How Learning to Listen to Other People Can Change Your Life

We dream to please everyone. After all, seeing that we are cute to a person, you can safely write down one more mental plus sign in your favor. But if you are not a rock star, have not landed a probe on a comet and have not starred as a vampire in a popular film, then the task of liking is somewhat more complicated.

Learn to listen

In order to please people, you need to be able to do one fairly simple thing - to listen.

Friendship, loyalty, love are not empty words that can be achieved only by starting to listen to the interlocutor. After all, if there is at least one topic in the world that we like to talk about, then it is ourselves. So why not take advantage of this? Your interlocutor will be pleased if he can share his experiences or problems with you. And you, having gained patience and having listened, will receive in his person a loyal and devoted person. Maybe even a friend.

Listening can be learned just like any other skill. The hardest part here is admitting your vulnerability. Many of us do not know how to listen to others for this simple reason. It is because of her that we often despise people's advice. But whose other advice to listen to, if not relatives, parents, friends?

Having overcome your unwillingness to be vulnerable and show emotions, you can move on to the next step.

Become a good conversationalist

How do you become a good conversationalist? Simple enough - you need to listen, react and ask questions.

Let's imagine this situation. They call you from school and say that your son had a fight with his classmate. The idiotic "offense - punishment" pattern will immediately slip through the minds of many. Once he got into a fight, he must be punished.

What if instead you try to get into the situation and talk to your child about what happened?

Asking him questions, getting his point of view, and being genuinely interested in what happened and why will strengthen your relationship and become a friend to your child. It costs a lot.

By asking questions and showing interest in the other person, you move to a deeper level of relationship. To a level where friendship, affection, sympathy and loyalty are already nearby.

Here's another example. Imagine a person, let's call him X. He has a bad life, he wants to jump off a bridge. He stands on the edge, he only has to take a step. Then Z passes by, who realizes that X's life is in his hands, and only he can dissuade him from this act.

Z begins to tell X that jumping off the bridge is illogical, there are other alternatives. He will be able to establish his life again and live happily. Is Z doing it right? No.

X doesn't care that jumping off the bridge is illogical, since for X it is the most logical decision in the world.

What Z really had to do was listen. He had to ask X why he was here, try to understand his feelings. Z had to ask why his wife left X, why he was fired from his job, how he felt and how difficult it was for him. So he would show that there are people who care about X. And only then can one bring arguments that can change the situation for the better.

People under stress absolutely do not care about your advice. They just need to talk. And you need to learn to listen to them.

Learn to listen. This simple skill can change not only your life, but also someone's life. Suddenly, one day you will find yourself in the place of Z.