Why we look at the world self-centered

It almost always seems to us that our contribution to the common cause is much greater than that of others. Imagine a situation: you worked on a project with colleagues and literally dragged the whole team along with you. The fact that the project was a success at all is solely your merit. Naturally, you think that every member of the team thinks the same way. But in a meeting, you might hear something very different.

Or take family life. You wash the dishes, clean up, go shopping, and your partner doesn't care about household chores. You think this is obvious. But during a quarrel, you hear that he does everything for the sake of the family, and you are a damn egoist. Which one of you is right? Chances are both of you. Because each of you is subject to a natural error of thinking - the effect of self-centeredness.

We are attached to our perception

Egocentrism is a person's inability to perceive someone else's point of view. Don't confuse it with selfishness. The egocentric does not realize that other people see the world in their own way, have their own feelings and opinions. The egoist understands this perfectly, but he does not care. Egocentrism is a natural phenomenon for children under 8-10 years of age, but for most, it goes away over time.

But there remains an egocentric distortion - one of the main traps of thinking. It is it that prompts us to ignore the point of view of other people, relying only on our own perception. As a result, we believe that others think and feel the same as we do, want the same as we do.

Due to the effect of self-centeredness, we attribute more credit to ourselves for achieving a common goal.

He makes us believe that the situation that is developing in our favor is fair. Even if we consider it wrong when it touches others. For example, when we need to share a benefit or praise, we feel like we deserve more than others. And when to share guilt or punishment, on the contrary, less than others. This cognitive bias even affects ethical judgments. Because of him, it seems to us that our selfish actions are justified.

This is due to the structure of the cognitive system

In fact, we are just processing information imperfectly. Our cognitive system is built on heuristics - simplified rules for making decisions and evaluating facts. They save brain resources and our time, but sometimes they lead to mistakes.

Most of the time, we look at the world from our own point of view. We evaluate and remember events based on it. And even realizing that we need to look at the situation through the eyes of another person, we cling to our own view of things. And this does not give an adequate assessment of the situation.

It's quicker and easier to assume that other people think about the same way we do. But this leads to erroneous judgments.

Another reason has to do with the memory device. The brain builds memories around ourselves. And if you are asked to list events over the past five years, you will quickly recall what was personally associated with you. This happens because one's own presence is always in the spotlight.

In addition, additional factors also affect: age and language proficiency. Adolescents and seniors are more likely to be egocentric than those between the ages of 18 and 60. And those who speak two languages are less than people who speak one.

This Thinking Trap Can Be Fought

Remember that it is there. You will not be able to get rid of it completely, but you can reduce its impact using several methods.

Increase self-distance

Think of the situation you are in without the pronoun I. Ask not "What should I do?", But "What should you do?" or "What should Tanya do?" This will help to distance yourself from yourself and assess the situation more objectively.

Put yourself in someone else's place

Introduce the other person's point of view or a general outside perspective. For example, if you have a falling out with a friend, try to look at the situation through his eyes and understand how he is feeling.

Consider arguments that contradict your position.

This will reduce self-obsession, and with it, the effect of self-centeredness. Let's say you adhere to some kind of political position. What are some reasons why people support opposing views? This will help you understand them better and reassess your beliefs.

Connect self-awareness

To do this, just sit in front of the mirror when making a decision. Experiments have confirmed that in this case people become less self-centered. Also, try to slow down the reasoning process and ask others for feedback. This will help you not to get hung up on your own point of view.

And accept the fact that all people are different. Others may not like what you like. They have their own opinions based on their experience and personal characteristics. They are not “wrong” or lie to you, they are just different.