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How to know that you are a real social phobia
How to know that you are a real social phobia
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Five signs distinguish social anxiety from introverts.

How to know that you are a real social phobia
How to know that you are a real social phobia

All and sundry are calling themselves sociophobes today. This is a kind of image of a hero of our time - a closed, detached introvert who does not want to join the crowd and follow mass trends.

But in reality, this is not at all the case. Social anxiety (or social anxiety disorder) is not a proud posture. This is a complete mental disorder, Social anxiety disorder (social phobia), which seriously spoils life.

What is the difference between a social phobia and an introvert?

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Ellen Hendricksen Psychologist, Anxiety Disorder Specialist, Boston University

In the past few years, being intimate and self-absorbed has become not only socially acceptable, but even fashionable. However, there is a line between introversion and social anxiety.

Clinical psychologist Ellen Hendricksen identifies five clear differences Am I Introverted or Socially Anxious? between social anxiety and introverts.

1. Introverts are born, social phobia - they become

Introversion is an innate trait. Since childhood, an introvert prefers solitude to noisy companies and is charged with energy alone with himself. He is used to it, the desire for solitude is part of his character.

The social phobia is a completely different story. This is an acquired quality. As a rule, a person perfectly remembers that he was once different. His character has changed as a result of some psychological trauma - offense, betrayal, devaluation from others.

2. Introvert is comfortable alone, social phobia - only less restless

Whether alone or with close friends, introverts relax and recharge. This is the only reason why they, for example, refuse noisy parties: they really feel good alone.

The sociophobe, on the other hand, avoids going out for another reason. He would like to join the company, chat and have fun, but it's corny scary. A person with social anxiety is afraid of being ridiculed, rejected, unnoticed. This fear is so great that the social phobia stays at home. It may be boring for him, but it’s calmer.

3. Introvert knows how to communicate, social phobia is afraid of it

The average introvert, despite his love of privacy, has strong social skills. If necessary, he easily turns them on: initiates conversations, communicates with people, enters into negotiations, insists on his own. Yes, for him it is a labor-intensive process. But later, the introvert compensates for the lost energy by lounging with a book on the couch or simply walking alone in the park.

For a social phobia, communication is torture. Therefore, he avoids it in every possible way. If you don't get away from contact, he behaves like a victim: he speaks very quietly or too quickly, hides his eyes, smiles all the time and talks in an ingratiating tone.

4. Both the introvert and the social phobia are worried about what others think of them. But at different levels

Introverts (as well as extroverts) care about what their close or significant people think of them. They easily ignore the opinion of those around them.

For a sociophobe, the attitude of everyone is critically important - from the grandmother on the bench at the entrance to the wrong stranger with the number. A person who suffers from social anxiety always thinks that others think negatively about him, trying to make fun of him. That he does not correspond to the society in which he finds himself. This is a huge nervous load.

5. The introvert accepts himself for who he is. Sociophobe suffers from perfectionism

Perfectionism is the root of social anxiety disorder. A person sincerely believes that he must be ideal and only in this case he will be accepted and not harshly criticized. Therefore, social phobes, standing, for example, in line for a hamburger, mentally rehearse how they will voice the order. Or, before calling the support service, they write down the upcoming dialogue on a sheet - so as not to get lost and not to say "wrong."

What are the symptoms of social phobia

Social phobia is a fairly common phenomenon.

In the United States alone, Social Anxiety Disorder affects about 15 million people.

If the comparison with introverts still leaves you in doubt, here is a list of unequivocal symptoms of Social anxiety disorder (social phobia) that betray a social phobia. The more you recognize yourself in them, the closer you are to social anxiety disorder.

Emotional and Behavioral Signs

  • Fear of situations in which you might be criticized. Therefore, you try to be silent.
  • Fear that someone can humiliate you at any time.
  • Fear of speaking or calling first.
  • The fear of picking up the phone if they call from an unknown number or on the other end of the line is a new person.
  • Avoiding situations that make you the center of attention.
  • Severe anxiety before talking or meeting with strangers. Even going to the store where you need to communicate with the cashier can be stressful.
  • The desire to contact people not in person or by phone, but through text messages. Love for online shopping instead of going to the supermarket.
  • Fear that others will notice how nervous you are.
  • Expecting the worst from any upcoming contacts. If there is a conversation with the boss, the social phobia expects to be yelled at. When it comes to meeting friends, he worries that he will seem like a loser or will be laughed at.
  • Prolonged reflection after communicating with people. A sociophobe can replay the conversation in his head for a long time, choosing more accurate words and worrying that he looked less convincing than he could.

Physical signs

This is what often accompanies social phobia's contacts with the outside world:

  • sweating;
  • trembling in the limbs;
  • accelerated heartbeat;
  • nausea or stomach upset;
  • breathing problems ("throat caught");
  • dizziness, confusion;
  • cognitive stupor - lethargy, inability to find words quickly;
  • muscle tension.

What to do with social anxiety

Social anxiety disorder is corrected like other mental disorders. For this there are psychotherapists. Contrary to popular belief, these specialists do not talk with patients about a difficult childhood (except sometimes), but help to understand the causes of the disorder. They also find techniques that will help improve the psychological state and overcome the fear of communication.

How quickly you can overcome social phobia depends on the specific case. Someone will be helped by just a couple of meetings with a psychotherapist, others will need medications. Only a doctor can find the right treatment.

Before you get to it, you can try to reduce stress with home methods Social anxiety disorder (social phobia). Diagnosis and Treatment.

  • Learn ways to deal with.
  • Be physically active and exercise regularly. Such loads help reduce anxiety.
  • Get enough sleep. Try to get at least 7-8 hours of sleep a night.
  • Watch your diet. Eat a healthy, balanced diet.
  • Avoid alcohol.
  • Limit the amount of coffee.
  • Talk to people you feel comfortable with more often. This will help you get used to the fact that social contact is safe.

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