Social life hacks: how to behave with other people

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Psychologist and neurologist Eva Glasrud has eight tips to help you in a variety of social situations, from dating to meeting new people.

According to Eva, she has attended two alumni meetings in the past year. On them, she learned that many former classmates and classmates do not want to come to these meetings. The reason is simple: they do not like to talk about their work, considering it bad, and themselves as failed people.

As a result, Eve realized that she shouldn't ask people about their work. Instead of the standard question "Where do you work?" or "How do you make money?" she asks a more neutral: "What are you hobbies about?"

First, the answer to this question leads to a much more interesting conversation. Secondly, an awkward situation is not created if a person is ashamed or, for some reason, does not want to talk about his work. Here are other tips about which and which can help in communication.

Develop charisma

Olivia Cabane showed that charisma is a skill and needs to be developed. As with other skills, this is not easy, but possible. Eva advises to start by paying attention only to the interlocutor during the conversation and try to maintain eye contact. The following tips might also help.

If you want to appear attractive on a date, scare your partner

In 1974, psychologists Donald Dutton and Arthur Aron conducted. They led a group of men to two bridges. One was wooden and wobbly, the other concrete and sturdy. At the other end of the bridge were girls. Psychologists asked the men to cross one of the bridges. When the men moved to the other side, the girls gave them their phone number and offered to go on a date.

The men were told that this was the end of the experiment, but nevertheless it was just beginning. The essence of the experiment was to find out how fear and the subsequent action in the form of a call are connected. It turned out that the men who chose the wobbly bridge called more often. Subsequently, it turned out that this was due to the fear experienced: the men had an increased heart rate, they sweated and the body produced adrenaline. But their subconscious believed that all these symptoms were caused by attraction to girls.

Therefore, it is better to arrange an unusual and possibly risky date. Chances are good that this will make you appear more attractive.

If the interlocutor is bored with you, tell him about it

An annoying neighbor on the plane or someone you are not interested in at a bar will not understand that they are annoying you. And you will experience discomfort from communicating with them and show signs of passive-aggressive behavior. Therefore, tactfully say that you are not interested in the conversation or that you want to do something else.

Forget about maps and GPS

Asking for directions is one of the best ways to meet new people. Do not stare at the cards, but rather ask for directions from a passer-by and maintain eye contact when he answers you. According to Eve, she lost track of the friends she met in this way.

Ask interesting questions

Eva says that one of her best friends recently reminded her of how they met. At the party, Eva immediately asked him a question:

You are not one of these people who only talk about politics?

According to a friend, this allowed them to go through the stage of talking about nothing and immediately jump into an interesting conversation. And that leads us to the next point.

Open up

Psychologists Nancy Collins and Lynn Miller had two groups of students. The first group was asked to split into pairs and get to know each other by asking standard questions: "Where do you work?", "What is your name?", "What films do you like?"The second group was given special tasks. For example, look each other in the eyes for five minutes or ask unexpected questions like, "When was the last time you cried?"

Despite the fact that the members of the second group felt uncomfortable, they subsequently developed a stronger bond than in the first group. From this follows advice: do not be afraid to be unusual and surprise your interlocutor.

Don't be afraid to be rude

Don't be afraid to be rude and say no in situations where it needs to be done. For example, if you refused something that the other person suggested to you, and he continues to insist, he was the first to be rude. This means that you are free to manifest it in response. We overestimate the meaning of the word "no" too much.

Don't be manipulated

Here are the most common techniques:

1. Reciprocal exchange technique. If you want to ask a person for something, then the chance that he will do it is much higher if you have done something for him before.
2. Two requests instead of one. Another technique that comes in handy if you want to ask for something. First you need to ask for more than you need.
3. Anchor technique. When you are told “Most people donated X rubles” or “Most of the employees work Y hours a week”, you are tied to these numbers. You subconsciously do not want to stand out, and it will be easier to manipulate you.
4. Attractiveness. A person who seems attractive to you is much more difficult to refuse. This can also be used.