How to tell about yourself so as not to seem like a braggart

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

There is a fine line between telling yourself well and bragging. We share the secrets of how to talk about our successes and not make a bad impression on others.

I am not the greatest, I am doubly the greatest. Not only do I knock them out, I choose the round.

Muhammad Ali boxer

Muhammad Ali was not only one of the best boxers of all time, but also one of the best braggart. Bragging has had an extremely positive impact on Ali's career, but it only hurts the vast majority of people.

By claiming too much credit for yourself, you run the risk of being branded as a braggart. Although many people make the exact opposite mistake: being afraid to seem too immodest, they deliberately belittle their achievements or do not talk about them at all, even when the situation calls for it. For example, in interviews or during reports at work.

All this happens due to ignorance of how to present yourself correctly. Below, we'll take a look at four tips from some of the best public speakers on how to get the word out and avoid making mistakes.

1. Do not make loud statements

When you brag about something, you are directly stating your accomplishments. Usually, you describe your successes in paints, share amazing details and just can't stop reminding everyone how wonderful you are. This is where the mistake lies: people around you begin to consider you too annoying and arrogant. Therefore, they begin to avoid you, protecting themselves.

When you just share something with people, you are inviting them to personally participate in the process and take a closer look at what happened. You allow them to make sure that you are not unfounded, that some real action is hidden behind your words. Instead of just stating your accomplishments, try to describe, share, talk about them.

Imagine that you are in sales.

If you were bragging about your successes, then it would look like this:

I sold ten times more than all the other managers in this company combined. And we have, please note, there are more than a hundred of them!

If you were just sharing your achievements, it would look like this:

Many people dream of becoming doctors, lawyers, scientists. Since childhood, I dreamed of becoming a good seller. Today I have practically achieved it. If you are interested, then I will tell you in more detail.

From the examples above, it becomes clear that the whole difference lies in the approach. It is recommended that you share information with others, and then confirm it with specific examples, and not just dump a bunch of unconfirmed facts on your interlocutors.

2. Strive to find a common language with people

When you brag, you are always highlighting the difference between yourself and the people you interact with. Your goal in this moment is to show how different your life is from the life of everyone else, how much better you are than everyone else.

You strive to demonstrate your superiority. You work harder than everyone else. You are smarter than everyone else. You are smarter and more successful than everyone else. You have more determination and courage. You glow with complacency. Do you think someone likes it? You are wrong.

When you just share something with others, you talk about your successes, but add additional comments that explain how you were able to achieve all of this. They serve to bring you and your audience together. You do everything so that people feel as if they are involved in your success, share your victories with them. This way you bring the audience closer and closer to you.

Imagine that you have just completed your university degree.

If you were bragging about your success, it would look like this:

I graduated from Harvard Law School, I am the king of the world!

If you were just sharing your achievement, it would look like this:

Like many of you, I have had the opportunity to graduate. Like many of you, I have come a long and difficult journey. Like anyone, I love winning, so I worked hard to get this long-awaited diploma.

3. Do not seek admiration, share your experience

When you brag about something, you are trying to make other people appreciate what you have done. In your speech, you focus on your feelings and experiences and forget that everyone else is not very interested in this.

When you simply share something with others, you set yourself the goal of passing on to them the experience that was so valuable to you. You are trying to explain that if they feel everything the same as you, then perhaps it will be very useful for them. Maybe this will help them look at the world differently and somehow change their lives.

Imagine that you have attended a social event and want to share your impressions of it.

If you were bragging, it would look like this:

I was sitting next to the host of the party, and he is a very influential person. Many came here just to talk to him, and he chose me as his interlocutor!

If you were just sharing your impressions, then it would look like this:

It somehow happened that at the event I sat down not far from the host of the party. By the way, he is a real CEO in a large company. I asked him what it was like to be a CEO at all. He replied that it was rather difficult, because you have to watch your every word and action. This made me think about how difficult it really is for all more or less famous people, because they are in the spotlight all the time.

When you communicate with people, try to make them feel involved in your story, find themselves in the very center of the story, try it on themselves, even if nothing like that has ever happened to them.

4. Don't make yourself a hero

When you brag about something, you tell people the story of how you became a superhero. You are the protagonist, and every detail of the story points to this. You are trying by any means to convey this information to others.

When you just share something, you are not just talking about yourself. You are more like Frodo from The Lord of the Rings. He is one of the main characters, but he understands that without Sam, Gandalf and other minor characters, the story would not have been so bright.

Imagine that you are the only and the best expert in any field.

If you were bragging about it, then it would look like this:

I am an expert and I see right through you all. I can just walk into the room and instantly see all the violations. I know what levers to push to solve all your problems.

If you were just trying to help, it would look like this:

I am an expert and I understand that I just need to help other people understand the situation a little. Professionals work here, and they know as much as I do. We will try to become an effective team in order to quickly solve the problem.

There is no need to pretend to be a patron, hide behind false modesty and powder everyone's brains. You should not ascribe all the merits to yourself, while belittling the achievements of others. Let people know that you couldn't do it alone, and then they'll feel sympathy for you.

Outcomes

To leave the right impression of yourself, always think about what you are saying. Do not pretend to be a hero, do not look for admiration, share your experience, strive to find a common language with people and do not scatter loud statements. Remember these four simple rules and try to use them whenever you want to tell someone about yourself.