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2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44
Touch can convey a range of feelings, so it is important to apply it carefully and as intended. Psychologist Roni Beth Tower talks about what you need to know in order to use the language of touch accurately.
Parental hugs and strokes soothe the baby. The older brother leads the younger by the hand through an unsafe street. A slap on the shoulder means support. In our arsenal there are many different touches with which we express our feelings. These non-verbal ways of expressing love can be the most powerful and honest of all communication methods.
This is why touch shows love.
- It is a means of communicating with each other. In the womb, the child is surrounded by the mother, and the first thing that is born is taken in the arms, soothing him. Thus, from the first days, we learn to connect with the world by touch.
- This is a versatile way to control distance. For people who are in close relationships, it is important to be able to keep their distance - to spend time comfortably together and separately. Nothing will tell you as honestly as the touch of a loved one, whether he wants to spend time with you now or not, what mood he is in, and so on. Therefore, the lack of touch in a long-distance relationship is one of the main difficulties.
- Touch conveys information. Hand in hand has no less important meaning than words of support. Tactile contact is capable of transmitting information as well as speech.
- Oxytocin is released. It is a hypothalamic hormone that makes people more sympathetic to each other.
- Touch enhances the feeling of comfort and confidence. Touching loved ones reduces stress levels, as well as allows you to feel more secure, even fight infections and reduce pain.
Touches can be very different depending on what they express.
- Positive. They are understood correctly by everyone as an expression of affection: hugging, patting, kissing, stroking, massaging, and other caressing movements.
- Negative. Impulsive or deliberate, these touches usually communicate a desire to create distance in the most innocent way, or to hurt in the most toxic way. This is a hit, a slap, a push, a kick, a scratching, a jab, a bite.
- Ambiguous. These touches can be perceived in different ways. How they are perceived depends on the intention with which this touch is made and how sensitive the person concerned is, and most importantly, on the ability of people to understand each other without words. For example, a salesperson who deliberately touches the buyer's hand becomes a more pleasant person for some and encourages them to buy, but can scare others away forever. For one girl, pinching can be a sign of love for her, while for another it will be painful and offensive.
Things to Consider to Show Your Love Through Touch
Recognize personality traits
We are born with different temperaments, the basis of which is the threshold of sensitivity. The perception of different people differs in how strong and how much the impact should be in order to elicit a reaction from them, positive or negative. For example, for one, tickling is a game, while another person perceives it negatively and turns into torture. Understanding how your partner reacts to different types of touch shows your attention and respect, a desire to see him / her as a person with your own unique needs.
Communication
Touch is communication between people. It demonstrates an understanding of the desires and needs of the other, allows people to develop their own personal language. A husband squeezing his wife's hand helps her feel protected. Squeezing your hand during a tense moment in the film allows you to share emotion. A worried person will take his partner's hand and, feeling the warmth emanating from him, will calm down. We learn to understand a lot without words.
Respect for culture
Culture not only determines the meaning of different types of touches, but also the rules for their demonstration. These rules are the most critical to the ways of expressing feelings - often not announced by anyone, they tell whether a given sign is acceptable in public or not, whether it expresses love or hostility.
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