Is it possible to remain friends after the breakup and is it necessary

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Alas, there are more arguments against than for.

There is a study according to which the friendship between former sexual partners is qualitatively different from the initially platonic relationship, and for the worse. We figure out when it is worth maintaining this connection, and when it is still better to abandon the idea.

In what situations can you remain friends

The partners have no feelings for each other

It is impossible to make friends when your knees give way from thoughts of your ex (or ex). However, if your heart no longer clenches every time you hear his or her name, things can work out.

Natalia Poletaeva is a practicing female and family psychologist.

If at the mention of a partner no feelings arise - no pain, no anger, no love - then everything has already burned out and friendship has a chance.

It can be a long and difficult process, but everything is real. It is important that everyone understands that feelings are actually gone. A psychologist or time can help here.

Partners are forced to intersect in everyday life

You need to think about how to interact with your partner so that everyone is comfortable. And this applies not only to former lovers, but also to the people around them, because of whom they cannot interrupt communication.

Oleg Ivanov is a psychologist, conflictologist, head of the Center for Settlement of Social Conflicts.

In any case, it is more about maintaining a normal, neutral, calm relationship after the breakup, but not friendly at all.

Friendship is trust and mutual support. If no one is ready for this, but you have to continue communication for some reason, you should at least try so that it does not slide into endless quarrels and sarcastic remarks about each other at every meeting.

Partners were originally more friends than lovers

Initially, there was no passion and romance in the union, the joint future was discussed superficially, or this issue was not raised at all, but there was always respect and mutual understanding. And, although in the family plan something did not work out, the partners are still interested in together and they trust each other. In such a situation, the transition to friendly relations seems quite logical.

When is the best time to stop communicating

The partners do not and did not have anything in common

It happens that after the breakup, neither man nor woman understands how they managed to live together for several years - they are completely strangers to each other. Lovers disperse and eventually forget the past.

This option is possible if people are not connected by anything: neither children, nor business, nor common concerns.

Natalia Poletaeva.

When, apart from the absence of common interests, goals or plans, there are no joint affairs that require the attention of each of the parties, friendship or maintaining any relationship through force does not make sense.

One of the partners perceives friendship as an opportunity to return the relationship

One is sure that everything is in order: you can share intimate details of your new life, talk about everyday little things and praise your passion. The other, gritting his teeth, pretends that he is glad to hear all this, but in fact hopes that everything will return to normal. He lives with illusions and waits for an imaginary friendship to develop into a relationship. And this is a traumatic experience that will bring nothing but discomfort to one person and pain and disappointment to another.

One partner has a devastating effect on the other

You should get out of a toxic relationship once and for all. They are unlikely to lead to anything good. And do not expect that after a breakup, something will change in the behavior of a toxic person, and friendships will be very different from romantic ones.

Larisa Milova is a family psychologist, a process psychotherapist, a genetic psychologist and a trauma therapist.

Not all connections are worth keeping. For example, if the person is a psychopath and wishes to harm you, it is best to stop all interaction with him.

Sometimes, after parting, one is trying with all his might to return the other: he threatens, tries to cause physical or mental harm. If you follow the lead, you run the risk of returning to a knowingly doomed union.

The partners were not friends, even when they were together

If the union was based on passion and other emotions fading over time, and there was no trace of friendly overtones, where would it come from after parting? You had a good time together, but you always turned to other people for support or advice, did not share your feelings with your former lover, and did not trust him. Most likely, after the breakup, he will be the last person you want to come to if you need friendship.

The breakup was too painful

For example, it happened on the initiative of one, and the second did not want to part at all. Or it was all about treason and betrayal. It is difficult to talk about friendship here, at least until the pain and negative emotions subside. This can take months or even years.

The point is that friendship is based on mutual affection and trust. And when people leave, this attachment is broken.

Oleg Ivanov.

How to keep friendships after breaking up

1. Take a break and stop communicating for a while to let your emotions subside.
2. Be honest with yourself: the illusion that things will be the same and the hopes that don't come true will ultimately lead to more disappointment.
3. Avoid things that remind you of you as a couple. And even more so do not flirt.

To be friends or not to be friends after breaking up is your choice. But be careful not to fall into the abyss of passion and not become a participant in a drama that no one wants.