How to unlearn comparing yourself to other people

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Comparing yourself to other people doesn't get you anything good. If you win in comparison - you feel superior and judge other people, if other people win - self-esteem decreases. How to unlearn comparing yourself with other people and live without this headache?

We constantly compare ourselves with those around us, and draw conclusions: either we want to do what they do, or we condemn them and feel superior. But the feeling of superiority is not happiness, and it in no way leads to it. At the same time, comparison has already become so ingrained in our way of thinking that it will not be possible to get rid of it just like that. You will have to track your impulses to compare yourself with another person and stop yourself. Read on for reasons to think seriously about it and two good habits to stop the everlasting comparison.

Before talking about new habits that would be nice to start, you need to understand why to start them. Here are some examples of how people spoil their mood by comparing - consciously or not - themselves and other people. Often even strangers.

Social media profiles

People post photos of the most successful and happy moments of their lives on social networks. You will not see pictures with the caption "We are fighting a terrible fight and I crash my iPhone", "I am depressed" or "I did not pass the interview and decided to get drunk with grief in the nearest bar."

In general, there are only good moments: fun on the beach, a gorgeous dinner, yoga classes, a run or time after a run, a party, etc. One gets the impression that a person has a very rich and vibrant life.

If you often hang out on social networks, watching all the funny moments from the life of friends and acquaintances, you may experience an uncontrollable drop in self-esteem. Why don't I go to restaurants that serve such beautiful food? Why am I not traveling, not doing sports, and my body is not so beautiful?

You are comparing moments in your life to someone else's, but why? Should they be better? Does happiness depend on whether the moments of your life look better or worse?

No, happiness depends on accepting the present moment, not wanting to do what the other person is doing. Basically, we don't need to be better than someone to be happy - we need to accept where we are, what we do, and who we are.

Comparison does not add to our happiness, on the contrary, it makes us jealous, angry with ourselves and dreaming about what we do not need.

Condemnation or understanding

People love to judge others to one degree or another. People who go in for sports and are not overweight look with condemnation at overweight people who eat at McDonald's and cannot go up to the third floor without an elevator. People with stable earnings condemn those who have to borrow money from time to time.

Especially strongly for bad habits are condemned by those people who themselves suffered from them, but quit. Former smokers, those who abuse alcohol or junk food. They are capable of endlessly condemning those who have not yet done this: "Why are they so weak?", "They have no self-control!", "They allow their bad habits to govern themselves!"

And along with this righteous indignation comes the feeling of superiority over other people. But this, as mentioned earlier, does not lead to happiness at all. Condemnation leads to the fact that this person becomes unpleasant to you, you come with negative feelings towards him, feel disappointment and even disgust.

We would like other people to be like us, to do something to improve their lives. People generally tend to imagine themselves in the place of other people, so we always think that we know what is best for the other person.

This is actually very presumptuous. Even if you communicate with a close relative, you may not even guess what he really needs, let alone just familiar people.

When you judge people, you don't accept them as they are, you don't accept life as it is, and you feel frustrated that it isn't.

Why not try to understand the other person instead? I am sure that a person, if he wishes, can understand absolutely everyone. And when you understand the other person, the dislike will disappear and you will accept another part of this life.

Developing two habits

You are a good person, everyone else is also. Only comparison makes us think differently. And you can replace it with two great habits:

1. Accept yourself for who you are. Instead of looking at other people's lives, focus on the good things that happen in your life. As soon as you notice that you are starting to compare yourself and other people, stop. Instead, look at your life, at all that is beautiful in it.
2. Try to understand, not condemn. When you find that you are disappointed with someone, stop judging. Instead, try to understand the person. Maybe he's having a rough time in his life, upset, depressed, or angry. Maybe a person has lost hope and he really had circumstances for this in his life. When you understand the person, judgment recedes.

With these two habits, you can unlearn yourself from comparing yourself to other people, get rid of jealousy, and become a little happier.