How to make friends when you're 30

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Your student years are over, you are busy with your career and family. And suddenly you realize that on a free evening there is no one to walk with and drink coffee. When old friends are too busy, look for new ones. How to do this and not be disappointed?

In kindergarten, school and university, friends appear on their own. After 10–20 years, you won't even remember why you became friends. And this is not surprising: at 20, we spend 10 to 15 hours a week with friends Bureau of Labor Statistics, U. S. Department of Labor. … … And then we plunge into work, start families … It is difficult to find time even for morning exercises, let alone for constant meetings.

And it turns out that in the evenings there is no one to even chat with. Some of the friends left for another city, with some interests diverged. Communication with colleagues and family is not enough.

Comparison of the severity of the loneliness experienced by 255 Canadian men and 431 women with the characteristics of their love-romantic, family, friendships and companionship showed that the feeling of loneliness is most closely associated with a lack of friendship.

Igor Kon "Friendship: an ethical and psychological essay"

So many have to look for new friends. It’s not easy because there’s no time. Social media, of course, helps keep dating going. But subscribing to someone's news doesn't mean becoming a friend. How to find close people on the Internet?

Look for friends where they can be

The first advice for finding friends on the Internet is to choose services that will really help you find “your” person. You will not wait for a tram on a street without paved paths or fish in a pool. The same principle works on social media.

Social network users have known for a long time that each of them has its own rules of the game. Some networks focus on professional communication, in which you need to look for colleagues, performers and investors, rather than friends. Others help you find people with whom you have lost contact. Nice to see how you are doing, but if you haven't been in touch with the person in years, then this is not the best recommendation for friendship.

Finding new people with similar interests is a specialty of the network. In it, people are found not by their last name and not by the date of graduation, but by interests and geolocation.

Create a profile with a real name

When a person views your profile on a social network, they meet you. And when meeting, it is customary to introduce yourself by your real name. This is a requirement of etiquette and banal politeness, and a polite and respectful attitude towards another person is necessary to establish friendly relations.

Remember how we met in childhood, when it was easy to find a friend. No nicknames: our friends gave them to us.

Remove the cat from the avatar

And take the car away too. And in general, everything that interferes with looking at your face. You want to be friends with a real person, not a picture. The same applies to those who are going to communicate with you. And it’s strange to start a friendship hiding behind a mask. Be honest, and people will be drawn to you.

Putting low-quality avatars in MyFriends is not something that is not accepted, it simply cannot be done. Therefore, you always see who you are going to talk to and meet.

And add cats to the feed, but only your own, and not other people's photos from the Internet.

Submit more information about yourself

Remember that somewhere in MyFriends there is a person who is looking for a friend like you. Help him find you. Fill out the profile in as much detail as possible: the service was invented specifically for telling about yourself, and not for collecting likes and reposts.

In MyFriends, there are no re-posts of hundreds of identical articles and jokes that are scattered across all publics at once. - it's personal.

Showcase your hobbies

Whatever one may say, most of the information we get with the help of sight. At MyFriends, the principle is “We will not tell, we will show”. Take pictures and add hashtags to them, which will be a means of searching for interests. The better and clearer each photo is described, the more likely it is that people with similar views will see you.

Be the first to write

Sometimes we get so fixated on old contacts that we can't just take and write to a stranger. Especially if you need to come up with an introductory word: who you are, why are you writing. But another person can be tormented by the same doubts. Therefore, we must take the initiative into our own hands and start somewhere. For example, just comment on a good photo.

By the way, when you leave a record in MyFriends, your intentions are already clear: you are looking for a friend, and not gaining subscribers and not promoting the page.

Look for friends nearby

Previously, friends were divided into several categories: friend, friend, acquaintance. Relatively recently, the concept of "Internet friend" has appeared. This seems to be a friend, but not quite.

What prevents virtual friends from becoming real? Distances and purely digital communication. Therefore, if you are not satisfied with such a substitute for friendship, look for people who live near you. The easiest way is by geolocation. You will be surprised when you see how many possible friends live on the same street with you.

This is not the only friend search filter. Choose for yourself who, in your opinion, will be the best company for you.

Go to meetings

Remember how much time 20-year-olds spend with their friends? Yes, more than 10 hours a week. Too much for those over thirty. Why do we meet less often? Because it’s more and more difficult to insert a joint trip to a cafe or to a movie in the schedule. When one is busy, the other is free, and vice versa.

But without personal communication, friendship does not arise. This is with old comrades you can not see for years without changing your attitude towards a person. The new ones will not get closer without conversation, general activity, or relaxation.

Try meeting new people without changing your schedule. For example, you are going to a movie premiere. Write on the social network about your desire, someone will join you - this is the reason for the meeting and the way to choose a place and time. In there is a separate option, which is called “Desires”. Suggest your options for where to go and what to do, or see who is going to spend time with benefit in the near future. Join us and make friends for health.