How to tell someone bad news and not make it worse

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

No one likes to bring bad news, but sometimes there is no choice. Follow these simple rules and make the process less painful for both parties.

Prepare for a conversation

Write down the main points you have to say. Rehearse if you're worried. Of course, it is not necessary to read out a speech prepared in advance from a piece of paper, but it is better to think over the conversation plan and foresee possible difficulties. During the conversation, be calm, but not indifferent.

Choose the right place and time

Practicing psychotherapist Amy Maureen writes that the environment matters. Therefore, choose a place where no one will bother you. If the news suggests follow-up discussion, take some time to answer the other person's questions or simply listen to them. Communicating bad news in between things in a crowded and noisy space is not the best solution.

Give bad news in person

Parting through a messenger or informing about dismissal in an e-mail is a manifestation of disrespect for the interlocutor. This also applies to sadder news, such as illness or tragedy. Therefore, if there is an opportunity to meet in person, use it.

Speak softly, but be direct and honest

Don't try to hide the unpleasant truth. Amy Maureen believes being overly gentle will not be beneficial. For example, when firing an employee, do not tell him that he is not to blame for this and that he is doing his job perfectly, if in fact this is not the case. Delicately explain to him the real reasons and do not force him to think about why such a wonderful employee like him was asked to leave.

In addition, most people prefer to be straightforward if they have to receive negative information. If you are too gentle, the person will become suspicious and start to get nervous. Why torture him again? Be direct.

Watch your tone

The tone of your message plays an important role. Careless presentation of information will cause negative reactions, so take some time to politely explain to the person what exactly is wrong, and be extremely objective.

Do not pour water

Don't beat around the bush before getting to the point. Do not waste your interlocutor's time on empty conversations about the weather or exchange rates - this is not why you called him. In addition, he may be puzzled by prolonged meaningless chatter: he will think about what you want from him and why is he here? Instead, greet politely, express regret, and say what you want. This is not about dumbfounded the unfortunate person with the news from the doorway and get rid of. There may be a preface, but don't go far from the topic.

Provide the facts

The interlocutor may take what you said too emotionally. So be prepared to explain why this happened. It all depends on the specific case and the topic you are talking about, but if you can name a reason, do it. Let the person see the situation in full, be informed and come to conclusions that will be useful to him in the future. Just do not get excited, try to remain neutral.

Don't ask for sympathy from the other person

Chances are, all the anger or resentment will spill out on the person giving the bad news. Even if nothing depended on you in a particular situation. Do not overuse the phrases "Imagine how hard it is for me to talk about this!" or "Do you think it came easy for me?" - so you run the risk of angering the person even more. Amy Maureen advises to prepare for different reactions of the interlocutor and try to accept them, but do not stoop to insults.

Show concern

Find out how the person took the news. Empathize, support, but do not squeeze out your feigned emotions: sincerity is most important.

Offer help

If you can help with something, tell me about it. If the interlocutor accepts the offer, treat him with full responsibility: he has problems, and, perhaps, you are the only source of support.