How to make friends with others when you're a humble introvert

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Psychological advice will help you achieve your goal and not suffer.

1. Be yourself

Introverts need loneliness, and you shouldn't give up on it. It's okay if you don't want to spend all your time with other people. Therefore, before looking for new friends, ask yourself, do you really need it? Maybe you just think that you should have more acquaintances - like everyone else? Or maybe this point of view was imposed on you?

But if you really want to expand your social circle, first of all determine what kind of people you want to see next to you. Usually, it is most comfortable with those who share your interests and outlook on life.

Therefore, it is worth focusing on what fascinates you, finding people with similar hobbies and letting new acquaintances get to know yourself better, to fall in love with who you really are.

2. Change not yourself, but your behavior

Personality traits are not easy to change, but you can sometimes try to behave differently. Psychologists have found that more extroverted behavior can positively affect a person's well-being.

Try to exchange a few words with a colleague in the office kitchen, accept an invitation to a party, or leave a comment on a community on a social network. Track how you feel when you do unusual things. If you're uncomfortable, don't push yourself.

3. Don't be afraid that people won't love you right away

We often try to make a good first impression on people, are afraid of disappointing them and think that we might be disliked. But you don't have to worry about that. Experts from various US universities have proven that after meeting you, people like you much more than you think.

4. Greet people first

This advice may sound trivial, but shy introverts are often shy about saying hello or looking someone in the eye. But it is these simple actions that show people that you are friendly. Therefore, do not be afraid to be the first to wave your hand to someone and smile.

5. Use friendly body language

To build self-confidence and improve interactions with people, try to show your body that you are open to communication, says Vanessa Van Edwards, writer and founder of The Science of People, a laboratory that studies human behavior.

Do not cross your arms over your chest, as if defensively, keep your back straight. Smile and nod as you support the other person and encourage them to continue the story.

6. Give yourself time

We show ourselves as real only when we feel comfortable with someone. But this takes time. And if you're uncomfortable with new friends at first, don't berate yourself, says writer Jenn Granneman. The more time you spend with them, the more comfortable you will be.

7. Take an interest in people, ask questions

When we meet new people, we have to talk about ourselves, and this is what every introvert is afraid of. But the conversation doesn't have to be about you.

Jenn Granneman is the author of The Secret Life of Introverts. The art of survival in the "loud" world of extroverts"

Introverts have a superpower: listen. So get the other person to talk by asking them questions.

People love to talk about themselves and what they think. Give them that opportunity and sometimes answer their questions.

8. Use your strengths

Other people may like your personality traits, behaviors, skills. Take advantage of this.

Study yourself, find out what you are good at. For example, you can be a great listener, compassionate and empathetic person, and your friends can count on your support and ability to keep secrets.

Your unique qualities may appeal to another introvert who recognizes you as a close-minded person, or they can complement the opposite traits of an extrovert.

9. Don't be afraid to try new things

If your current hobbies aren't helping you expand your social circle, look for new hobbies. You can start with what you have always been interested in: enroll in a dance class or on a tour of your hometown, work as a volunteer, or participate in social events.

You don't need to talk to anyone the first time if you are uncomfortable. But if you like it, you can continue to go to events and keep in touch with someone you already met there.

We are often drawn to people with similar values and experiences, but don't be afraid to meet people who are different from you. Communication with them will help broaden your horizons or even change your outlook on the world.

10. Take a closer look at people you already know

You don't have to look for friends among strangers. The author of books about introverts, Sophia Dembling, suggests paying attention to others: some of them may turn out to be an interesting person with similar hobbies and outlooks on life.

Maybe your colleague loves the same music as you and will happily accompany you at a concert. Or he reads just as much and is willing to share his collection of interesting books. Or maybe your former classmate is actually an interesting girl with whom you can talk about everything in the world? Keep an eye on people!

11. Be a little more persistent

If you want to make friends with someone, do not be afraid to take the risk and take the first step, write, start a conversation.

Sophia Dembling author of books on introverts

What you find intrusive may seem friendly to others. Our sensitivity can work for us or against us. Don't be so sensitive as to be afraid to take risks. Be empathetic enough to know whether to step aside.

And do not be afraid of awkwardness in communication, if it arises at first. This does not characterize you or another person in any way. It just happens at the beginning of a friendship.

12. Don't chase quantity

Psychologists believe that it doesn't really matter how many friends you have. It is important how they suit you. Because the quality of relationships with people directly affects the feeling of happiness and life satisfaction.

You may need to have a strong relationship with your family and one friend, get along with your coworkers, and maintain polite conversation if necessary. And if you are so comfortable, good. In the end, it's better to have one good friend than to gather a crowd of acquaintances for whom you have neither the time nor the energy.

13. Train in communication, but do not overdo it

To improve your ability to interact with other people, communicate with them. However, you don't need to be socially active all the time. Don't spend too much time with your friends if it makes you stressed.

14. Immerse yourself in a friendship routine

Many introverts love the routine, so don't be afraid to ask your friends to meet once a week at a specific time. For example, to dine on Saturday at your favorite restaurant or take a walk in the park on Tuesday after work.

Jenn Granneman is the author of The Secret Life of Introverts. The art of survival in the "loud" world of extroverts"

When we know what to expect, we feel more comfortable and spend less energy. Plus, this way you won't have to come up with something new and interesting every time you get together.

15. Don't be discouraged if friendship doesn't work out

It also happens that some relationships simply do not work out, and this is normal. Sophia Dembling assures that when friendship fails, there are no losers. Therefore, give up self-flagellation and continue looking for your person.