How not to be carried out on propaganda and remain human

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

In short: need to talk to people … And now for more details.

There will be something very chaotic, because the topic is not easy and it is also difficult to talk about it. I do not promise eloquent revelations. I promise something else: I will try not to touch politics as such. First, because this is a Lifehacker, not LifeNews. Secondly, because I am not a journalist. Thirdly, and most importantly, because I don't understand anything about politics and, figuratively speaking, I didn't hold a candle.

Just by the will of fate, I turned out to be emotionally very close to what is happening on the territory of Ukraine.

Let's start over. My name is Tamara (this is my real name, the surname Kotova is a fictitious one), I was born in Moscow and have lived in Russia all my life. I do not have a TV, I occasionally read news on the Internet, more often I learn about what is happening from my friends or my grandmother, who loves to call and, after watching the "box", tell how scary life is.

The level of my personal (that is, voluntarily assumed) civil responsibility tends to zero. I was at Bolotnaya, but there was nothing to be proud of: there was no risk there, and there was no result either.

Sometimes I am ashamed of this and it seems that I need to somehow prove myself. That a small contribution is also important. Sometimes it’s not ashamed and it seems that the best possible reaction to any horror is just to keep doing your job (whatever it is) and doing it well. That big issues need to be solved by big actions, and they are outside my sphere of influence.

In general, I have not yet understood whether I am ashamed or not. I think many of us have similar feelings about, say, begging on the street. Sometimes you give, sometimes you pass by. As far as Ukraine is concerned, I mostly went through.

But then the unexpected happened: I fell in love with an Odessa citizen. I'll wait for you to laugh and dry your tears. Believe it or not, but this "f-g-g" is not without reason, and I'm leading to something.

Who to talk to

This is not the story of Romeo from Odessa and Juliet from Moscow. First, because I am not planning on dying, and neither is he. Secondly, we are older, more experienced and, I would like to think, smarter than the heroes of Shakespeare. Thirdly, because it is still completely unclear whether we will succeed. Not because of the war, but for completely ordinary, "relational" reasons.

But I'm distracted. The bottom line is that many of our conversations with him naturally touched on what was happening in his homeland. How could it be otherwise: it concerns him directly, but I am not indifferent to what will happen to him. The things that excite him are not indifferent.

He became my window to Ukrainian eventsif you like.

He also does not hold a candle. In fact, no one really holds her. He does not know for sure what is going on, where, who exactly and with whom is fighting, because there is a sea of information, and facts - one or two, and he has run out of things. He understands this very well. But I listened to what he told me, asked questions, supported (sometimes just by the very fact of “listening”), and it helped him.

How not to be carried out on propaganda and remain human

Rule # 1

Communicate with the other side of the conflict.

Better - with a person you care about. It can be a friend, relative, lover, or just a good acquaintance. A person whom you respect and who is not a stranger to you.

People, with the exception of psychopaths and other emotionally disabled people, have empathy. Ability to empathize with things and phenomena that are not directly related to them, and relate their experience to the experience of others. Feel their feelings, at least partially.

You know what they say: one death is a tragedy, a thousand is statistics.

Don't let any group become statistics for you. If you want to preserve your dignity, you have to go against the natural, but very nasty human instinct to generalize and attribute the actions of a handful of freaks of an entire nation.

Give this conflict a face. Find a living, conscious person you don't care about - he will be your emotional "window" to the other side.

What and how to talk

Finding an interlocutor is half the battle, you have to calculate the "squaring the circle" from time to time: to be honest, but delicate, understanding, but not condescending.

I will repeat what I have already said: I listened, asked questions, supported.

In essence, nothing else needs to be done. And if you say something, then the truth. Not your speculations, not conclusions drawn from a running start and on the basis of data that you cannot confirm in any way, but the most truthful truth. Yours. I said this:

“I'm terribly sorry that there is a war going on. I see how bad you are, and I want to help. I don’t know if there are Russian troops there, but if there are, it’s a nightmare, and it disgusts me. I love you. Take a deep breath, please. And one more.

I had no other truth, but this was enough.

How not to be carried out on propaganda and remain human

Rule # 2

Listen more, talk less. Ask. Let's understand that your interlocutor is not alone and you are not his enemy.

But what not to do.

Reason with a serious face who is to blame. (You don't know that.) Use the words "Putin" or "Crimea" in any subjective context. (You are not Putin, and Crimea is not yours.) Show disrespect for the dead, whoever they are. (The phrase "Serves them right" is almost always erroneous.) To exude demonstrative patriotism, beating oneself in the chest. (You can love your country, but you don't have to shove this love down the throats of people.)

In short, there is no need to speculate with facts, draw conclusions out of thin air and fall into hysterics. The latter has an indisputable right only for those whose loved ones were stuck, wounded or died on the territory of Ukraine. Their hysteria is perfectly justified. The rest are better off controlling themselves.

If you dare to express an opinion, express it, but only as an opinion, without knocking a slipper on the table and operatic pathos. As Faina Ranevskaya said, less pathos, gentlemen. It is completely inappropriate here.

Why talk

In other words, who needs it? I already said that our conversations helped my friend. The thing is, they helped me too.

I did not understand the situation on the territory of Ukraine better, but something calmed down in me. I stopped getting into telephone arguments and getting angry with relatives and friends who love, without asking, to pour opinions into my ears that make me sick.

I don't care about them anymore. I have a much better companion.

How not to be carried out on propaganda and remain human

Rule No. 3

Think with your own head and draw your conclusions based on your sources.

Don't believe it works? Here's another example. Very important and revealing.

In 2002, under the leadership of PCFF (Israel's The Parents Circle-Families Forum), launched a free multi-line Hello Shalom telephone line to enable the people of Israel and Palestine to establish dialogue.

At the moment there was about a million calls.

The war has been going on there for a long time, thousands of families have lost their relatives, but these people, these "sworn enemies", called and told their stories. We cried, shared grief and, perhaps, hopes for the future world. Impressive, isn't it?

"This land is mine." Speaking of the appalling absurdity of the war in general and the Arab-Israeli conflict in particular

In the 21st century, it is generally a shame to fight, but it is important to remember that information war is also war … She makes us hate each other, and people who are full of hate are easy to control. The ideologists of all world dictatorships understood this perfectly, and therefore had such incredible success. Depersonalize the enemy, blame all the problems on him, make him the focus of aggression and irritation. "Here X, he is to blame for everything, reject him, hate him, kill him." It works.

But it works (and this should not be forgotten either) only with your permission. Often silent and unconscious.

Under the right circumstances, words are as powerful as a sniper rifle, and government-controlled media take advantage of this to create the context in which we live and think. It is in our power to create our own, and to do it the easiest way, choosing your sources of information.

Did that Israeli telephone line stop the war? Of course not. Wars stop either when money runs out or when everyone is dead.

The goal is not to stop the war, but to prevent us from turning into cynical, blinkered, embittered monsters against the background of all this chaos and trying to support people who are now having a hard time.

That's all.