How to forgive a loved one and start trusting him again

1. Understand that it takes time to forgive

This can take months or even years. If a person, after a few days, hopes that you will forget everything, it means that he does not realize what pain he has caused you.

However, if the loved one really wants to fix the situation, then you should not constantly remind him of the mistake. Make it clear that you need time to reflect and sort out your feelings. And if you manage to forgive him, do not take the offense as a bargaining chip in the sleeve with which you can manipulate this person in the future.

2. Wait for a sincere apology

If a loved one made a mistake and realizes his guilt, then he will ask you for forgiveness. A sincere apology shouldn't sound like "I'm sorry, but it was only once." These are the words of someone who is trying to justify their behavior and present themselves in a favorable light.

Such an apology or even an attempt to accuse you of the current situation is unlikely to make you believe in the sincerity of the guilty feelings. Hearing from a loved one: "Come on, this is nonsense", you harbor resentment deep inside, and someday it will break out.

A sincere apology is about accepting responsibility, repenting for your pain, and wanting to improve.

3. Make sure the person is predictable and reliable

Trust in a relationship has three pillars: predictability, reliability, and confidence. To make sure a person is predictable and reliable, you need to observe their behavior after making a mistake and apologizing. If he is not secretive or selfish, but open and honest with you, then he can win your trust again. If he does not fulfill his promises even after his misconduct and throws words to the wind, it means that he does not fully realize his guilt.

Do not be silent and tell the person what you expect from him.

Determine together what needs to be fixed. The person himself is responsible for his behavior, but both should discuss the current situation.

The guilty person must himself sincerely wish to correct the deed. Proof of this will be his actions, which are aimed at improving your relationship and gaining your trust.

4. Focus on the present moment

After deceiving a loved one or an offense inflicted on him, it seems that trust can no longer be returned. Perhaps you do not dare to live here and now, but are in the past or are looking into the future.

Constantly reminding yourself of an unpleasant or worrying about the future of your relationship, you only make the situation worse.

If you find yourself thinking this way, try to return to the present moment. Take a closer look at how the person is behaving right now. Soberly assess your current situation and your relationship with it.

5. Take the plunge

Gaining confidence in a person is the most difficult and important part of the process of restoring trust. Confidence is the belief that a person will love and respect you.

To be sure of this, you need to take a bold step and become vulnerable. Then you will understand if your loved one is capable of letting you down again. Otherwise, you may not have a chance to check if you can fully trust him.

To make sure that you are completely safe with this person, you must give him a certain degree of freedom. If the person sincerely wants to correct their mistake, they will not hurt you again.