25 excuses that keep you from being happy

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Do you feel like something is holding you back from being happy? Do you often say “no” when you really really want to say “yes”? Do you give up opportunities when you have to grab them with both hands? You pretend not to notice how the most cherished dreams languish in the corner, having lost all hope of being fulfilled.

Over the years, unbeknownst to you, beliefs have grown in consciousness that are now taken for granted and severely limit your growth opportunities. These beliefs will come up every time as excuses for why you can't start doing something that really matters to you. The only way to overcome your consciousness is to have a frank conversation with yourself and understand what excuses you must urgently give up in order to move on.

1. It's too late

You grow up and see how people achieve certain things at about the same age: they graduate from school, college, get a good job, start getting enough money, get married, have children, and so on. These observations set certain attitudes in your brain: what achievement or deed should correspond to what age. And if you are progressing along this path more slowly than others, it seems like a deviation from the norm and keeps you from those things that you really want to do right now.

Alternative: Now is the time to start

You don't need to build your life on the basis of these, in general, unfounded beliefs about what to do and at what time. This is your life - your desires and your events. And only you yourself can decide in what order these events should occur, and age has nothing to do with it.

2. I have no time

Excuse me, everyone has the same number of hours in a day - 24. But why do some manage to redo a bunch of things during this time, while others do not have enough time?

Alternative: I need to properly manage my time

Become aware of how you are using your time, and ruthlessly cut out those activities for which you do not need to spend it. Prioritize, schedule, and delegate if possible. Emphasize the quality of the work done, not the quantity.

3. I'm unpretentious and boring

Boring or interesting is a matter of opinion and choice. Each of us is given a stage and some props. And the only difference is how you interpret your role and play it.

Alternative: I am in charge of writing my life story myself

Just choose not to be boring anymore and take action. First, decide what you mean by “interesting person”. And every time you feel that you are "sour", take a step towards your definition of an interesting personality.

4. I don't deserve it

There are two options here: either you think that you are unworthy of something beautiful - love, success, respect, or you think that too many life difficulties are falling on you. In either case, these thoughts slow you down on the path to happiness.

Alternative: I have many options before me

If you catch yourself thinking "Why me?" (it doesn't matter if we are talking about problems or, on the contrary, about great success), ask: "Why not me?" We are all equal, and we all have their own successes and their own problems. There are no higher powers that generously weigh out only good things to someone, and pour all troubles and misfortunes to another. Learn to accept with grace both all the good and all the bad things that life brings you.

5. I am responsible for the first / fifth / tenth, and therefore there is no time left for myself

This excuse is especially common among young parents. But remember that by dedicating yourself to others, you will not make anyone happy. You have to live at full capacity.

Alternative: I am a priority for myself

Take time to get enough sleep, eat right, exercise, and recuperate. And this is not selfishness, but simply an increased level of care. And when you are in great shape and good spirits, you will be able to help the loved ones around you much better.

6. Nobody understands me

Each of us has our own life and everyone has something to worry about, everyone is busy with their own affairs. At the end of the day, few have the time and energy to delve into someone else's problems. But if you really need someone to be imbued with your difficulties and worries, then you need to help the listener to do this.

Alternative: I must communicate my thoughts clearly and act accordingly

Stop beating around the bush and giving hints. Explain clearly and clearly what is bothering you. And by the way, remember that no one is obliged to agree with you and understand you all the time.

7. No one bothers what worries me

Can you imagine what it would be like if everyone had a similar point of view? Yes, we would never have charitable organizations, fuel-efficient cars, health achievements, peacekeepers …

Alternative: I care about this because it matters

Take a strong position. As you take care of something, even if it's personal, find compelling reasons why you do it and help others understand why it matters.

8. I'm not very smart

This conviction begins to grow little by little. You do something, get stuck or fail altogether, and think: "Yes, I am, it turns out, stupid!" Unfortunately, over the years this belief is often only strengthened, because learning new things is always difficult.

Alternative: It's time to practice

When you catch yourself thinking that you are underestimating your intelligence again, stop. Identify one area (small) where your lack of knowledge makes you feel stupid, and spend some time and energy exploring it. Build up your confidence that you can learn something if you want to. Then take the next small step. Let us repeat that you do not need to immediately take on global volumes: the more you learn, the stronger will be the confidence that you are still a smart enough person.

9. My parents are responsible for what I have become

Stop stop stop! This excuse is long over! Yes, parents have a responsibility to help start your life story. But how it develops in the future depends only on your actions and decisions.

Alternative: I am in complete control of my life now

Let your past benefit you, not anger. You will not be able to go back and change everything, but now you can change anything so that further life develops the way you need it.

10. I lack discipline and drive

Where did this conviction come from? Chances are, you were forced to do something that did not inspire you, and you failed. And every time you do something uninteresting, you fail again. What can be said in justification? "I lack discipline."

Alternative: I have to figure out how to motivate myself

Instead of forcing yourself to do things that you don't like, try to fool yourself and develop habits that will make it easier to do routine tasks and achieve the desired result. By the way, research has shown that willpower is a limited and non-renewable resource, and for everyone, not just you. Disciplined people are those who have been able to replace the method of brutally coercing oneself with subtle motivation and habits.

11. I'm not made for long-term relationships

How many times have you heard or said this? You may be afraid of becoming vulnerable or losing control of your life. Maybe worry about your ability to remain faithful and loyal. Or, on the contrary, you are paranoid that they will betray you. Everyone has their own fears to some extent. So ask yourself: why, instead of facing my fears and overcoming them, do I turn them into excuses and do nothing?

Alternative: I have a relationship and am willing to deal with my fears

First, admit that you are scared and worried. But everyone (at least many) is as frightened and anxious as you are. Take a firm stand and deal with your fears, rather than running away from them. Of course, as with everything in life, in this case some will have to spend more effort and energy than others.

12. Now is not the time

Very busy? Just got a promotion and want to pursue a career exclusively? Have you recently ended your relationship and are now suffering? But life gives us opportunities without picking up a convenient moment when you will be fully prepared for it. Take it now or lose it.

Alternative: just in time

Imagine that you are already old, very old and are preparing to go to another world. Will you feel bitter regret for burying the opportunities that you had so easily? Remember that any opportunity that forces you to grow and develop involves leaving your “comfort zone”, which means that it will never appear at the “right time”.

13. Too much work

Love, fulfillment of desires, small victories - all this brings so much joy, happiness and brightness to our life. But why do you think that all this should come easy for you? Why are you sure it just has to fall on you? Why should nice things come to you without hard work?

Alternative: I'm willing to work hard

Remember, success is hard work above all else. Do your best and then you will reap the rewards of your labors.

14. This person looks too much like someone who has hurt me a lot in the past

No two people are exactly alike. Besides, you yourself have changed. And if a new person in character or actions resembles the one who hurt you in the past, this does not mean at all that a similar situation will happen again now.

Alternative: I will not judge a person based on the behavior and actions of anyone else

Know and be aware, but keep your heart open. If you catch yourself thinking that you are spoiling your communication with a person due to the fact that someone similar has done something or has not done something in the past, stop yourself. If a new friend or partner makes the same mistakes as the person who offended you, gently try to steer their actions in the right direction. Live in the present and let your current judgment guide your decisions.

15. I do something that I hate so as not to upset my loved ones

Any relationship should be empowering, not haunted. Do not use them as an excuse for continuing to do something that makes you suffer continually and for not doing what you really should be doing.

Alternative: it's time to talk frankly

Remember that by using this excuse, you are cheapening your relationship with your loved one. You rob them of their honesty. If you really don't like doing something, find a way to fix the problem. If a solution is not found, think about whether everything is all right with you. Long-term suffering and sacrifice can never be part of a healthy relationship.

16. My parent / friend / family member makes me show my worst qualities

Seriously? Decided to just blame someone else like that ?! Remember: you and only you are responsible for your actions. Do not use any relationship as an excuse for the manifestation of weakness and negative character traits.

Alternative: I myself allow the worst traits of my character to manifest

Your behavior is your responsibility. Yes, you will show your bad qualities if you allow yourself to do so.

17. I'm so unlucky …

Small people believe in luck, strong people believe in cause and effect. What kind of person do you want to be?

Alternative: I create my own luck

Become the creator of your destiny. Yes, failures do happen, but this is not a reason to refuse to try something new and waste away at the threat of failure. Get up and act, regardless of whether lady luck turns to face you or elsewhere.

18. I'm waiting for a turning point in my life or I'm not ready yet

These two excuses, in fact, are based on the same problems: fear of starting something new, lethargy and unwillingness to change something. Undoubtedly, life fractures help a lot to start moving, but you should not count on them, because you can wait a very long time. Of course, changes should be planned and prepared (for example, learning something new), but there is a danger that you will spend too much time in the preparatory period.

Alternative: I am ready right now as well as at any other moment

Just start and everything will fall into place. In addition, when you embark on something new, this may be the beginning of that “big life turn”. Waiting and planning will never give you data on what really works and what doesn't. You need to start, and then calculate each step.

19. Everything has already been invented and done before me, there is nothing to try

Indeed, with very few exceptions, everything has already been done. But you can use an unoriginal idea and fill it with personality and uniqueness inherent only to you. Are you ready to do this?

Alternative: by passing an ordinary thing through the prism of my personality, I can give it great value

Just decide to be yourself and do things the way you want them to look perfect. Do you want to make a website for parents? But there are already a million such projects! Make one that will be interesting for you in everything. Write about what worries you personally. And surely you will find followers.

20. I'm a loser

If someone claims that he has never failed in his life, then this is either the happiest person on earth, or someone who has not done anything special or tried, so as not to run even the smallest risk of failure. And since the first is very unlikely - well, there are no absolutely happy people on Earth, therefore, the second is true. Would you like to live a life like this? Don't try anything and take no action?

Alternative: I'm willing to fail and learn from this example

Failure is normal. Look them in the face - it's just another fear. Get over it by trying something new. Will you let a few setbacks lead you astray? Of course, it's scary to endure ups and downs, to rise and start all over again, but this is life: trial and error, change and growth.

21. I'm too scared

Congratulations! You are a normal, adequate person. Even the most seemingly brave people are afraid of something. The difference between strong and courageous people and weaklings is that they do not allow their fears to turn into excuses.

Alternative: this fear means that I am human

If you live a busy life, fear will always be your companion. It is designed to protect you from dangers and serious mistakes. You just don’t have to dwell on the little alerts it sends you. What needs to be done is to soberly assess the situation and assess the risks before moving one step forward.

22. I can never do it perfectly, so why try?

Perfection is meticulous and detailed work. But if the fear of not getting the job done perfectly keeps you from starting it, then there is reason to think seriously. Sometimes perfection is bad for you.

Alternative: the best is the enemy of the good

Your perfectionism should be focused on the process, not the end result. Start doing something, but set a deadline when your work will be publicly displayed. Yes, you need to try to do your job very well, but you don't need to get hung up on doing everything perfectly right. You will never end this way.

23. I will never achieve the same success as anyone else, so why bother trying

Well, how do you know that? Seriously, no matter how cool that someone is, how can you be sure you can't beat him? And in general, why compare your achievements with others? Try to break your own records.

Alternative: I only compete with myself

Stop comparing yourself to others. The only comparison that makes sense is: have I become better than myself today? The rest is a waste of time and effort.

24. My parents / loved one / children will not support me

If you do not have the support of loved ones, thank your lucky star for this. You got a unique opportunity to test your ideas (and possibly unsuccessful ones), involving in this process the minimum number of people on whose opinion you should rely. Will you try to make the most of this opportunity, or will you use it as an excuse?

Alternative: how can I win?

Take this situation as a personal challenge. What can you do to convince the parents / loved one / children that you are right? Listen to every argument of your "opposition" and develop. Benefit from this situation for yourself.

25. I can't

Henry Ford said: "Whether you think you can accomplish something, or you are sure you cannot, in both cases you are right." You are in control of yourself.

Alternative: I can and will start doing it right now

Everything is only in our thoughts. If Helen Keller, Mahatma Gandhi, Beethoven, Thomas Edison, Mother Teresa, Michael Phelps and many others were able to change history, why can't you? Answer: you can! If you are willing to spend time and effort to overcome the barriers that stand in front of you.

And how do you like this list? While reading it, you probably nodded your head, sighed and wrinkled your forehead, recognizing yourself and your excuses in some points. So what do you do? Take action now. After all, now you know what prevents you from becoming truly happy and how to deal with it.

By the way, what excuses were closest to you?