Modern breakups: 5 reasons to end a relationship

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Many people see leaving the relationship as a defeat, as if you are signing your own incompetence. Don't be afraid to leave. Life is short.

Life is short. And you have to be able to. You have to be able to leave a bad film. Throwing a bad book. Walk away from a bad person.

Mikhail Zhvanetsky

Contrary to the well-known anecdote, even in the most hopeless situation, each of us has three whole paths. The first is to accept. This is a (kind of) way out. The second is to try to change something. Better now.

And the third one. Go away. The only option is when the first two don't work. Let's talk about him.

SAY STOP

# 1 When you are denied your personal

It's not even about jealousy as such (although it destroyed many alliances), but about the atmosphere of mistrust and possessiveness that an overly suspicious partner can create. This is a lover who takes offense when you go to a meeting with friends of the opposite sex. The girl who asks: "Why do you need porn?"

Where are you going? Who are you writing to? Why is your phone locked? You do not trust me? Oh, erotic dream, cool. Was he talking about me? What do you mean "no"?

It's not about you (if, of course, you really keep your promises to your partner). It's just that many are not ready to realize that every person has own space, including erotic.

If a girl forbids you to look (or at other girls on the street), if a young man's eye twitches nervously at the mention of your male friends, maybe porn (or a good vibrator) will give you more than that person on the other side of the bed.

And if it comes to reading your correspondence, run … Run as fast as you can. It will get worse further.

# 2 When you feel disrespectful and ashamed

These two feelings have killed more relationships than all the cheating combined. In fact, it is commonplace game with status.

When your partner humiliates you (your desires, dreams, work, hobbies, or your contribution to the family budget), he lowers your status in his and, ultimately, in your own eyes. Makes you feel worse, weaker, less worthy.

But Katya's husband earns more.

Do you know how ridiculous you look in this dress?

How long can you play video games? Are you seven years old?

Don't be a woman.

You are not a man - do not go.

This game has many forms, but if you feel that it is being played, it has been played for a long time, do not participate … Just leave before your "significant other" finally pecks out your self-esteem. Finding a new pair is easier and cheaper than enduring, and then painfully collecting yourself piece by piece.

# 3 When you don't know how to quarrel and make peace

All couples argue. The scandal is not the end of the world. But when any dispute goes on in a raised voice, when you or your partner take any nonsense to heart ("How can you not like Game of Thrones? Yes, you …") and especially when such clashes occur often and without a clear reason, there is reason to ask yourself:

Is this an anomaly, or is this our relationship?

# 4 When sex is systematically unhappy

I will not consider situations where partners do not know how to convey to each other what they want. This is a topic for a separate article. But what if you approached the question correctly? You are communicating, trying, looking for a way out. And everyone tries, and everyone wants to, but the "stone flower" does not come out. You have different rhythms, different instincts in bed. This happens.

Then it's time weigh the pros and cons … Do you want to spend with this person, if not your whole life, then, say, ten years? Are you ready to deny yourself good things for ten years? Getting it only in fantasy? Fake an orgasm? Ready to discuss the idea of sanctioned side sex?

If you sincerely, after digging into yourself properly, answer "yes", everything is in order. This is your choice. If not, perhaps it is better to rip off the metaphorical plaster now, while it is not yet very attached, to be sad and try to be happy with someone else.

# 5 When one wants kids and the other doesn't

At the beginning, I wanted to title this item like this: "When you have fundamentally different visions of the future." But she changed her mind. He wants to travel constantly, and I want to stay at home? You can work with this. He wants a big house off the beaten track, and I want to be in the thick of things? We'll come up with something. It won't work with children.

Of course, many live in the "someday" stage. Someday I want children, but not yet. You can work with this too. We are talking about cases where both partners have decided on this issue for life or for a large segment of it.

There are no compromises here. You cannot agree a little with a child, just like you cannot be a little pregnant. Either someone donates or someone leaves, and in most cases it is better to leave.

- this is a huge responsibility and great happiness. To place such a burden on someone who is not ready for it, as well as to deprive this happiness of someone who dreams of it, is cruel, and no one should face such a choice.

TOTAL

No union is destined to last forever. You can be sad about this, but this is the reality, and this does not mean that you should not seek and find love.

The problem is that many view leaving (even the tiresome and obsolete, even the deadly unhappy) as a defeat, as if you are signing your own incompetence. A relationship like this can last for years, and this is really sad.