4 tips from a former drunk to help you quit drinking and not run wild

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Blogger Claire Gillespie gave up drinking and, seven months later, revealed how it changed her relationship with others.

Telling your friends that you are quitting drinking is sometimes more difficult than giving up alcohol. Being sober is a decision that affects more than just your health and emotional well-being. It will change your social life. Throughout my life, alcohol has been an integral part of all gatherings, from family dinners and weddings to barbecues and birthdays.

It wasn't until I stopped drinking that I realized how many social events revolve around drinking.

Or it was only for me, a drunkard whose social world revolved around alcohol. I drank too much and it affected my relationships and my career, sucked the life out of me. And so I stopped. When I quit drinking, I had no idea what to expect and was afraid of the worst.

After seven months of sobriety, I still try to avoid places where there is alcohol. And it's not about temptation. It's just that I'm no longer interested in watching others get drunk. I've learned a thing or two over the months and I want to give you some tips.

1. Do not expect that everything will remain the same

Your social life will change, but that's good because you will change too. The turning point for me was the acceptance that this is a significant step and I cannot hide it from others. I recovered from one of the worst addictions in the world, moved from being the most drunk person at a party to being almost the only sober one. Of course, these are global changes.

2. Know that confidence will grow over time

Before, alcohol guaranteed me safety in any situation that required contact with people. Holidays, family gatherings, work meetings created discomfort. As for sober dates, the very thought of it frightens me to this day, although I met my fiancé before I quit drinking.

In the end, the fear of losing that security was my main reason to keep drinking. I will not lie, it was alarming at social events in the early days of sobriety. And I had to pretend that everything was in order. But every day the confidence in the correctness of my decision is growing, and I feel calmer.

3. Trust your friends

Avoiding alcohol can affect friendships. Some people I knew took time to adjust to my new lifestyle. Some left and that was not a problem. I think the situation with alcohol only accelerated the gap, which was already brewing. But real friends were with me when I passed out at parties and felt sick in the taxi. They stayed with me now.

I also make new friendships. Because without drunkenness and a hangover, I had time for yoga, swimming, blogging. Clinical addiction expert John Mendelssohn calls this "a new social world where booze isn't the only goal of the party."

Dinners, corporate parties, and any clearly alcohol-related events can be a problem for people who have found sobriety. Therefore, you need a plan if you are going to attend them.

John Mendelssohn Clinical Addiction Expert

Mendelssohn advises wearing your own soft drinks. I always have pink lemonade or ginger beer with me, which are in the glove compartment of my car. You can also take a teetotal ally with you.

4. Have a backup plan

It is better to predict in advance how great the risk of failure is. And if there is such a possibility, you should refuse to attend the party. So says Mark Willenbring, who headed the research department of the National Institute for the Study of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism from 2004 to 2009. And in any case, an "evacuation" plan must be prepared in case something goes wrong. “If you feel that you are about to break, - leave. There is nothing good in testing willpower,”he said.

Willenbring advises preparing answers in case you are asked why you do not drink. For example, you might say that you feel better when you don't drink alcohol. If that doesn't work and your friends pressure you and insist on drinking, it's worth considering whether you need this relationship.

For many people, sobriety is the norm. They make friends because of similar interests. If your social group is built around alcohol, it can be difficult to gain recognition for behaviors not practiced by its members. People who are thinking about sober lifestyles should probably find a more suitable company for themselves.

Mark Willenbring alcohol addiction expert

Sometimes you just need to stay at home and focus on yourself. The only non-drinker I knew in real life told me, "The only conversation you really need is self-talk." And this must be remembered by those who are just taking the road of sobriety.