13 tips for becoming a good conversationalist

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Working methods from the 19th century etiquette guide that never go out of style.

1. Train your memory

After you have attended a lecture or read something new, briefly summarize or write down the information. It is best to apply this method from early childhood, but it will help adults too. Do this regularly and your memory will gradually improve.

If you are constantly meeting new people, but do not remember names well, use the method of American politician Henry Clay. He was known for being able to remember the name and circumstances of the meeting, even if he saw the person only once. The fact is that every evening before going to bed, he wrote down the names of those whom he met during the day in a notebook, and in the morning he repeated them.

2. Learn to express your thoughts

In a conversation, it is important to clearly and correctly state your ideas. It will be easier if you get in the habit of writing them down. Train yourself to use the correct grammatical constructions in writing, and then in oral speech they will also be given without difficulty.

3. Avoid idle talk

Strive for simplicity and conciseness of speech. Do not overuse complex words and bombastic phrases: this is not at all a sign of intelligence. Remember that vulgarisms, exaggerations, banalities and the use of foreign words are inappropriate - this is bad form.

4. Listen carefully to the interlocutor

Do not speak incessantly, let the other person speak. Even if his speech is boring and boring, try to express interest and respond. This attitude can be considered hypocritical, but it is based on a simple rule: treat people with the same respect that you want in return. An open expression of displeasure or indifference will offend the interlocutor and show your bad manners.

5. Don't give fake compliments

Flattering the rich and successful is vulgar. This will not say anything good about you, but will only expose unworthy motives. However, a simple kind word is pleasant to everyone. Therefore, only compliment when it’s sincere.

6. Don't criticize or ridicule

Be witty and funny if you can, but never turn your wits against other people. Anyone who taunts others becomes ridiculous himself, especially if he is young and inexperienced.

A cultured person will not stoop to ridicule. He understands that there are too many flaws in himself to make fun of others. Especially over those who may have been deprived of his advantages in life. Remember this when you feel like criticizing someone.

7. Consider the interests of the interlocutor

People are always more interested in their own affairs and inclinations than any other topic. Take advantage of this when the conversation starts to fade. Most likely, the person will happily keep up the conversation if you mention their hobbies. And he will consider you a pleasant unselfish interlocutor.

8. Express your opinion when appropriate

Some people who strive for honesty want to express what they think anyway. However, they are especially proud of their courage in situations where they managed to embarrass or offend listeners. Others consider it almost a duty to the place and out of place to share their own opinions.

This behavior is cruel and disrespectful. Treat others' opinions with the same tolerance as you do yours. It is not necessary to agree with him - just do not try to convince the person by insulting his beliefs.

9. Don't talk about personal matters in public

This is simply inappropriate. In addition, your personal worries and joys are not so important to those around you. If a person is genuinely interested in you, he will ask himself, and outsiders do not need to know about them. This also applies to the personal affairs of your relatives and friends.

And all the more, do not indulge in questioning yourself: this is a sign of bad upbringing.

10. Do not be proud of your knowledge

Even if you really understand some issue better than those around you, do not boast about it and do not try to shame the interlocutors. They will respect you more if, in addition to knowledge, they see modesty in you.

11. Don't respond to rudeness with rudeness

If the other person publicly raises his voice or insults you, don't stoop to the same level. Act like you don't notice it. And he will surely stop attacking when he sees that they do not touch you.

12. Do not correct mistakes in the speech of the interlocutor

It doesn't matter where exactly he was wrong - in pronunciation or grammar. Pretend you didn't notice. And do not repeat his phrase correctly, it is just as rude.

13. Encourage children to be considerate

Develop their memory and observation. To do this, ask to describe in detail everything that the child saw at school or on a walk. This forms the habit of carefully looking at the world around you and being interested in everything. These skills will help you have a good conversation.