Spanish shame: why others make you blush

Why Shame Is Called Spanish

As modern dictionaries Spanish Shame explain, Spanish shame is "a feeling of burning embarrassment at the actions of other people." This is a curious phenomenon, of course, international, without a clear geographic reference. But the Spaniards were the first to think of giving it their own name.

Vergüenza Ajena (“shame for others”) - they stated the essence of this experience.

And they entered the name of the country into the thesauri of international psychology. Having moved, by the way, Germany, which also has a similar concept - Fremdschämen, "shame for a stranger." Spanish shame has other names as well. For example, second-hand embarrassment. Or empathic shame. Or Linking Empathy To Vicarious Embarrassment.

However, there are things more interesting than names. In particular, where does this very Spanish shame come from? What makes us blush for others - people whose mistakes, stupid or tactless behavior we ourselves have nothing to do with.

Where does Spanish shame come from?

There are not many studies on mediated embarrassment. However, the ones that are available allow me to list several reasons why you experience Spanish shame. Spoiler alert: some of them will make you happy, and some may upset you.

This is sensitivity

She is also developed empathy. You try on how the other person feels when they are in an awkward situation. And you empathize with him to such an extent that you experience almost physical pain.

This is no exaggeration: empathy does activate your flaws are my pain areas of the brain associated with the sensation of pain. Therefore, you want to close your eyes, leave, just not to see someone else's shame.

This is self-centeredness

Imagine a naked little boy running out into the street in front of you. The child is still too young to realize that he is violating certain social norms. He does not feel an ounce of embarrassment. But this embarrassment is suddenly experienced by you.

This happens because your internal attitudes, your view of the world seem to you more significant than the attitudes of other people.

And this is how egocentrism manifests itself - a thing in general is natural. However, sometimes it leads to inertia of views, the inability to look at the world from a different point of view. However, this is a completely different story.

This is hyperresponsibility

If you are familiar with Spanish shame, then you tend to take responsibility for the behavior of others. And it makes you experience other people's mistakes as your own. Even in a situation where you cannot objectively influence these actions.

It's the fear of being rejected

The fear of being thrown out of the collective lives in each of us. Hello to a long and not always humane evolution that taught our ancestors: to become an outcast in a tribe means very quickly to become dead. Therefore, we react sharply to situations in which society rejects (or may reject) one of our fellow tribesmen.

What if, the subconscious whispers excitedly, they will reject us after it?

Track how people feel when the boss is scolding a subordinate in front of them. Or how schoolchildren behave when a teacher scolds a classmate. Head pressed into the shoulders, lowered gaze, awkward silence and a desperate desire to run away. This is the same mechanism that triggers Spanish shame in other cases. Somewhere out there, in the depths of the subconscious, we are scared, so we want to avert our eyes and make a facepalm in order to hide from this “shame” and possible expulsion. Validation and correlates of the vicarious embarrassment scale.

It's low self-esteem

Leaders, bright and popular people from the tribe, as a rule, are not thrown away. Throw away those whose loss will not become noticeable. If you are trying on the role of the potentially rejected, chances are you are not very confident in yourself.

This is a sign that you belong to the same social group as the "loser"

Spanish shame is most acute when you associate yourself with someone who is in an awkward situation. So indirect embarrassment can serve as a kind of psychological test.

Look at the person whose actions make you feel Spanish ashamed. You associate yourself with him, consider yourself part of the same social group that is significant to you. And that says a lot about you.