How to do charity properly without falling for the tricks of scammers

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

All people want to help others, but not everyone knows how to do it. Meanwhile, a whole army of beggars of all kinds is cashing in on human kindness - from fake requests for help on social networks to professional begging in transitions. In this post, you will learn how to distinguish scammers from those who really need help.

For a long time I did not want to write this article, as I consider it immodest to talk about any charitable "successes". I am sincerely sure that if you do something good, then it should be done not for the sake of PR or promotion, but for the sake of that inner feeling of happiness that you experience when you help.

But over time, more and more people began to contact me with questions about how to recognize fraudsters in charity and where to start your charitable path.

Therefore, I decided to write an article and send everyone to it in the future. Although for me it still remains a mystery why many people, including strangers, trust me with their own and ask my advice on such an intimate matter as charity.

I want to say right away that I am not a millionaire and very often I spend only $ 20-50 a month on charity projects. Sometimes more. Sometimes I can do something good with my time and my knowledge, without spending any money at all.

After all, it is not the amount that matters - the action and motivation are important. I believe that you can help others even if you have a very modest income. To some extent, it is even better to do this when incomes are modest, because then aid has more weight. Well, you already know the mechanisms of the Universe: what you sow is what you reap.

I understand that the amounts and issues that I will cover in the article may seem insignificant to someone, but this is my experience, and I hope that it will be valuable for at least some of the readers.

I am sure that in order to start helping someone, you should not wait for ideal conditions or a lot of money, because this moment may never come. Moreover, habits, including charitable ones, must be instilled from youth.

I never planned to do charity systematically, I never planned charity events. Most often this happened somehow emotionally, impulsively, and in many cases the awareness of the act came much later than the act itself.

Therefore, there were mistakes and obvious nonsense. I want to share them with you so that you can avoid them. After all, I firmly believe that we should help those in need, and not fill the pockets of fraudsters.

Therefore, I will first share my negative experiences, and then I will talk about what worked for me.

Different types of scammers

1. Collecting money in boxes (boxed promotions)

Nowadays, very often at traffic lights, young people collect money from motorists for charitable purposes. Most often, this is the treatment of children from serious ailments.

I gave money several times, but then I started to have questions. Where does the money go and does it go to the stated goals? Why are young people involved in fundraising? Indeed, at the age of 16-22, the priorities are most often not directed at helping others.

I started to find out. It was not difficult to do this, since most often the names of the funds are written on the capes of the guys. And not very pleasant information surfaced.

Firstly, the guys who collect money most often receive their own percentage of all collected funds. Sometimes the reward can reach 20-30%. This is a bit of a frustrating moment. After all, I gave money for the treatment of the child, and not for the purchase of a new iPhone or evening beer for an unemployed student.

But this is not the saddest thing. The sad thing is that sometimes the funds declared on the T-shirts did not exist at all or they did not have the shares for which the money was collected. It was even worse when it was revealed that the money was used to buy new cars, apartments and other rubbish for the founders of the "fund" and their relatives.

You could see similar boxed promotions not only at intersections. Very often, fundraising is also carried out in retail outlets: shops, pharmacies.

And, of course, among the initiators of such actions, there are many honest funds that really did what they said. But how to unambiguously identify them in 30 seconds, standing at a traffic light or in front of the cashier, I still did not understand, so I stopped taking part in such promotions. There are other alternatives, so I don’t worry about losing anything.

By the way, I think you all know where these actions came from: in every church there is such a box for collecting donations. But in the temples, no one collects especially to help others - all the money is mainly collected for the construction of temples.

But where they are actually going, you could already understand from the expensive Mercedes cars of the “holy” fathers and their disappearing expensive watches. I don’t understand how you can give money to those who themselves do not follow what they teach other people, but that’s another story.

2. Promotions in social networks

I think each of you has seen posts on social networks more than once that "we urgently need help … details for transferring funds … thanks for the repost."

Yes, if a similar post is made by your friend and you are sure that you can help, and your friend confirms that the money will really go to a good cause, then this is a great option!

But very often there is a flurry of similar posts from strangers with very touching stories, who repost everything without even checking the information.

Have you ever tried to call the phones listed in similar posts? I think that before you repost or send money, you should not be lazy at least to do it.

Very often, on the other side of the phone, they begin to tell something not very intelligible in response to your "in-depth" questions. And sometimes it happens that in general, money is withdrawn from your phone, since it turns out that the phone you are calling on is paid.

Although this has become less common, since, probably, it creates some kind of strain for operators and service providers when complaints from those who have lost money begin to come.

Therefore, try to filter information from social networks very carefully and do not rush to send money to the details specified in the post.

Do not hesitate to call and clarify information, ask questions. In fact, I also suffered from this ailment before - I was embarrassed to ask questions. It seemed to me that it was wrong to question a person who was in trouble. I was wrong, and now I am not ashamed to do it.

If you start asking questions, it may turn out that you can help not only with money, but also in some other way. For example, you can advise a good doctor who once helped you solve similar problems. Or suggest some cheaper solution for related problems: transportation, money transfer, food, accommodation, and the like.

If, as a result of the call, you begin to feel that you are being lied to, then you can offer non-financial assistance as a check.

You just say:

I have a great doctor friend who will help you cope with your problem for less money, and I will help you pay for his services.

Very often, with these words, the conversation ends with the other party hanging up.

If a person shows interest and begins to make an appointment with you and you understand that he really needs your help, then you can simply apologize and admit that you were forced to say about the doctor because you did not trust.

After that, you can send money or provide other assistance, since at this stage you should no longer have any doubts. Of course, this does not guarantee 100% that your money will go to a good cause, but it significantly increases the chances of success.

3. Beggars on the subway, in crossings, at train stations, in restaurants

Once, when I was still a teenager, I waited for my train at the railway station. A little gypsy-looking boy came up to me, fell at my feet and began kissing my shoes, begging for alms.

It was unbearable! I didn’t give him money to help him, but only so that he would just stop doing it. But since my train was not yet soon, I had the opportunity to observe this baby.

He performed a similar operation on kissing boots several times with other people, and each time he received money. After that, the boy just went to a grocery stall (and you yourself know what the prices are for groceries at the station) and bought himself sneakers, Coca-Cola and some other sweets, ate and went on kissing his feet.

Moreover, every time he received money. In those 30 minutes that I closely watched him, he managed to raise more money than my parents gave me in those days for a whole month.

Another situation I happened relatively recently, but it was no less indicative. In winter I went to the subway (I am not a big fan of digging a car out of the snow, warming it up and other "joys" of winter driving in our latitudes, so very often in winter I go by subway). And on the subway, I saw my grandmother, who was sitting on a bench in the corner and crying. I went over and asked what had happened. My grandmother told me a very touching story that she had health problems and that they did not want to take her to the hospital without money.

The price of the issue was only $ 60, but the life of this person, in fact, depended on them. I gave her even more than she needed. I thought that it would be better for her to have extra for food and other expenses. This woman seemed to me very unhappy and sick, and I was glad that I could help her.

A couple of weeks after that, I accidentally saw this grandmother, who was walking somewhere very happy and cheerful. There was not even a shadow of those diseases on her that she told me about on the subway, and the fact that they could be cured in the hospital in such a short time was also unrealistic.

I realized that I had been deceived, and began to take a deeper interest in the issue. I learned that very often whole systemic groups of beggars, grandmothers, cripples and children are hunted in the metro.

Moreover, I myself know that I need to ask more questions, communicate more, but in this case, the story hooked me with my grandmother, and I lost my rational component, which, as a result, helped the scammers.

I also have a negative attitude towards young people who go to restaurants and other public catering and ask for money. There is a very subtle psychological moment in this that people can fall for.

For example, you just started dating a girl and came to some restaurant or fast food to have a snack with her. And then a guy comes up to you, a little dirty, and asks for money for food. A girl is looking at you, and you, of course, want to appear in a positive light (well, so the alpha male) and give money. I have seen this more than once.

But if you ask the beggars: “Why won't you find a job for yourself? You are young and strong, "then they always have a prepared answer like:" I don't have a passport "," I'm collecting money for a ticket home "and the like.

But more often than not, this is a lie. I tried to offer these guys a job without a passport and other documents - they immediately stop asking and leave.

And a special class of beggars - those who ask for tickets at train stations and bus stations. Of course, there are indeed people among them who need help, and I was able to find such people.

But very often, even if you buy tickets for a person and give them directly into your hands, you will be able to meet him asking at the same place after the departure date of the train …

4. Disabled and crippled people who demonstrate their "defects"

You can't give money to them at all. Believe me, there are only professionals. No matter how much I communicated with them, I did not find a single one who would be standing somewhere in a crowded place and was not a systemic beggar.

Moreover, the demonstration of their injuries in an open form in itself requires some kind of psychological shifts … It is very unpleasant to look at this, but it is not worth it.

5. Begging mothers with young children

Have you ever noticed that babies in the arms of begging mothers never cry? I am a father myself and I remember very well the first two years of my child's life and those rare moments when he was calm during the day and gave his parents a rest.

And here, no matter how you walk, in the same place sits a woman with a child 1-3 years old, and he sleeps or is in some strange state like a trance.

You can look for more information on this issue. I was interested, and it turned out that most often the child is under the influence of drugs.

If everyone stops giving money to such mothers, then there is a hope that the children will stop pumping up. If you saw a mother whom you really want to help, you can always talk to her, find out more information …

Conclusions on everything that didn't work:

1. If people are unfamiliar, then do not be lazy to check the information, ask additional questions, call.
2. If a person asks on the street, especially in a crowded place, then beware: most often they are professional beggars.
3. Do not support people who commit unethical acts, as in the example of a mother with a small child drugged with drugs.

I am sure that in the comments you will be able to supplement my words with your negative charitable cases. But do not forget that I brought them only to help you recognize fraudsters, and not to prove that all those who ask are fraudulent.

Very often, among these needy people there are really honest people who need help, it is simply difficult to identify them, but it is possible. Now I will share those cases that worked for me.

People who need help

1. Pensioners

I have a little fad about retirees, since I help them most often. Probably, this happened because most of my holidays I spent in the village with my grandparents. I will never forget their kindness, care and great cakes.

I think it's not even worth saying that life is extremely difficult for pensioners. If you try to live on the pensions that pensioners in Russia, Ukraine and other post-Soviet countries have, you will understand how hard it is. A rare exception, probably, are residents of Belarus, since everyone I meet from there tells me incredible stories about high pensions. But I myself have not been to Belarus yet, so I cannot confirm it from my own experience. Maybe someone from Belarus will be able to tell in the comments.

There are two special groups of retirees who need help:

• lonely, especially if the pensioner lives alone;
• pensioners with problem children: alcoholics, drug addicts and so on.

Pensioners with problem children most often need not financial assistance, but psychological assistance, as well as assistance in resolving problems.

But I have no personal positive experience, since it is difficult for a person from the street to influence relationships that have developed over a long period of time.

I myself have seen several cases when pensioners were even beaten by their children and taken away their entire pension. Stories about the seizure of apartments, I am sure, are not news to you either.

By the way, I am sure that this is a great area for lawyers - free legal assistance to retirees in real estate matters. Because most often there is no one to defend them in these matters. Yes, I know that this is a function of the state, but you yourself understand …

But you can very simply help a lonely couple of pensioners or one pensioner. You can even make it your own good habit.

It is very easy to identify these grandparents. Most often they wear very old clothes, but they try to keep track of them: they sew many times, make patches and the like. It is very difficult for these people to ask, and more often than not, they do not. They just survive as best they can and save on everything. And we can help them.

Simple examples from my experience:

1. Once at the pharmacy, I met a grandmother who simply did not have enough money to buy medicine. I stood behind her in line. She didn’t ask, she didn’t beg. She simply dropped her head and arms and all drooped toward the exit. I paid for all her medications and gave her money. I understand that this is not much, but this is the simple thing that I was able to do then. And I am sure that if at least a couple more people do this, then the life of this grandmother will become a little easier.

2. I used to buy tomatoes at the bazaar, a lot of tomatoes. And grandmother stood nearby and in a box with crushed tomatoes (those that were cheaper) chose one (!!!). She got ONE tomato!

I asked why she took only one. She honestly answered me that she had no money for more. She didn’t lie or ask, she didn’t play. She was honest with me, and I somehow felt it.

I told her to get herself as much food as she saw fit, and that I would pay for all of them. And for the first time I saw genuine fear. She was afraid of me, afraid that I would deceive or ridicule her.

She was so scared that she took another tomato (!!!). I cannot tell you what happened inside me. It was like a bomb that exploded my entire value system.

I am young, I do all sorts of technical things, I launch projects, and here there is ALSO a MAN standing next to me, and she is simply afraid that I might refuse her purchase of more than one tomato.

I go to restaurants, and a woman who has worked all her life (and this is always clearly seen in the hands of retirees in her palms and posture) cannot afford to buy food.

I bought her as many groceries as fit in her cart, and I also gave money. But there was another important moment in this story.

Tomatoes that day were sold in the bazaar only by one woman who had a very bad reputation: she hung around and cheated, was always displeased and constantly grumbled.

Well, you yourself know how it happens in bazaars not far from home: when you constantly buy, you already know everyone and try not to take anything from some. So this saleswoman was one of those "some".

But since only she had tomatoes that day, and her wife said that she needed to buy a lot, this whole situation happened at the point of sale of this would-be saleswoman.

And you won't believe it. All the products that I bought for my grandmother, this saleswoman counted me with a huge discount (some up to 30-40%). Imagine the collapse of all my templates from this situation.

First, a grandmother with two tomatoes, then a person with a negative reputation does an incredible thing, and I didn't even ask.

Many people want to help, but they just don't know how.

But you can help pensioners not only at the pharmacy or at the bazaar. For example, I just go up, ask about life and give at least a little money.

And very often their reaction shocks me. Sometimes they start crying. Sometimes they fall to their knees or begin to pray to God for me … I do not ask this and I always stop them.

I’m not helping them for this. I just want their life to be a little easier, because I always imagine my beloved grandparents in their place. And I do not want to imagine their life in such a need.

I emphasize again that I am not giving these examples in order to present myself in a good light or to gain positive comments in my address. I just want to show that helping someone in need is very easy. Especially if it is a pensioner.

Yes, you may find it difficult to give money to someone who does not ask you to. At least it was very difficult for me to do it the first time.

There are also peculiarities in communicating with these people: they do not expect anything from you, and in young people they see more danger than possible help. Therefore, sometimes they can get away from talking to you.

But you don't have to worry if you fail. There will always be a second chance, third, fourth … By the way, some may refuse you, because many of them have a very strong moral education and simply cannot take someone else's.

Take a closer look, perhaps lonely retirees live next to you. Or you can find them in the market, shop or pharmacy. This is a great chance to do something really kind.

2. Participation in useful projects, volunteering

Charity is not only charitable foundations, because there are a very large number of other organizations that make people's lives better.

For example, I joined the International Rescue Service and I try in every possible way to help this organization, as I made sure that they really work for people, they do it of their own free will and for free.

There may be many useful organizations near you that need volunteers who are ready to devote a couple of hours of their time to a good cause. It is also charity.

So even if you have no free money at all, you can still do a lot of good things. You just have to find the direction that you like the most and act!

3. Assistance to government organizations

A controversial direction, since no one wants to help state institutions, because they know that the work there is ineffective and they steal a lot. But our task is not to criticize the system, but to help SPECIFIC PEOPLE.

I'll give you a simple example. In one hospice for cancer patients, the nursing call system broke down. Imagine a patient with advanced cancer who, for example, is running out of pain medication and cannot call a nurse …

Many of these patients have difficulty moving, some cannot even speak. Of course, we can say that the state should attend to this problem. But the most important question is, should the people who are in the hospice suffer before everything is corrected? I think not.

For this case, my friends and I came up with a simple solution: we bought a restaurant system for calling waiters. You know, these are wireless buttons, which are usually found on the table in a restaurant and with which they call the waiters.

We attached straps to these buttons and distributed them to hospice patients. They hung them around their necks, and when a problem arose, they could always call a nurse.

The company that sold this system to us made an incredible discount and sold it at no extra charge. This once again confirms my thesis that people want to help other people, but do not know how.

And if you can come up with a simple idea or a simple tool, then many will participate. The most important thing in this example is that we helped specific patients who needed help, and did not wait for the state to solve this problem. But it was easier to criticize officials, right?

There are a lot of government agencies that you can help. I think you can see for yourself how ineffective this system works. If you help her become a little better, many people will feel a little better.

This is where my experience is over. I understand that it does not even cover one hundredth of all possible options for how we can make the world a better place. Therefore, I ask you to share your experience in the comments on how you can create good in a simple and effective way.

Finally, a few questions to help you get started:

1. What if I buy an iPhone 6 not now, but in a few months, when it costs $ 100 cheaper, and I spend that $ 100 on charity?
2. Maybe I should not go to a restaurant once a month and give the saved money to a lonely pensioner?
3. Maybe I should share my surplus food with a pensioner who lives in my apartment block?
4. What good can I do tomorrow?
5. How can I make someone's life better?

Thank you for reading such a long article. I would be grateful for your point of view in the comments.