4 steps to get rid of shame and fear

We experience these emotions every day and they get in our way

Fear and shame manifest themselves in different ways in life, for example:

We are dissatisfied with ourselves and our bodies, we are ashamed of our appearance.
We procrastinate and get distracted, and then we feel ashamed of our inattention.
We forget to exercise, read or eat right and are ashamed of it.
We rarely call loved ones and are ashamed again.
We are afraid of the unknown and get nervous when things don't go according to plan.
We worry,. Because of this, we perform worse and are ashamed of ourselves.
We are afraid to speak the truth or start frank conversations because we fear the consequences.
We avoid difficult tasks because we are afraid of discomfort.
We are nervous about an upcoming trip, meeting, party or project because we are afraid that something will go wrong.

Think about what your life would be like without these feelings. Imagine what kind of person you would become. What would you do differently if you weren't stopped by fear? Perhaps you would have taken more risks in business, tried yourself in something new, did not put off difficult things for later, and did not worry so much about the future.

Without being ashamed of yourself, you would be more confident, it would be easier for you to talk to strangers. You would live life in the present moment, and not dwell on past actions. You would be easier to relate to your mistakes.

Fear prevents us from doing what we want. Shame causes dissatisfaction with ourselves and our lives, prevents us from being happy.

A life without fear and shame will be more calm and confident. Learn to let go of them when they appear. Then they will no longer control you.

How to get rid of them

Step 1

Notice how it feels when you're scared or ashamed. Don't judge them, just watch. Remind yourself that this is not a problem, just a body reaction. Don't dwell on it. You will notice that these emotions are not that scary and there is no reason to hate them.

Step 2

Be curious about your feelings. What do they look like? What provoked them? You may be ashamed of yourself because you don't like something about yourself. Where did this discontent come from? For example, it seems to you that you should be perfect in everything or that you should be in complete control of your life.

Step 3

When you have identified the cause, reduce its influence on you. Think, is there any benefit from yours? Is it harmful? Why did he appear? Who would you be without it and its accompanying shame? Imagine yourself free of shame or fear, content with yourself, and calm. “Try on” this state like new clothes.

Step 4

Now check out what it is like to live in this state. Do you feel more confident, happier? Are you satisfied with yourself? See what changes. How will you act when you are not constrained by shame and fear?

Naturally, this process takes time. You will not be able to free yourself instantly. Repeat these steps when faced with fear or shame. Gradually, you will let go of what is preventing you from living a fulfilling life.