How to get rid of jealousy and fear of loss?

Modern society teaches us to consume and have as much as possible. This attitude is projected not only on things, most of which we do not need, but also on non-material spheres. Habit is habit. If you have learned to take everything for yourself, emotions, memories, thoughts and relationships will gather dust in your chest.

The book by Erich Fromm, a German philosopher and sociologist of the 20th century, explores this problem in detail in modern society, which, in the pursuit of possession, has forgotten what it is to live.

Becoming a habit, the thirst for possession penetrates into all areas of life and poisons them with the fear of loss. But there is another extreme: a person does not try to appropriate anything. The differences between them are colossal.

Education

The position in life, in which the main thing is to seize and appropriate everything for oneself, is visible even in training. The possession-oriented student will carefully note down everything the lecturer says, without delving into it or being interested. Then he will cram his notes to pass the exam, and will not even think about why he needs it.

A student accustomed to living in the present will not take notes on what he does not need, but will actively participate in discussions and try to understand the material that will interest him.

Work

How many people do the jobs they hate? The topic is painful and worn out. Everyone knows that you have to love your job, but no one really cares about it, if you had money.

The acquisition-oriented person does not think about the present moment. He can be bored all his life in a terrible job, spoil his nerves and constantly buy what is supposed to have.

In addition, people who want to have, rarely change their place of employment and do not try themselves in another field. A person is very afraid of losing position, money and comfort, because he begins to personify himself with them. “Who am I without my home and position?” He thinks, and fear slows down changes for the better.

A person living in the present will not be able to work in a job they do not like. NOW he feels bad. And it doesn't matter how many beautiful furniture and status items he can buy at the end of the month. Such people only take on what fascinates them. It's not so hard to find such a thing if you set a goal.

Entertainment

Going on vacation, everyone takes cameras or telephones with a camera with them. It doesn't matter where the trip will be, to a nearby forest, to a popular resort or to the palaces of Mesoamerica. At concerts, the crowd raises their smartphones over their heads to film what is happening on stage.

You can come to the sea and take a thousand pictures of the sunset, but through the camera lens you will not see its real beauty. You will have some cool Instagram photos, but not live admiration. This is best seen in historic sites, as an ecstatic crowd of tourists wander between the landmarks with cameras glued to their faces.

We get really deep emotions when we concentrate on the object (music and the manner of performance of our favorite band) or in its entirety perceive a sunset at sea, a colorful exotic show, something else beautiful. If you get distracted by shooting or looking into the lens, the moment will be lost.

Then you will show the photos and videos to your friends, but you were not looking for new impressions for this.

Communication and relationships

What is jealousy? This is the fear of losing a person, which is possible only if he is yours. How much drama happens just because people think of each other as things that may belong to someone. The one who lives in the moment respects the other person, enjoys him and does not demand anything.

Having assigned someone, you begin to change it, redo it for your convenience.

People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. But our world is engulfed in chaos … Because they love things, and people are used. Dalai lama

How often do you visit those with whom communication has exhausted itself? Many live together for years, experiencing suffering and pain, but at the same time they cannot separate, because they belong to each other.

It turns out that you are simply using a person, no matter what kind of love is said at this time. But things get boring, and with that attitude, there are many more dramas ahead.

What to do to "be"?

Perception will not change overnight, but there is one thought that can help: all people are mortal, and, as Bulgakov wrote, they are suddenly mortal.

If you just imagine that your life span is limited to two weeks or a month, what would you do? Go to your work; would communicate with the people with whom you are in contact now; buy the things you dream of today?

After all, to live without the pursuit of property in any sphere means to dive deeply into every moment, to exist in the present, and not in the future, which may not come.