How to invite your partner to take an HIV test

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

December 1 is World AIDS Day. Use this as an excuse to check your health.

Find out the person's opinion on the problem

Before you start talking about testing your HIV status, find out from your partner what he thinks about the disease at all. If you happen to run into a dissident who denies the existence of a virus in principle, you have to think twice: is it worth persuading him or is it better to end the relationship altogether?

If you are close enough to ask a direct question, then this is much easier. But be careful: such conversations are still a delicate topic for many.

Invite your significant other to read an article, discuss statistics, or share your opinion. Let it be as if spontaneously, as if you just thought about it, accidentally saw the news on the Internet, and did not hatch the idea of a conversation for several days. And then move on to the point: "Maybe we should get tested too?"

Offer to get tested together

If you want to convince your boyfriend or girlfriend to show you the certificate, be prepared to get tested yourself. Do not try to say: “What am I? And so it is clear that everything is fine with me "," You often get sick "or" You had more sexual partners. " It's just low.

Say that it would be nice to have your health checked, and gently invite you to join you. A joint trip to the blood donation center can become a kind of date, and the partner will not be offended, but will feel your care.

A common reason for rejection is fear of finding out your results. But if you check together, then your partner will surely have more confidence.

Tell us about your experience

If you're worried that your partner will not agree to go with you, set an example: state your plans to get tested before starting a conversation. Show that you are really interested in your health and there is nothing wrong with this procedure.

If you donated blood recently, tell us how it happened and offer your support. If more than a year has passed since then, nothing prevents you from taking the tests again.

Make sure trust has nothing to do with it

In response to the offer to find out your HIV status, you may hear the question: "Do you not trust me?" Your partner may feel that you doubt his love, purity and devotion, once you have touched on this topic. Your task is to convince him that it is not a matter of distrust, but of concern for your future.

The presence of HIV in one partner and the absence of another is not an obstacle to a happy and long life, since there are working regimens for antiretroviral therapy and prevention of infection. The therapy allows you to prolong life, improve its quality and give birth to healthy children.

Elena Tsyplukhina leading expert of the Center for Molecular Diagnostics (CMD), Central Research Institute of Epidemiology, Rospotrebnadzor

Taking care of your health is a reasonable desire. You cannot force anyone to take tests, but you can not put yourself in danger and refuse risky relationships. Well, if with the help of help you want to check your soul mate for cheating, perhaps it's time for you to seriously think about your values.

Explain that HIV is not always about sex

“I had no one before you” or “I don’t sleep with anyone but you” are nice arguments, but they do not give any guarantees. Yes, in most cases, HIV infection occurs through intercourse, but not always. HIV can be contracted in a hospital, tattoo parlor, or from a manicurist through non-sterile objects, although this is rare. People who use intravenous drugs are also at risk.

Symptoms of HIV may not appear for years and may have nothing to do with other illnesses. Therefore, the absence of sexually transmitted diseases in your partner does not mean anything.

Tell us about the safety of the procedure

Some people are reluctant to check their HIV status because they fear publicity, other people's condemnation, or the reliability of the results themselves. Because of fear, a person prefers to remain in the dark, just not to live under the scrutiny of doctors and not be addicted to drugs.

Try to convey to your partner that five important principles must always be followed when taking the test and after receiving the results:

1. The test is not done without voluntary consent. You can refuse at any time.

2. The person who passed the test and received the results is provided with complete anonymity. Doctors have no right to divulge information about the disease, even to your loved ones. You should only warn you about your HIV-positive status if you risk infecting someone else.

3. Before passing the test, a person is required to devote to all questions regarding the procedure, its results and further actions.

4. The results must be confirmed definitively. In case of an unconfirmed diagnosis or doubt, the study is repeated.

5. Treatment, which is free of charge for every person with HIV, also cannot be compulsory.

Do not manipulate or be manipulated

You have no right to force your partner to take the test. No blackmail, no break-up threats. But your half should also take into account your rights and desires.

Don't let yourself be tempted into unprotected sex. Even if you've already had contact without a condom, you might not get infected. And again, it is definitely not worth putting yourself in danger.

The likelihood of contracting HIV infection with a single contact is quite small, but it is there. Of course, the number of unprotected intercourse increases the likelihood of infection. If an infection has occurred, it is better to know about it and understand what steps to take to start treatment on time.

Elena Tsyplukhina

If, in return for agreeing to get tested, your partner suggests always using condoms, that's good. But you should know that they only protect from the virus by 85%, as they can tear or fly off if the size is chosen incorrectly.

Whether your partner is tested or not is his choice. Accept it or not - the choice is yours.