What different body parts can tell you about a person's feelings and motivations

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

An excerpt from a book by a former FBI agent on the secrets of human behavior.

Forehead

Frowning forehead

The appearance of folds on the forehead in response to a certain stimulus can be considered a reliable indicator that there are some questions or problems, or that a person feels insecure. A frowning forehead is usually associated with doubt, tension, anxiety, concern. Keep in mind that many people now use Botox for cosmetic purposes, and it prevents the appearance of wrinkles on the forehead and thus can mask a person's true feelings.

Pulsating veins in the temples

In stressful conditions, the superficial temporal veins (located closest to the skin on the temporal areas of the head a little further than the eyes) can pulsate noticeably. It is a very accurate indicator of autonomic nervous system arousal caused by anxiety, concern, fear, anger, or, in some cases, excitement. Thus, the brain automatically switches to survival mode in anticipation of intense physical activity, such as fleeing or fighting, and forces the heart and lungs to work faster.

Rubbing your forehead

We begin to massage the forehead with a headache, when we process information, or when something bothers us, it raises doubts. It is a form of calming behavior that helps relieve tension and anxiety.

Brows

Eyebrow greeting

We raise our eyebrows at the sight of a familiar person, if at the moment we cannot say hello to him or to show someone that we have noticed his presence. Raised eyebrows can be combined with a smile, depending on the circumstances. This is a sign of attention, and its absence is immediately evident, for example, when we walk into a store and the employee does not bother himself with the slightest attempt to establish eye contact. One movement of the eyebrows is enough to show the person: you appreciate his presence, even if you are busy at the moment.

Asymmetry of the eyebrows

This mimic gesture is used when there is doubt or uncertainty. One eyebrow crawls up, while the other remains in place or falls below its normal position. Asymmetry signals a person's distrust of what they are told. Jack Nicholson often does this in films and in life, expressing his disagreement with the interlocutor.

Skidded eyebrows

The part of the face between the eyes and just above the nose is called the glabella, and if it narrows or wrinkles, the most likely cause may be dissatisfaction or concern. This expression appears in a matter of seconds, and it is not always possible to notice it, but it accurately conveys emotions. It happens that, listening to something unpleasant or trying to comprehend what he has heard, a person frowns his eyebrows so much that they converge in one line. In written communication, this emotion is often depicted with a "> <" sign.

Eyes

Dilated pupils

When we are comfortable or like the person or object in front of us, our pupils dilate. This reaction cannot be controlled. Lovers enjoying each other's company also have their pupils dilated as their eyes try to absorb as much light as possible. This is why restaurants with dim lights are a good choice for a date, as it naturally softens our eyes and makes our pupils bigger, which helps us relax even more when we are with the other person.

Constricted pupils

Pupils constrict if we do not like what we see or we experience negative emotions. In eyes of light shades, constricted pupils are visible better than in dark ones. If a person's pupils have suddenly decreased to the size of a pinpoint, then some very unpleasant event has just happened. It is curious that in stressful situations the brain thus tries to focus the vision as much as possible - after all, the smaller the aperture, the clearer the image. That's why we squint when we want to get a better look.

Relaxed eye muscles

A calm, relaxed gaze indicates a state of comfort and confidence. When nothing bothers us, the muscles around the eyes, in the forehead and cheeks area relax, but at the slightest reason for irritation or anxiety, they instantly tense. This metamorphosis is especially noticeable in children: the baby suddenly wrinkles his whole face and begins to cry loudly.

When interpreting body language, always match your findings with the information expressed through the eyes of the observer. If the periorbital region looks relaxed, then most likely everything is fine. If the muscles around the eyes suddenly tense or the person narrows their eyes, it means that they are focused or under stress. The eye muscles and adjacent tissues react much faster than the rest of the muscles of the face to stress factors, instantly reflecting the internal state of a person.

Nose

Covering the nose with both hands

When a person suddenly covers their nose and mouth with both hands, it indicates shock, surprise, uncertainty, fear, doubt, or expectation of something bad. Such a gesture can be seen from participants or witnesses of road accidents or natural disasters, as well as from those who received terrible news. According to psychologists, this non-verbal reaction could have formed in the process of evolution, and its original purpose was to hide the breath from predators such as lions and hyenas. It is found everywhere.

Tapping on the nose

In many cultures, overt tapping on your nose with your index finger can mean, "This case smells bad," "I don't trust you," "This is a controversial statement," or "I'm watching you closely." It can also have the following meaning: “I see you”, “You are very smart”, “I am aware of your presence” (Paul Newman and Robert Redford made such signs to each other in the movie “Scam”).

Flaring of nostrils

We usually inflate the nostrils (the wings of the nose) in preparation for some kind of physical activity. If a person is upset about something, wants to jump up and run away, or is about to commit some aggressive action, he flares up his nostrils to saturate the body with oxygen. For police officers, this is a sign of readiness to flee. In a situation of interpersonal communication, such a mimic gesture may indicate that a person needs to be given time to calm down and pull himself together.

Lips

Full lips

The lips change shape and size depending on the emotional state. They shrink when we are tense; relax and become fuller when we are comfortable. Full, soft lips indicate relaxation and contentment. In a state of stress, blood drains from the lips and rushes to other parts of the body where it is needed most. Lip plumpness can serve as a barometer of a person's emotional state.

Licking lips

Rubbing our tongue against our lips soothes us as much as biting them. This behavior is usually associated with anxiety, worry, or negative emotions; however, the only problem is dry lips, so don't jump to conclusions. In some cases, this facial gesture is a sure sign of a stressful state. As a teacher, I often see him on examinations for poorly prepared students.

Pursed lips

During the day, when we are overcome by minor or major troubles, annoying thoughts and anxieties, lips narrow and tighten in unison with our inner experiences. Sometimes it is barely noticeable, sometimes so much that they turn white due to the blocked access of blood. Even if this movement is fleeting (takes twenty of a second), it still very accurately conveys a sudden negative emotion.

The chin

Chin raised high

A raised and protruding chin is a sign of confidence. In some European countries (in particular, in Germany, France, Russia and Italy), a raised chin is expressed pride, and in some cases - arrogance.

Dropped chin

If a person suddenly drops their chin in response to a question, they most likely lack self-confidence or feel threatened. Such a mimic gesture can be very expressive and unambiguous: for some people, the chin literally falls down when they hear bad news or think about something painful or bad.

Hidden chin

Typically, this non-verbal cue is used by children to hide embarrassment, displeasure, or upset. They press their chin to their neck and refuse to raise their heads, sometimes even crossing their arms over their chest. This is what adult men do when they stand angry face to face with an opponent, and sometimes they also shout at each other. In this case, the chin is designed to protect the neck in the event of physical confrontation.

Neck

Covering the jugular fossa

Touching the jugular fossa (a deepening at the point of convergence of the collarbones, under the Adam's apple, just above the sternum) or the desire to cover it with your hand betrays anxiety, discontent, anxiety, uncertainty or fear. Men tend to clutch at the throat or close the jugular cavity with their entire palm, straightening the tie knot or shirt collar. Women make this movement more often, but more gracefully than men, only with their fingertips.

The need to cover the most vulnerable spot on the body is a sign that something is wrong. Most likely, this element of non-verbal behavior was formed in the process of evolution as a result of numerous collisions of our ancestors with predators, aiming precisely at the neck. For more information, see my book I See What You Are Thinking.

Pulling shirt collar

The person straightens or fiddles with the collar of the shirt around the throat to calm down or relieve stress. The calming effect is created by a combination of three factors: the vulnerable spot is protected, the tactile stimulus is repeated, and the skin under the shirt is “ventilated”.

Massaging the vagus nerve

The vagus nerve connects the brain to the most important internal organs, including the heart. When stressed, people massage the side of the neck, near where we usually check our pulse. There is a reason for this: stimulating the vagus nerve leads to the release of acetylcholine, a neurotransmitter that sends a signal to the heart, in particular to the atrioventricular node, thereby reducing the heart rate.

Shoulders

One shoulder shrug

If a person, answering a question, raises one shoulder to his ear, most likely, he doubts or feels danger. In combination with other non-verbal signals (hesitates with the answer, presses his hands tighter to the body), this is a sign of insufficient confidence in his words. When a question like "What price are you willing to offer?" and the representative of the responding party shrugs one shoulder, which means you can bargain. A raised shoulder when answering implies some doubts about one's own words.

Flirty shoulder

If a person slowly raises one shoulder, while tilting his head towards him and looking directly into the eyes of the interlocutor, then he is demonstrating personal interest. Most often, this gesture can be seen on dates, and it is usually characteristic of women.

Short shrug

When a person hears a question and does not know the answer, he raises both shoulders up with a quick and expressive movement. A short upward movement is one of the forms of behavior that contradicts the law of universal gravitation, and they are usually associated with positive emotions: in this case, a person does not hide his ignorance and is not at all shy about it. This gesture is more sincere than a slow shrug (combined with an “I don’t know” answer) or a hesitant shrug with just one shoulder.

Hands

Vigorous gestures

It reflects our emotions and draws attention to us. Broad gestures enhance the impact of our words and make communication more dynamic. In many cultures, it is customary to highlight accents with exaggerated gestures. To an outside observer, it may seem that a person who is vigorously waving his arms is about to rush into a fight, when in reality he is only trying to communicate more expressively.

Hands behind your back

Royal pose - hands behind the back. Queen Elizabeth, Prince Charles and other members of the British royal family stand and walk in this way when they want to keep their distance between themselves and others. All the rest - mere mortals - in the same way subconsciously make it clear that they need more personal space. This is not the best way to get closer to the person, as this gesture is usually associated with detachment. Curiously, young children do not like it when their parents hide their hands behind their backs.

Hand sinking

A reaction to fear or a strong impression of what has happened can be a sudden freeze of the hands. They hang motionless along the body, making a person look like a robot. Frozen hands are a clear sign that a person has just experienced a negative event.

Torso and belly

Rubbing the clavicle

In a state of stress, the person begins to rub the collarbone with the opposite hand (for example, puts the right hand on the left collarbone). A hand crossing the chest obliquely gives a feeling of security, and repeated touching the collarbone has a calming effect. This area of the body is very sensitive to touch - one of the reasons it is considered an erogenous zone.

Lightning manipulation

If a person is playing with zipper on a sweater or jacket, they may be tense and thus trying to calm themselves down. Students do this before an exam if it makes them anxious, and poker players use this move when they worry about money slipping through their fingers. Note that this behavior can be both calming and a way to deal with boredom.

Hull deflection

By deflecting the body from the interlocutor, the person symbolically and physically distances himself. We deviate if we disagree with what has been said. This behavior is often seen on talk shows. We ourselves do not always notice to what extent we distance ourselves from people unpleasant to us.

Legs

Territorial invasion

During a heated argument, a person can unintentionally invade your personal space, stopping just a dozen centimeters from your face, bulging out his chest with a wheel and glaring angrily with his eyes. Violation of other people's territorial boundaries serves as a method of intimidation and can be a harbinger of physical attack.

Corner offset

Most people prefer to talk to the interlocutor, slightly shifted to the side, rather than directly face to face. Children, getting to know each other, usually approach from the side, and for good reason: this is how they are better received. I have noticed that when business people are face to face and with a slight offset, their communication lasts longer. Please note that if there are signs of irritation, it is better to stand in front of the interlocutor at an angle: this will help reduce the intensity of passions.

Pacemaker

Whoever sets the pace of movement in a group of several people is usually the leader among them. We speed up or slow down to match the oldest group member or leader. Even teenagers do this: they adjust to the pace of walking of the most socially active member of the company. He can go first or last; in the second case, the whole group, obeying him, tries to slow down the pace. When analyzing the behavior of the group, remember that the leader is not the one who is in front, but rather the one who sets the pace.

The Body Language Dictionary is the first of its kind to guide non-verbal communication. Its author, Joe Navarro, spent 25 years as an FBI special agent and underwent many interrogations.

In a new book, he described over 400 elements of non-verbal communication. From it you will learn how to recognize a person's feelings by subtle changes in the pupils, how to interpret gestures, as well as many other interesting facts about decoding the signals of the human body.

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