What is overprotection and why is it harmful

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Some parents do not give their children a single second of peace - they interfere in the life of the child, trying to take control of everything. This approach does not lead to anything good. The life hacker understands what overprotection is and why it harms both children and parents.

What is overprotection?

Overprotection is an excessive care of children, manifested in the desire of parents to surround the child with increased attention, to protect him even in the absence of danger, to constantly keep him near him, to force him to act in a certain, safest way for the parents.

So taking care of your children is bad?

No no. There is nothing wrong with caring for and paying attention to children. However, there is always a thin line that separates caring and overprotectiveness. It is the second one that should be feared.

One of the key life skills that children must develop is the ability to live without us.

What does overprotection lead to?

If relatives seek to protect a child or adolescent from making independent decisions, then this leads to big problems.

Damage to the child's psyche

If parents tend to take on all day-to-day tasks - wake up, drive, remind of deadlines and responsibilities, pay bills, ask questions, make decisions, take responsibility, communicate with strangers, and interact with authorities - the child can experience quite a shock. when at university or at work the leash disappears. Failures await him, and he will perceive them as defeat.

Lack of skills

An ideally healthy-looking, but overly patronized child enters a university and cannot cope with new situations: to establish relations with a roommate and with a teacher who asks to redo the work, choose between a summer seminar and a community project. It can be really difficult for him to deal with contradictions, uncertainties, resentment and the need to make decisions.

Career problems

Employers need people who have everything they need to cope with the situation - which means you have to act on your own. If a young employee needs to bring their parents in to discuss common employment issues, this can be a red flag that cannot be gotten rid of.

How then to bring up children correctly?

You cannot give another person life skills. Everyone must acquire them independently, by their own labor. If we don't prepare our children - and ourselves - for the inevitable moment when they have to take care of themselves, we will all have a hard awakening.

Parents can help, but not by always being ready to do everything or giving advice over the phone, but by getting out of the way and letting the child figure it out on their own.

Where can I find out more about hyperprotection?

The publishing house MYTH has published a book "Let Them Go", which tells about how to change the attitude towards children, stop taking care of them too much and prepare them for an independent life. The book can be bought on the publisher's website.

This week our friends from the publishing house "MIF" are celebrating their twelfth anniversary. In honor of such an event, they prepared a gift: until July 2, discounts up to 50% are valid for all children's books and comics. For Lifehacker readers - an additional bonus: with the LH_MIF promo code, you will receive an additional 10% discount on all books (electronic and paper). The promo code is valid until July 9, 23:59. The discount is cumulative with other discounts on the site.