How to stop being afraid of old age

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

A whole set of experiences is associated with old age: we are afraid of losing health, beauty, sanity, financial well-being. Let's figure out how to deal with this.

Why are we afraid of old age

They say that Russians in any country in the world can be recognized by the worried expression on their faces. And I think there is some truth in this. We do not know how to live here and now - we always think in the future and dramatically experience every moment of it.

Concern about tomorrow is inherited by us from past generations. Psychologists have even come up with a name for this phenomenon - "transgenerational transmission." In times of war, repression, devaluations and coups, it was vital to think a few moves ahead. And in order to have the strength to cope with everyday hardships, it was required to remain healthy and young. To be old meant to become weak, destitute, and perish.

In favor of the fact that the fear of the coming age is precisely inherited from the parental generations, it is also evidenced by the fact that it is experienced by people under 40 years of age. That is, a person does not have his own experience of experiencing old age, he is liquid in the labor market, runs in the morning and regularly has sex, but every time he looks at the elderly, he internally twitches! Because the "ancestral memory" of old years in illness and need is archived in our unconscious. Being old is scary.

Sociologists do not indulge the topic of fears with attention. The latest survey, when Russians were asked the question “What are you most afraid of?”, Was conducted by the Levada Center in October 2017. So, two years ago, the fear of old age in the survey results was in fifth place, after the fear of becoming poor and losing working capacity - which, in fact, are synonyms of old age.

The fear of old age is like a layered cake. This is not only about facial wrinkles and high blood pressure. First of all, this is a story about loss - beauty, health, ability to work, friends and relatives, life itself, in the end. About accepting oneself as another, somewhat imperfect. And of course, about the feelings that accompany changes: loneliness, helplessness, fatigue, envy, resentment, anger and indignation - everyone will find something to add to this list.

A good diagnostic sign is that we are dealing with fear, not anxiety. Anxiety is a vague state that makes you lousy at heart. Sounds like a foreboding. Fear is the fear of something specific. It is quite an identified enemy, with which you can fight if you wish.

Fighting the fear of old age often begins with what, at the very least, a person can control: with sports, Botox injections and other "mesotherapy". When you have dice on your abs and a smooth forehead, convince yourself that you are still “Wow! Young! Alive, smoking room!”Is much easier.

When fear turns into a phobia

Everyone has a secret box of fears. Looking into it, we experience a fleeting feeling of sadness, slight sadness or excitement. Mentally healthy people don't think about their fears all the time.

If fear completely takes over consciousness, it takes the form of a phobia. Passion for the process of rejuvenation becomes manic: diets, exhausting loads in the gym, plastic surgery.

It also happens the other way around. The young man argues: "I am already 30, I am old, why strive for something?" And he refuses new projects, acquaintances, ceases to look after himself. The fear of getting old is so great that the person tries to play out the inevitable scenario as soon as possible.

In especially advanced cases, the obsessive fear of aging is manifested by panic attacks, anxiety disorder, depression, and tantrums. But even these diseases can be cured with the help of psychotherapy.

How to stop being afraid of old age

Old age is the logical and inevitable end of our life. You can choose for yourself whether it will be lonely and gloomy or active and joyful. As in the case of retirement savings, a lot depends on how you manage your life resources right now. And if we cannot turn back time, then we are able to take care of preserving and increasing the most important assets, so that when we turn 60 we will have something to do.

In connection with the onset of old age, a variety of negative feelings and thoughts can visit us. But they can be transformed into a strength that will help keep you active and in a good mood, despite the years.

Let's analyze and neutralize the main concerns that cause us to think about old age.

1. Loss of beauty

• Destructive feelings: despair, annoyance, irritation, contempt, indignation, envy.
• We transform into constructive feelings: self-worth, respect, acceptance, gratitude, self-love, tenderness.

Self-love is an inner state. You can look at yourself in the mirror and have fun, or you can be dissatisfied even with elastic skin and a full body.

Usually women are worried about their appearance. It is believed that "men, like good wine, only get better with age."

This, of course, is far from the case. In the modern world, it is difficult to define beauty: standards are changing rapidly. But individuality does not depend on time and age.

Vivid examples are age models. Carmen Dell'Orefiche, Linda Rodin, Benedetta Barzini prove by their example that years are not an obstacle to an active life, career and irresistible appearance.

After all, we are living in an advanced time, and anti-aging treatments are available to everyone. But it's important not to overdo it.

2. Loss of reason

• Destructive feelings:anxiety, confusion, shame, despair, pity, hopelessness, alienation.
• We transform into constructive feelings:hope, curiosity, kindness, pride.

One of the manifestations of aging is the loss of habitual brain functions. Not only memory and speed of reaction depend on the state of the thinking organ, but also the work of the endocrine, immune, and nervous systems. We can say that brain health is the source of longevity for the body as a whole.

We spend up to 80% of our active time in a state of light trance, “out of habit”. Habit reduces the ability of the brain. Indeed, to work effectively, he needs new experiences and tasks that involve all five senses. Therefore, do not be lazy to learn something new, pay more attention to self-development, learn new technologies. Look for hobbies that will generate income, move you forward and keep your brain from aging.

In the process of learning, different parts of the brain develop, new neural connections are created. It is the number of neural circuits in the brain, and not its volume, that plays a decisive role in the development and preservation of intelligence.

You shouldn't have questions in your head "What to do?" and "What to do?" Develop, gain "juice" so that even in old age you will be a demanded specialist, enjoy your work and have a wide circle of contacts. The lack of meaning in life can turn even a 25-year-old man into an old man.

3. Loss of health and physical strength

• Destructive feelings: despair, indignation, resentment, rage, humiliation, horror, grief, regret, sadness.
• We transform into constructive feelings: delight, revitalization, liberation, interest, care, self-love.

“What kind of training at 50, - you say, - if already at 30 it gets dark in the eyes, when you suddenly get up from the couch?” Yes, and in adolescence, you can die of cancer. The fear of disease, doctors and physical weakness is most inherent in men, because they are used to being strong and reliable for their loved ones.

Even the ancient Greeks talked about the connection between the soul and the body. First of all, the state of our health depends on the unconscious. If you do not work out your stresses with a psychotherapist in a timely manner, you do not have enough rest, you fill your problems with alcohol, unquenched mental pain accumulates in the unconscious and sooner or later forms there a complex structure consisting of negative stimuli that trigger physiological and autonomic reactions. They are the ones that cause disease.

The most sensitive systems responsible for communication with the outside world usually react first - nervous, cardiovascular, immune-endocrine. And after them everything else crumbles.

Your body is a complex machine, but you are its master. Maintain a lifestyle in which the body can easily remain healthy, energized, strong. I will not write here about proper nutrition, sports and regular check-ups with a doctor - you already know this without me.

4. Loss of self-importance

• Destructive feelings: despair, anger, shame, indignation, shyness, sadness, helplessness.
• We transform into constructive feelings: friendliness, interest, kindness, trust, sincerity, mutual assistance, sympathy, respect.

The presence of broad social ties in old age is many times more important than in other age periods. When there is no one to talk to, share news, discuss experiences, a person ceases to feel "needed", self-esteem decreases, self-confidence falls.

Despite the fact that with age it is more difficult for us to get along with people and make new acquaintances, it is necessary to strive to have a versatile circle of friends, not to avoid participating in public events, to maintain relationships, and to develop communication skills.

Friends are always easy to find at a variety of courses, master classes, circles. When a person communicates, he has an interest in life, desires, dreams and aspirations appear. Through communication, a person realizes the following needs: approval, security, information, gratitude, emotion, attention, respect and recognition of competence.

Look around. Surely you will pay attention to energetic old men and women who lead an active lifestyle: they visit the pool, gather for the holidays, travel. You can live a full life at any age, if you wish.

5. Loss of sex appeal

• Destructive feelings: disappointment, regret, shame, anger, envy, indignation, despair, fear.
• We transform into constructive feelings: self-love, acceptance, admiration, respect, care, happiness.

The main aphrodisiac of old age is not at all elastic buttocks, but dignity and intelligence. You've probably heard stories when people over 50 find their happiness and even get married.

Love, in turn, helps to maintain youth. You just need to want it. Dissatisfaction with life, grumbling, sadness and anger turn anyone into a grandfather or grandmother. To remain attractive to the opposite sex, radiate more positive emotions. Sincere, friendly, enthusiastic, happy people attract attention at any age.

Sexual attraction is promoted by a healthy lifestyle and body hygiene, not by short skirts and unbuttoned shirts, which after 40 may look inappropriate.

Use affirmations. At the very least, they stimulate you to draw attention to yourself and take care of yourself. For example: “I look great,” “I have good skin,” “I am at my ideal weight,” “I remain vigorous, fresh and energetic,” and so on.

6. Loss of financial well-being

• Destructive feelings: horror, despair, helplessness, hopelessness, bitterness, humiliation, irritation, anxiety, greed.
• We transform into constructive feelings: care, interest, passion, gratitude, self-confidence, responsibility.

Delirium of impoverishment is one of the most common psychiatric disorders in older women. That is why some grandmothers hide food under the mattress and fill the pantry with supplies. Men, by the way, suffer from the delusions of jealousy to the same extent.

Sources of income in old age are really limited: these are pension, disability benefits, material assistance. It is worth taking care of financial well-being in old age while you are young. What will feed you? Renting out apartments, interest on deposits, your own business. For some, their own children are a successful investment project that ensures a dignified old age.

Life is not eternal. The day will come for each of us when we leave this world. But about someone they will say "Finally, I have suffered …", while others will be admired and set as an example even after death. Let us wish each other a long youth that does not contradict wise maturity.