13 tips to enjoy being alone

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Loneliness has become the main fear of modern people. We do everything to be with someone: we go to uninteresting parties, listen to boring interlocutors, rush to get married, create the illusion of communication on social networks. Riscology.co founder Tyler Tervoren shared the secrets of how to be lonely and completely happy. Lifehacker publishes a translation of his article.

Today it seems that something is wrong with you if you are alone. We praise extroverts - those who know how to behave in a crowd and have a lot of friends. We think that working in groups and teams is the only way to find a solution to a problem. That two heads are better than one. That collaboration is the only way for the future.

But the truth is, more than half of the world's population will disagree. But sometimes the pressure gets so strong that I wonder what is wrong with me. Why am I not drawn to parties, or working in large teams, or being the center of attention.

But I'm fine. I'm an introvert. There is a 50 percent chance that you are, too. If you are an introvert, welcome to the club. There will be no meetings, because we prefer to be alone, but this knowledge will help to understand that you are not alone in your attitude.

If you are an extrovert, do not feel that this article is of no value to you. In the same way that introverts try to find pleasure in a group of people, you can find a way to enjoy the time with yourself. This is the greatest value - to be able to be alone with yourself.

The following 13 rules I use when I'm alone. Whether you are an introvert trying to adjust to the extrovert world, or an extrovert learning to be alone, I think these rules will help you too.

1. Understand that you are good on your own

You are a valued person, you do not need someone's approval to be sure of this. When you are alone, remind yourself of this, because you yourself made that choice. It's easy to find someone to spend time with you, but remind yourself that it's better to be alone than with someone who isn't worthy of you.

2. Appreciate the opinion of others, but your own - more

Don't ask for advice if you don't really need it. Instead, ask yourself for advice. The more time you ask yourself questions, the less you will wait for an answer from others.

When you trust yourself to solve problems, you become a stronger and more confident person. You will be able to tackle problems that were not previously strong enough to solve.

3. Learn to be an observer

If you are not interested in anything, it says more about you than if someone finds you boring. To truly enjoy being alone, learn to see ordinary situations in a new light. Go to the park and watch people play with children or dogs.

Wherever you go, make an effort to understand the people around you. Understanding how people act when no one is looking at them will make you feel more connected to them.

4. Close your eyes in a dark room and listen to the silence

The world is a lively place. If you don't pull away from him from time to time, you will easily forget how wonderful it is to just sit alone and enjoy your company.

Take a moment and sit quietly in a dark room. Listen to everything that is happening around you. You can learn a lot about yourself in these moments, when you are not busy with anything, when there is nothing that would distract you from thoughts and feelings that you can deny at other times.

5. Learn to talk to yourself

It's perfectly okay to talk to yourself. You're crazy if you think that's not the case. Each person has an inner voice that constantly speaks to him.

Getting to know the owner of this voice and learning to speak to him is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. When you fill the time with other people, it is easier to ignore that voice, but when you are alone, this is your only company.

6. Appreciate every moment

Some people must experience tragedy before realizing how short their stay in this world is. Time alone is important. Time alone is wonderful. But this time is wasted on others.

There is no such thing as a boring person or a boring situation. If you get bored, then you are not paying attention. The problem is with you, not your environment. Take an interest in the people who come into your life. Listen carefully to what they have to say. Watch what they do. Try to understand them. And you will become the best for them.

7. Rearrange the furniture

When you're alone, it's easy to feel like nothing is changing around you. And this is true if you are not making an effort to change something.

Rearranging furniture is not a big deal, but it can breathe life into a routine that is easy to fall victim to if left alone for a long time.

8. Avoid mindless consumption

When you are alone, you have a tremendous opportunity to reflect on your life and the direction you are better off taking. Are you really happy and fulfilled? Should you keep doing what you are doing? Or do you feel dissatisfied? Do you have to change something?

Only you can answer these questions. If instead you fill your life with meaningless consumption - TV, movies, surfing the Internet - then you can never answer them clearly.

9. Create

Creating is the main thing that you can do in your life. When you are alone, the only person stopping you from being creative and working is yourself. There are no more excuses.

There is an option to ignore the need to create something and look for comfort in things and people, which in the end will leave you unsatisfied. Use your loneliness to be creative.

10. Come up with plans for the future and implement them immediately

It is almost impossible to be content with your life and not have some direction in it. The purpose of life doesn't have to be difficult. You just have to imagine it.

Implement your plans immediately. Don't put them off, don't wait for a great opportunity. The longer you wait, the harder it becomes to start something.

When you reach your goals, two things happen. First, you feel confident. Second, this confidence attracts interesting new people into your life.

11. Go to watch movies alone

Get used to performing alone the actions that society dictates to do together. Go to the cinema and enjoy the movie. Have lunch with you. Take yourself out on a date and treat yourself well.

It will be awkward at first. Don't try to hide the discomfort, accept it. Then laugh at it, because who decided that you couldn't do these things alone?

12. Take on a dead end project

When you work in a team, there is high pressure on you because you have to meet the established requirements. In my opinion, this is a terrible way to create something important and really meaningful.

When you are alone, you can take on whatever business you like. Use this freedom to your advantage.

An important part of life is doing what everyone thinks is unreasonable or impractical. Think about the strangest thing you ever wanted to do, and then take a small step towards making it happen. This is what you do exclusively for yourself.

13. Spend Your Time Voluntarily with Others

Being alone and happy doesn't mean isolating yourself from the world. This means being confident enough to know that you can surround yourself with people, but not depend on them.

A good way to start is to surround yourself with the good people you find when you spend your time with them.