How to Become a Trustworthy Person

Who is a Credible Person? It seems that there cannot be a single definition, even the concept itself is vague. But, for example, you come to the supermarket and ask in the meat section: "Girl, what's the freshest thing here?" She answers you indifferently: "Everything is the same, fresh." And after you another person comes up, asks the same question and gets the answer: "Everything is the same, but, you know, I would advise you not to take this." Or, say, you forgot your pass at the checkpoint, and they do not want to let you in, although you have been working there for 5 years already. And another person who, just like you, will say: "Guys, I forgot, damn it!" You can give endless examples. The bottom line is that there are people who for some reason inspire confidence in the majority. They don't do anything special, they don't have any high connections or super-looks. But now they have them to themselves, and that's it. Let's take a look at some of the traits that such people have, and the ways how these traits can be adopted, at least partially.

Calm, only calm

A person who inspires confidence is calm and confident. He radiates simplicity, openness, he emanates something homely, intimate. Many people believe that if you want a quick solution to a problem or valuable advice, you need to show how important this problem is to you, how worried you are, how worried you are. In extreme situations or in business, this may be so. But in everyday moments, extra nervousness often plays against us. People want to get rid of other people's problems as soon as possible, they want to answer you something like that so that you leave as soon as possible. The more nervous you are, the less willing you will be helped. Take it easy. Don't make a problem out of your little embarrassment. Imagine that you are not talking to a stranger, but to a neighbor on the site whom you have known for a hundred years. There is a fine line here: calmness is not indifference, but also not a snobbish look downward. This lack of nervousness, plus a certain amount of relaxation. This attitude always evokes a disposition. Even if you are in a hurry, do not make nervous, gusty movements. Do not fiddle with your phone, clothes, bag, or show signs of impatience. Do not speak incoherently, patter. Do not bite your lips, do not play with nodules. Your motto should be "Everything is under control", it should be read on your forehead.

Make eye contact with your interlocutor

At the very beginning of the conversation, look the person directly in the eyes. The look should not be ingratiating or, on the contrary, aggressive. The usual neutral look with a grain of interest. This is best achieved when you try to determine the color of a person's eyes.

Let's say your interlocutor has blue eyes. Now figure out a more accurate shade while continuing to communicate. During the dialogue, do not look away for a long time, but do not “press” with constant close scrutiny. The worst case scenario is a shifting gaze, which creates a feeling of nervousness and / or an inattentive listener.

Appearance

A person who inspires confidence can be dressed in fashionable, trendy, very expensive things. Or maybe in jeans, flip flops and a simple white T-shirt. The main feature is neatness. Clean hair, nails, clothes. Pleasant or neutral smell: washed body, no fumes or tobacco breath, if perfume, then not too strong. In short, no obvious sloppiness. Being next to you should be either pleasant or not at all, that is, without bright pros or cons.

Pose

Don't slouch. We recently talked about how much posture can say about a person. Stay upright when communicating. Not at attention, just straight, naturally. This significantly increases the level of trust. The second point - do not strive to take up as little space as possible, do not get crowded. A calm and self-confident person stands (or sits) as it is convenient for him, in a familiar posture. Do not touch your face too often, do not wring your fingers, do not hide your hands in your pockets, try to keep them in plain sight.

Speak When Needed

Excessive chatter and redundant information do not build trust in a stranger. Speak to the point. Better to ask questions: let the interlocutor speak more, and you listen carefully to the answers. If you suggest something, be specific and confident. "Maybe … maybe we could come to an agreement somehow, if it works out?" is a bad option. “Let's agree” is much better. If it is possible to find out a person's name (for example, from a badge), be sure to use it at key points. “Ivan Petrovich, let's come to an agreement” is a great option.

Be kind

You should not emanate vigilance, hidden or obvious threats. We are used to treating strangers with some suspicion, being on the alert, waiting for a catch. But people also treat us accordingly. If you want to inspire trust, you first need to trust the other person. It is not necessary to smile with all your mouth, although a sincere, friendly smile has never harmed anyone. Just take off the "visor" and contact openly, without preventive claims and collisions. Then the stern cashier in the window will most likely treat you like a human being and will try to help you more willingly.

There is no scary or terrible NLP or tweak here. Just an unbiased, neutral-positive attitude towards the interlocutor, even a casual one. Just respect for others, which can generate reciprocal respect for you.

- the picture is the inspiration.