12 ways to calm down when everything pisses off

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Take a deep breath and control your anger.

We are all angry. A colleague interrupted at a meeting, a boss refused a promotion, a loved one let you down in a difficult moment - you probably began to get annoyed just remembering how something similar happened to you. And sometimes the feeling of anger is necessary. It empowers you to protect yourself and others in the face of injustice. It's a legitimate emotion, and you shouldn't judge yourself for it.

But there is no need to blindly succumb to it. Sometimes anger is paralyzing so that you cannot do anything and you lose control of the situation. Try one of the following methods to calm yourself down when you feel overwhelmed again.

1. Ask yourself if your anger is reasonable

Take a few deep breaths and think about why you are angry.

"Before trying to get rid of anger, try to determine how reasonable it is," advises psychologist Lauren Appio. - Would it be natural for another person to be angry in such a situation? If so, so are you. Such recognition does not mean that now you can lose your temper. It just helps you understand your own needs."

2. Consider if anger masks other feelings

For example, fear, pain, or embarrassment. These emotions make us feel weak, and we want to hide them. Try to breathe through your anger, but do nothing under its influence. Look under it. If you find another feeling there, deal with it: accept your feelings, change the situation, or express needs. Then the anger will subside.

3. Leave the room

Change your environment or simply walk away from whatever is fueling your anger. According to psychotherapist Anita Avedian, a walk in nature is especially useful in this case. It will help your body produce endorphins, hormones of joy that reduce pain.

If a fit of anger occurs during an argument, do not leave silently. Let me know that you need to be alone, and let me know when you will be back approximately.

4. Talk to your inner child

Don't dismiss this advice. According to psychologist Margaret Paul, being angry with another person can be a signal that you are not taking care of yourself in a difficult situation. Talking to your inner child will help you determine what is wrong and be kinder to yourself.

“Imagine the angry part of you is a hysterical kid who really needs compassion,” Paul advises. - Imagine hugging him with kindness and sympathy. Ask him why he is mad at you. Didn't you stand up for yourself? Did you make a concession instead of honestly expressing your opinion? Are you ignoring your negative experiences? Once you understand the cause of your anger, it will be easier for you to let it go.

5. Identify the physical signals of your anger

Most people don't realize their anger until they do what it pushes them to do. Most likely, you also fell for someone, and then marveled at your behavior. To prevent this from happening again, watch how your body physically expresses the emotion. For example, you tighten your shoulders or jaw, bite your lip, or clench your hands into fists. Or maybe you lose the ability to think clearly and see only the object of your anger.

Write down these signals - this will help you quickly recognize them in the future. And to deal with these physical manifestations right now, breathe deeply and try to relieve muscle tension.

6. Relax your body

Tense the muscles in different parts of the body for five seconds, and then relax. Move in order: shoulders, forearms, hands, hips, legs, feet. This will help relieve physical stress and calm down.

7. Watch something funny

Surely you have been in a situation when, in the midst of a quarrel, a loved one suddenly joked and the atmosphere was instantly discharged. Of course, if you are fighting about something serious, it will probably only complicate matters. But if you're pissed off about a trifle like unwashed dishes, it may well work. Try watching an episode of your favorite sitcom or a funny YouTube video. It is possible that the anger will evaporate.

8. Listen to yourself

Maybe you didn't get enough sleep, had a hard day, or are you just hungry? In such a state, it is easy to get angry about some little thing, misunderstand the words of others and react with irritation. Therefore, it is worth taking a nap or meal before starting a difficult conversation or going out to meet someone who might piss you off.

9. Consider if the object of your anger is really trying to hurt you

We've all taken a friend or partner's remarks too harshly at one point or another, especially if we felt bad or worried about work. Before you react, stop and assess if this person really wanted to hurt you. Most likely, you will notice that your tense brain just perceived this as a threat and tried to protect you. This will cool the anger.

10. Write a letter to the person you are angry with

And don't post it. This will allow you to express emotions, but do it in a constructive way. Just do not write a message in a messenger or e-mail: you can accidentally send them and then regret for a long time (for example, if you are angry with your boss). Better to use paper and pen.

11. Turn on the music

A favorite song, especially if it's associated with happy memories, can help dispel your anger. Music can transform emotions. In addition, you can dance to it and let off some extra steam.

12. Take care of yourself

If you don't get enough sleep, overwork, eat poorly, exercise little, and spend time with loved ones, the likelihood of getting angry quickly is very high. Taking care of yourself will help you become more balanced.

So make time for yourself, no matter how impossible it may seem with your schedule. Ask for help. Take a walk. Go to bed early. You deserve to live without constant stress and anger.