5 steps to fight jealousy

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Unless you are Warren Buffett or Usain Bolt, there is always someone in the world richer, faster, stronger and more successful than you. Whatever business, project or idea you develop, there will be someone who does it better. And, willingly or unwillingly, you will look at your competitor or rival with an envious sigh. The entire modern culture of consumption and the life of society as a whole is imbued with the spirit of competition: “Faster, higher, stronger” is no longer about sports. This is about money, power, a beautiful and expensive car (albeit often bought on credit, but just to “rip off” the eyes of neighbors), about a bigger house in nature, about a business card and a higher position (although sometimes work in a large corporation is the greatest evil that you will face in your life).

A person is an ambitious animal that is not used to retreating, and therefore one wants to be better, more successful, get ahead, catch up, overtake, succeed … Envy imperceptibly becomes an indispensable part of our worldview., although it poisons our lives, often interfering with normal friendships, business and family relations. How to deal with it?

To start: envy comes from the habit of comparing yourself to others (although this often not only does not help, but even harms the advancement both in life and in the career ladder). Quitting this habit isn't easy, but there are at least 5 steps you can take to curb and control jealousy.

1. Admit to yourself that you tend to be jealous. Accepting that feelings of envy are not alien to you means that you are able to admit your own weakness and insecurity in some cases, as well as the hostility that appears towards those whom you envy. A person cannot imagine himself to be a superman if he is mentally normal; which means that weakness and insecurity are as natural parts of your “I” as other character traits and personal qualities.

2. Understand that pride is just the flip side of envy.… If your colleague has a better car than yours, but at the same time you are more beautiful than he (or she) - this is only the first step to future envy. Sooner or later, you will have a person at work with a more expensive car and a more attractive appearance than you and your “loser” colleague. And then you will become a failure, and envy will give itself free rein.

You should not be proud of the fact that arose only as a result of successful life circumstances or good heredity.

Understand that most of the things or personal qualities that you are proud of are only temporary, and there will always be someone who is better than you in these parameters.

3. Replace envy with the ability to look at someone else's success from different angles and empathize with it. You will never know for sure at what cost money, fame, appearance, a happy (at first glance) family or a brilliant career were given to your acquaintances or even strangers, but famous people.

Sometimes on the way to success or happiness, which everyone envies, there are huge sacrifices, mistakes, big and small tragedies. Having understood this, you will understand that there is nothing to envy: who knows, you may not have had a tenth of those troubles and trials that these "successful" people had.

Do you want such fame, success and wealth at such a price?

4. Make envy the fuel for self-improvement, if possible. Yes, sometimes envy cannot change our difficult past, difficult childhood, tragic events in the recent or distant past, lack of money or bad parents. But you should not endlessly delve into these reasons, reveling in self-pity, lamenting fate and continuing to envy someone who has everything better than yours - and at the same time do nothing, just sit back.

Are you unhappy with your job, lifestyle, relationships, or material well-being? Just get up and do something to break the prevailing way of life!

5. Do not forget about the feeling of gratitude and the ability to enjoy your success. This does not mean that you need to count with a calculator whether you have made more successful deeds and changes than a colleague or neighbor. Just remember that every small victory is your personal big success and an important event in your life.