How to keep up a conversation if you have no idea what this is about

Think about what kind of reaction is expected from you

The interlocutors are very different. One will be quite satisfied with free ears and a rare nod of the head. But the other will require a meaningful response and an emotional response from you. Therefore, first of all, you need to understand what type of interlocutor you are dealing with.

This is easy to define. It is enough to observe the facial expressions and body language of a person, to follow his speech. In the book by Marina Butovskaya "Body Language: Nature and Culture" you can find a lot of useful information about non-verbal communication.

For example, dilated pupils and wide-open eyes can indicate increased interest and excitement. Raised eyebrows are also a sign of concentration and curiosity. Long-term eye contact will show that it is important for the person to be listened to carefully.

Active gesticulation in Russian and American cultures will tell about energy and desire to convey your point of view. And if you notice that the person is trying to move closer to you during the dialogue, then this indicates a desire to be heard.

It is also worth watching how the person speaks: pay attention to the timbre and intonation. The famous speaker Dale Carnegie wrote in his book “How to develop self-confidence and influence people by speaking in public” that the speech of those who want to interest you will be figurative and easy to understand. It can also be quick if the person is agitated and very passionate about the topic. A high voice or raising it will also indicate the other person's enthusiasm.

If you have identified at least a few of these signs of interest, then, with a high degree of probability, you will be required to respond and participate.

Try sincerely to understand the interlocutor

If the subject of the conversation is completely unclear for you or not fully understood, it will be very difficult to communicate with the person. This makes it doubly difficult to give out the emotional response that is expected of you. But if you do not show it, you may seem cold and indifferent.

To make it easier to understand a person, you can try to draw an analogy for yourself. It is enough to remember something similar from what excites and interests you. This will help you to feel the topic and be on the same wavelength with the interlocutor.

For example, the person you are talking to says that the car he recently bought disappointed him. And you have no license, and you know nothing about cars. But the speaker expects your participation.

Remember, you've probably experienced something similar too. Perhaps you have been let down by expensive equipment more than once. Refreshing these experiences and the feelings you have experienced can help you better understand the person and their problem.

This can be easily done by those in whom empathy is strong - the ability to feel the interlocutor and empathize with him. If you are not a skilled empath, then just try to put yourself in the speaker's shoes and be guided by their emotions. Try not to give judgments, give up judgments. Just listen carefully and give the other person absolute attention.

Admit that you didn't understand anything and ask for a recommendation on the topic

Honesty is the best policy, and that's the place to start. It's not a shame not to know something. But demonstrating enthusiasm and a desire to learn will not be superfluous. This will show the interlocutor what interests you.

Since the person, most likely, has studied the subject of the conversation up and down, it will not be difficult for him to advise you to read or watch something. Therefore, get ready to write down or ask to send you a list of sources by mail or on social networks. You can also ask what is special about them. Surely your interlocutor will be happy to share what he knows.

Clarify and ask questions

By asking questions and wanting to know the opinion of the interlocutor, you can please him. According to research, in most cases, the speaker will prefer talking about himself to any other topic.

At the same time, if you give him the opportunity to speak out and do not interrupt, then you will begin to look more attractive in his eyes. This approach will also help you gather the information you need to continue the dialogue.

If the interlocutor demands an answer from you, there is a universal solution. Say that you thought about something similar, but do not know how to relate to it. Or have not yet formed a full-fledged opinion on this issue. Move the arrows to the interlocutor. Ask what he or she thinks about this.

Don't interrupt

If you interrupt the interlocutor's speech, then you lose the opportunity to understand the topic and learn more. Doing so can upset or even anger him or her. As psychologist Joel Minden of the University of California, Chico explains, when a person interrupts, he unknowingly demonstrates his superiority. The interlocutor may perceive this negatively and feel that you want him to shut up. Or that your opinion is more important. This clearly will not endear the second participant in the conversation to you.

Ask for other opinions on this matter

One of the win-win options. As a rule, if a person tells something important, then he already has his own opinion on this topic. And for this he learned a lot or got some experience. As you become interested in other aspects of the issue, you will get a long monologue. First, you will be told about other points of view, and then - why they are wrong or far from the truth.

For example:

- Don't you think this book is boring?

- I admit it. But this is your opinion. And what do they write about her on the Internet? What do the critics say? Surely someone praises her.

Or this option:

- How do you like the new gadget?

- Do you think he's good? I can't decide yet. And what are the reviews about him? Did someone you know bought it?

While you listen to the answer, you will be able to expand your knowledge and delve into the topic fully.

Unobtrusively change the subject

Once your interlocutor has spoken out and laid out everything, you can translate the topic into something that is close to both of you. Do not change it drastically and abruptly - just transfer it to another direction. Let's say you're talking about buying a laptop and the pros and cons of certain models. But at the same time, you have absolutely no understanding of technology. Say you want to buy something else when the topic runs out. And continue the dialogue at ease.

In fact, it is important to remember that not knowing something is normal and not at all embarrassing. A person learns all his life. And if you haven't read or studied something, this does not mean that you are not ready to discover something new for yourself.