What to do if everything pisses off

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Sometimes, to calm down, it is enough to inflate the balloon. But if irritability persists for a long time, perhaps this is a symptom of a serious illness.

This article is part of the One-on-One Project. In it we talk about relationships with ourselves and others. If the topic is close to you, share your story or opinion in the comments. Will wait!

You leave the entrance in the morning and grumble because there is slush on the street. On the way to the bus stop, you start to get angry about the smokers, who envelop you in cigarette smoke. At the bus stop, you slowly boil because the bus is several minutes late. When you finally find yourself inside, you literally shake with anger, because there are so many people around: everyone is talking, listening to music, rustling packages, bumping your elbows.

On the way, of course, you get terribly angry about the damn traffic jams when you get to work - because the cleaning lady in the office did not wipe the floor under your desk, too much mail came and new tasks piled up. Even in the dining room, as luck would have it, these stupid cutlets were again prepared, and your colleague, without any reason, went home 10 minutes before the end of the working day.

And so it is constantly, from morning to evening, from Monday to Sunday. Sound familiar? Let's figure out how to get out of this state.

1. Analyze what exactly pisses you off

If you are constantly irritated and it seems to you that literally everything in the world can piss you off, this may be an illusion. It is likely that you are angry about specific things, and only then the bad mood spreads to the rest.

Once in a relaxed environment, try asking yourself what usually annoys you the most, what you are unhappy with in your life, and what you would like to get rid of.

Perhaps this is traffic jams - because you have to wait, be afraid of being late, become infected with the anxiety of others, and you can hardly influence the situation. Or maybe an overcrowded transport causes fits of anger: it is uncomfortable, there is nothing to breathe, people around are pushing.

Or everything is a little deeper and you hate your job, and therefore even the way there annoys you. But on weekends, when you don't need to go anywhere, you feel great.

It is useful to define specific triggers to further work with your state. A diary of emotions will help in this, where you will briefly write down what you feel and what events preceded this several times a day. It is better to immediately notice the physical condition, the phase of the menstrual cycle, the quality of sleep, sports training - this way the cause-and-effect relationships will become more obvious to you.

2. Deal with annoying factors

If you already know exactly what it is that pisses you off, in general you have three ways to influence the situation:

• try to change it so that it becomes easier;
• leave;
• accept everything as it is and try to change your attitude towards her.

Here's how it might look in specific circumstances.

What infuriates	Possible way out
Public transport, traffic jams, crowds.	Find a job within walking distance from home; move closer to your current job; go to a remote location.
Neighbors with punchers, barking dogs, screaming children.	Forgive for chic soundproofing; move to a private house, where no one except you will drill and make noise.
Garbage scattered in the neighboring public garden.	More often "kick" the management company; hang up notices around the house calling for order; gather neighbors for a cleanup.
A loved one does not twist the toothpaste cap.	Stick a reminder note on the mirror; buy a paste with a snap-on lid.

You need to decide what is more comfortable for you. It is possible that it will be easier to completely remove the irritant from your life than to accept it.

3. Learn to express emotions

At the moment when you are overwhelmed by irritation, psychologists recommend giving it a non-destructive outlet - so as not to harm yourself and others, not to quarrel with anyone and not do things.

Here are some options:

• Go in for sports. Take at least a short run or do some push-ups. Various studies Relationships between Exercise Behavior and Anger Control of Hospital Nurses; Reducing Aggression and Improving Physical Fitness in Adolescents Through an After-School Volleyball Program; Exercise and its Impact on Anger Management in small groups shows that exercise can help cope with anger and irritation.
• Splash all the negative onto the paper. Describe in detail what infuriates, why, and what disgusting people are all around.
• Start cleaning. Repetitive movements, the noise of the water, the visible effect - all these can help to calm down.
• Inflate the balloon. This is a simpler and more fun alternative to breathing exercises, which can be difficult to do when irritated.
• Engage your hands and brain. Playing on the phone, knitting, drawing - whatever you want to help you switch.
• Go outside. An energetic walk in the fresh air will give you a release of energy, help you distract yourself and put your thoughts on the shelves.
• Talk to someone. It's great if you have a loved one who you can call and complain about how you got sick of everything.
• Spend time with yourself. It's great if you manage to go to a separate room, where it will be quiet, so that you can catch your breath and calm down.

4. Understand the psychological reasons

Irritability can be associated with your inner feelings and attitudes. For example, like this:

• You are stuck in a toxic relationship.
• Your personal boundaries are being systematically violated.
• You are not satisfied with what you are doing.
• You suffer from perfectionism and try to do everything perfectly.
• You are not making time for yourself and your desires.
• You have emotional burnout.

Any of these reasons are quite serious and require a lot of attention. Something you can handle on your own, and if not, consider seeing a psychologist. Especially take a look at specialists who work in a cognitive-behavioral approach. It is considered effective for managing anger and irritability.

5. Get a medical examination

Irritability is a normal feeling, every person experiences it periodically. But if the state of "infuriates everything" has become a constant companion, causes you significant discomfort and interferes with interacting with people, it may be time to pay attention to your health.

Chronic irritability has several biological causes, from harmless to very serious:

• stress;
• anxiety
• premenstrual syndrome,
• menopause,
• bipolar disorder;
• depression;
• schizophrenia;
• diabetes;
• hyperthyroidism (excess thyroid function);
• polycystic ovary syndrome;
• insomnia and sleep deprivation;
• severe fatigue;
• toothache;
• migraine;
• low blood sugar;
• acute respiratory illness;
• alcoholism;
• withdrawal syndrome when quitting smoking, alcohol or caffeine.

Some of these conditions are easy to diagnose on your own and even eliminate them. Most likely, you do not need to go to the doctor to realize that you are tired, did not get enough sleep, or that you will start menstruating in a couple of days.

If you are constantly irritated and do not find external reasons for this yourself, consult with a doctor, or better with several: therapist, neurologist, endocrinologist, psychotherapist. Specialists will conduct an initial examination, prescribe an instrumental or laboratory examination and try to find the reasons.

It is especially important to see a doctor as soon as possible if your symptoms are not only irritability, but also physical manifestations: pain, shortness of breath, sweating, constant thirst, heart palpitations, rapid weight gain or loss.

6. Place the straws

If you can't get rid of annoying factors, and you have to deal with them all the time, look for ways to make the situation more pleasant for yourself.

For example, get out of the house early and listen to audiobooks or podcasts on the subway. So there will be fewer people around, and you, carried away by the plot, will not pay too much attention to them. Bring coloring books, knitting or a book with you if you know you will have to wait and it pisses you off.