What to do if the child is naughty

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

If the child is unhappy, annoyed and makes you white-hot, yelling and swearing will not help. Gather all your will in a fist and try to find out the reason.

Every child, even the most obedient, from time to time turns from an angel into a little monster. He gets annoyed, nervous, constantly repeating: “I don’t want to! I won't! I do not like! Do not … "And each new" not "raises the degree of heat, and your nervous system gradually boils.

Intellectually, you understand that an explosion of emotions will not lead to anything good, but another whim is triggered by a catalyst, and, like Mentos, thrown into a glass of Coca-Cola, the smooth surface turns into a splashing fountain. From this it becomes bad for both children and adults.

What to do? Where to get patience? How to prevent conflicts with such dear and loved ones, with our children?

You can't scold, understand

When you feel your patience is running out, say stop to yourself. Take a few deep breaths (preferably holding your breath for a few seconds). And then try to determine the cause of the baby's nervous state. Then eliminate it. In most cases, you can easily prevent conflict.

As a rule, the child does not behave the way you expect, not because he wants to harm, but because he has a reason to do so. Don't scold him. It is possible that he refuses to do what you want because of the high temperature. Or he is thirsty. Or the shadows on the wall scared him.

Causes of children's irritability

1. Too much unused energy has accumulated

If the child has been without active movement for a long time, for example, watching a play or sitting motionless during the move in the car, he must throw out everything that has gathered during this time. It is unnatural for a child to be in a static position for a long time. It is like a river that is bubbling and must be in motion.

What to do. Give him the opportunity to run, jump, climb. Any exercise will help relieve this kind of tension.

2. The child is agitated and has unpleasant emotions

The kid may be scared, but you will not even notice it. Or get angry, or worry about something. And, of course, all these emotions will break out in the form of a bad mood. Not every adult is able to control his feelings and not splash out negativity on others. What can we say about children.

Despite the fact that for adults, childhood reasons for disorders often seem frivolous, they need to be treated with care and respect. Do not convince the child that this is a trifle. Since the reason has caused such a reaction, then it deserves attention.

What to do. Tell him you understand him. That you, too, would be scared (angry) and maybe even more. Then try to shift his attention to something positive.

3. The child is hungry or thirsty

It would seem that it could be easier - to understand that your baby is hungry. But the main difficulty is that not all children are aware of the desire to eat or drink. They feel uncomfortable, but don't understand why.

What to do. Ask regularly, suggest, and sometimes insist. This is especially true for drinks on a hot day.

4. The child is tired

There are many reasons for fatigue in children. In addition to physical ones (long walks or prolonged active games), there are also emotional ones. The child gets tired if he is not interested in what is happening or if the action lasts a very long time. Also, the child may get tired of an excess of positive emotions. Parents are often at a loss if, after visiting an amusement park, ice cream and all kinds of entertainment, the child growls and gets angry. And the answer is simple: a lot of good things are also bad.

What to do. It is necessary to give the child the opportunity to rest or switch from one activity to another.

5. The child is sick

Sometimes it happens that in the morning the baby is cheerful, sociable. And then suddenly everything changes, as if a toggle switch was suddenly switched. He begins to be capricious, cry, resist.

What to do. Take a closer look at the baby. Feel your forehead, measure your temperature and, if justified, see your doctor.

6. The child wants to insist on his own

Everyone wants to feel important, including children. Even the smallest are already individuals with their own opinions and views. Children want to manage the situation at least occasionally and make decisions on their own. Where to go, what to wear, what toys to take with you, what route to take, what to order in a cafe. This boosts their self-esteem.

What to do. Agree with the child if it doesn't matter to you. If you cannot accept what the child insists on, explain why.

7. The child copies adults

Each person is unique, with his own set of qualities, and no two people are alike. But the environment corrects us, like sea water stones. Unconsciously, we imitate each other and become similar.

I once heard about an experiment conducted by American psychologists. Two people in a good mood were invited to an isolated room. They met and began to communicate. A third entered the room - with a bad mood. He silently sat down on an empty chair and did not show himself in any way. I did not move, did not speak, did not take part in the conversation. However, the mood of the other two participants in the experiment soon soured.

For children, the family and close environment are like such a room. If mom and dad are annoyed, nervous or angry, then the child will very soon do the same. Children are sensitive to our moods, they absorb everything.

What to do. Watch yourself and control your emotions.

Useful Tips

Sometimes it happens that children require constant attention to themselves, stick and do not give a step without them to step.

The most common reasons for this behavior are:

• Boring. Try changing your child's occupation or find the right company for him.
• I can't wait to share an important thought. Just listen.
• I want to be praised. Finally, pay attention to what the child has been trying to show or tell for so long, and praise.

It is important to distinguish a reasonable demand from a whim and act accordingly. If the child is selfishly demanding that the world revolve only around him, explain that he is wrong. He must take into account the interests of all family members as well as they do.

In a conflict situation, always start with an explanation and, if possible, give a choice. Only then can the child be forced. Sometimes you have to scold, but this should be done in the very last place.

When you explain something to children, it is important to make sure that they understand you correctly and that you mean the same thing.

Once we were going to go to the sea. In the evening we decided to leave in the morning. The three-year-old son was told about the trip already in the car, since they did not want to upset if something went wrong.

Hearing that we were going to the sea for four days, the son began to cry and shout: “I don’t want to! Turn back! We're going home! In confusion, we stopped near a roadside cafe. He ate a cake, ran, calmed down a bit. Then we agreed that we would reach the sea and just look at it. If he does not like it there, we immediately turn back.

And when we arrived at the place and checked into the apartment, the child's mood changed dramatically. He began to have fun, hum, took toys out of his backpack and began to lay them out. And then it turned out that the son decided that we would live near the sea on the sand, like the characters of the cartoon that he had recently watched. And that scared him very much. And we settled in a house with beds, and this kind of rest suits him. For us, this case became a good lesson: we must always clarify whether we understand each other correctly.

If the situation is heating up and patience is about to burst, try to pause before scolding the child. Count to ten. Ask yourself, “Why? Who will get better from this?"

And learn to say no. Do it rarely, but firmly. Say that you understand his desire, and then explain briefly and clearly why you cannot now do what he wants. The child will understand. If he continues to insist (which children often do), use his own techniques. Just repeat, "No, no, no."