overestimate their capabilities find it much easier to climb. It's easier for them to start acting. And when you learn from your mistakes, you eventually succeed. Therefore, sometimes a little illusion can be of benefit to you.

9. You are afraid to be indifferent

Many people get the virus of indifference. Nothing really inspires them. Such people do not dare to fully devote themselves to any business, project or goal. Many of them give up very quickly. Others just lose interest. And many do not even have the strength to start.

Chronic indifference is an insidious defense mechanism. It undermines the motivation and inspiration needed to get rid of it. Thus, a person falls into a vicious circle.

On an unconscious level, many people are afraid to take on a job with all their might, because they understand that they can fail. This failure can cause a stream of thoughts in them, for which their psyche is not at all prepared: questions about their own significance, competence, the question of whether you are worthy of love, and so on.

Usually, people using this mechanism get rid of it only when a new emotionally tense situation occurs in their life, which they manage to cope with.

10. Deep down, you think you don't deserve what you want

Increasingly, we come to the main reason for failure, which is often hidden behind the above. It is the confidence that you are not worthy of what you would like to receive.

Many of us have suppressed our most unpleasant feelings and ideas about ourselves, but this has not disappeared anywhere. These ideas evolved in different ways: someone was bullied at school, someone was constantly told by teachers or parents that he would not achieve anything in life, someone was not liked by their peers for their abilities. All this leaves an imprint that is difficult to get rid of. As a result, the very thought of achieving high results often causes discomfort in us.

If we feel that something is not rightfully ours, we always find a way to get rid of it.

The disadvantages and advantages of a high position make some feel like kings, while others feel like deceivers. Sometimes, as we approach success, a familiar inner voice begins to speak in us, feeding our fears and self-doubt, until we destroy everything we have achieved. It could be a relationship with the very best people we have met, a dream job that we hesitate to embark on, a unique creative opportunity that we exchange for more practical pursuits.

Whatever it is, hidden fears come to the surface and find a way to destroy what you are striving for. More precisely, they force you to destroy it.

This is the harshest truth behind our failures. It's all about yourself. There is no one else in this equation.

And as long as you deny it, your fear will not go anywhere. He will be an invisible barrier separating you from happiness. You will constantly beat against it, but you cannot break it. There is a way out, but you have to be prepared for pain and suffering. Otherwise, you will not be able to look into the eyes of what prevents you from achieving your goals. You will face the same problems over and over again. Time after time, until you are ready to admit they exist.