Personal experience: how to have a magnificent wedding and not go broke

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

If you want a big celebration, and the budget is limited, you do not need to cross off guests from the list with tears in your eyes. The author of Lifehacker tells how you can save on the example of your own wedding for 80 people.

Introduction

I got married on October 18, 2018. Actually, we wanted a quiet family wedding. But I married an Italian, and in this culture, not inviting someone from my family to a wedding is like declaring war. With my relatives, we had 80 guests. At first I was horrified by this number and the scale of the celebration. But then I started to like everything. In the process, it became clear what you can save on without losing quality, and who you can turn to for help. As a result, we organized a magical wedding. The tips that I will share also work for Russia: another bride, who got married in the summer of 2019 in Moscow, helped me to collect information for the article.

Choice of location and date

Briefly: the farther from the big cities, the lower the prices of the sites. See friends' summer cottages and gardens - catering can be arranged anywhere. If you are hosting a celebration on a weekday from October to April, you can get a discount.

Nowadays, weddings can be organized in a thousand places. Restaurants, camp sites, villas, gardens, hotels, banquet halls - just choosing a site can take months. We immediately decided that we would watch everything interesting online, but we would only go to the selected five places so as not to travel around the neighborhood. This simple limitation saved us a lot of time and nerves.

The first criterion is location and prices. This works about the same in all countries: the farther from the big city or capital, the cheaper. The difference between a metropolis and a town in the region may be such that it will be cheaper for you to pay for transportation for guests without a car. When we were choosing a site, I checked the locations on Instagram to evaluate real photos. I found brides' profiles, wrote to them and learned their impressions of organizing the wedding.

The ideal option is to find a free site. For example, if your friends have a large summer cottage or a beautiful garden, you can put tables there and organize catering. Rustic weddings among countryside landscapes are also popular.

Another factor is the season. Any venues are more expensive from May to August, and the highest prices are on weekends. We fell in love with the third restaurant in a small mountain village 60 kilometers from Milan. It was magical: a lake, mountains, a lawn for the ceremony. Prices are slightly higher than we expected, but thanks to the fact that we got married on Thursday in mid-October, we were able to reduce the cost of the banquet per person. In terms of 80 guests, the difference poured into a decent amount.

Decoration and decorations

Briefly: in order to save money on a designer, come up with a theme yourself and order elements for design on the Internet. Some close friends can conduct a symbolic ceremony. Order gifts for guests in advance from the manufacturer or do it yourself. If possible, do not buy anything in special bridal shops - the word “bridal” triples prices.

We came up with our own wedding theme, so we wanted to do all the decoration ourselves. In addition, this allowed not to spend money on a decorator. The main thing that we understood: the more beautiful the nature around, the less decorations are needed.

The theme was a painting by contemporary artist Mark Samsonovich Water the Flowers, which we both like from the beginning of our relationship. It reflects our understanding of love - helping each other grow.

To decorate the location, we printed graffiti on the basis of this painting on canvas and put it “at the altar”.(And after the wedding, they hung it on the wall in the bedroom.) In the passage to the arch, we installed vases with flowers, decorated as in the picture. We didn't want to let pigeons fly into the sky or mix sand of different colors in a vessel, as is often done at weddings. We came up with our own ritual - to water the flower beds. I am the one that was on the side of my husband, and he was mine. Watering cans were ordered on the Internet.

We officially signed in the morning of the same day, and there was a symbolic ceremony with vows in the restaurant. We wrote the script for it ourselves in two languages, and it was conducted by our good friend with breathtaking charisma, who speaks Russian and Italian.

We wanted to make everything as “ours” as possible. But it also saved us money on the master of ceremonies - the person who leads the symbolic ceremony, in fact, "marries" you. It's great when someone close does it.

There was no way to stop us, so we also gave our guests small watering pads. We ordered them from the manufacturer of all kinds of ceramic pieces and got a discount for the wholesale. They bought succulents from local gardeners for mere pennies and then transplanted them into watering cans. In the canvas bags in the photo there is a sugar dragee, which is also given to guests, this is an Italian tradition. In the wedding store, they asked for the inheritance of Al Capone, and on the Internet we found them for a pittance. True, they went for a couple of months from China, so you need to order in advance. You can make gifts entirely on your own: for example, make jam and pour it into cute jars - economically and with love.

Now there will be a story about my fail. In Europe and America there is a tradition that is gradually coming to Russia - to throw rice at newlyweds. In the bridal shop, I was convinced that ordinary rice leaves white marks on clothes, the groom's suit will be stained, it will remain on all photos, in general a nightmare. Therefore, you need a special wedding rice that does not leave marks. Out of my mind, I bought it for crazy money. Along with pretty paper cones in which the damn rice is handed out to the guests. Only later, when the panic let go, I realized that it was … ordinary washed rice. In general, wash the rice, roll paper cones and do not repeat my mistakes.

We also managed to save money on drawing up flower arrangements. I knew for sure that I wanted o'hara roses and eucalyptus in a wedding bouquet. And I already had an idea of the general design - hours spent on Pinterest were not in vain. So we didn't need floral design, we needed execution. This is much cheaper than a turnkey design project from a florist.

If you also know what exactly you want, you can go to the flower base, order flowers, draw a diagram and find a person who can bring your idea to life. Either a florist or just a neat person with impeccable taste should deal with the bride's bouquet, arch and boutonnieres. We managed to find a florist friend who agreed to take on the execution.

On the morning of the wedding day, someone should give the bouquet and boutonnieres to the bride and groom, and take the rest to the location and arrange. Even if this is someone you know, it is better to offer to pay for the work - this way people feel more responsible. And this applies not only to flowers.

Invitations

Briefly: you can make invitations yourself in any editor, and then print them on thick paper. It's prettier than pre-made postcards and cheaper than hiring a graphic designer. You can create an online page for free where guests will confirm their presence.

We also made invitations for guests without a designer. We drew up the layout in Apple Keynote, and then printed it out in the printing house. On the cover there is a quote that is attributed to Buddha and Seneca: “When you like a flower, you pick it. When you love a flower, you water it every day. Who understands this, understands life. The invitations came out nice, and we only paid for the printing.

Guests were asked to cut off half of a postcard with a picture, which indicated information about the time and place of the wedding. They filled in the other half and gave it to us. There they noted whether they would be alone or with children and dogs, and also wrote down their favorite song. We made a line: "I promise to dance if it starts playing …" So the guests helped us compose a playlist.

Many people make their own online page for invitations - then you will save on printing. you can do it yourself.

Contractors

Briefly: it is worth thinking carefully about which contractors you really need personally. And mercilessly abandon the fact that everyone is doing it, but it is not so important for you. You can shoot a love story in advance, and hire a photographer for a few hours on the wedding day.

You probably want to invite an operator with a drone, a famous photographer and artists, do make-up at the coolest make-up artist in the city, order a fireworks. I can advise you to think carefully about what is really important for you and what you want, because "everyone does it."

For example, we didn't have a videographer at our wedding. On the eve of the summer, we filmed a small love story for free with an operator who was collecting a portfolio. This was enough for us, besides, we realized that we are unlikely to re-watch a long film, and the main moments will still be filmed on the phone. It suited us. We didn't have a salute either. Although this is a spectacular end to the evening, we could not come to terms with the fact that this is literally money down the drain.

But our photographer was a first-class one. We discussed all the subtleties in advance, because most of all I did not want this day to turn into an endless photo session. Everything went according to plan, and the quality of the work is such that you can make billboards from our wedding photos. We don't watch them often, but it's nice to post cool pictures from the wedding on Instagram from time to time.

If you do not want a person with a camera to follow you all day, you can hire a photographer not for the whole wedding, but for the solemn part, or specially set aside a few hours for shooting. It will be cheaper.

A stylist from a cool beauty salon is not a guarantee of success. Look at the person's work, not the brand. Be sure to test your makeup and hair. I do not recommend saving a lot on this and painting on your own using the lessons on YouTube. Make and hair must withstand tears, hugs, kisses, dances all day long, and this can only be achieved by professionals - they know different subtleties. For example, I wanted naturally shaggy curls. My stylist said that for this I have to leave the house with perfect styling, then by noon it will be natural. If you make careless curls in the morning, they can straighten by the middle of the day.

Wedding coordinator

Briefly: Save on the wedding coordinator only if you have free time, friends or family to help. Often the coordinator helps to find cheaper, but proven contractors.

We did not contact the coordinator, because there was time and a desire to do everything on our own. And also friends and relatives helped us a lot. Together, it is unrealistic to take out the preparation for the big celebration - you will still change your mind about getting married. From the stories of other brides, I know that spending on a coordinator is often justified.

Coordinators usually charge 10% of the wedding budget. But in doing so, they can help cut costs. For example, our wedding organizer suggested a profitable venue for a large number of guests 40 km from Moscow. She also helped find a photographer and videographer from her base. We ourselves found a videographer for 70 thousand, and the organizer - for 45 thousand. This specialist also included aerial photography, which is unusual, since it is often paid additionally.

Also, the wedding organizer acts as a coordinator at the wedding itself, monitors the timing, communicates with contractors, gives them money at the end of the day and helps guests. When you put on a wedding dress and five people call you at that moment apologizing for being late, the fairy tale disappears. The most important thing is to find a person close to you in spirit and be able to insist on your own, if necessary.

Bride dress and groom suit

Briefly: in order not to spend crazy money on a dress, pay attention to the atelier farther from the capital - some sew remotely. Do not buy the dress too much in advance, so as not to risk if your size changes. A suit for the groom can be found in last year's collections.

The rule of seasonality also works here: the closer the summer, the higher the prices. But buying a bride's dress for a year is reasonable if two conditions are met. First, since elementary school, you have sketches and magazine clippings in your desk drawer with the dress of your dreams, it is and only that. Second, your weight and clothing size have not changed for many years. In all other cases, there is a risk that you will be upset by the beautiful models that will be released for the new season, or the dress simply will not fit your figure.

I could not find a dress in Milan that I liked and did not cost a million euros. Therefore, I decided to sew to order, but it turned out that the ateliers in Italy sew dresses for two million euros. So I found another way: to order a dress from a designer from Voronezh, whose work I really like.

To do this, you do not have to go to another city - there are studios that specialize in remote sewing. They send you instructions from many, many measurements, they are removed from you by family members. If any measurement turns out to be disproportionate, it will be asked to reshoot. If you are not sure, the designer will call you via video link during the measurements. When the dress is ready, it will be sent to you. Some little things can be tweaked in any atelier. If the designer does not live in Moscow, prices will be more favorable.

I ordered the dress two months in advance. This is enough for a model without complicated piping and a hundred skirts. If the dress requires a lot of manual work, it is better to order six months in advance. In the end, I only needed to lightly stitch the lace on the back.

My husband chose the suit himself, went to boutiques of elegant clothes with friends. They finished in one trip - they bought everything they needed in the second store. Suits are a fairly constant thing, so here you can safely look at last year's collections with discounts.

Wedding rings

Briefly: You can save a lot if you make custom rings by melting old gold jewelry. In some cases, it may be appropriate to invite close friends to participate in the organization of the wedding as a gift.

We were incredibly lucky with the rings. We have a jeweler friend who wanted to make rings for us as a wedding gift. Our other friends also joined in, so it was a gift from a group of loved ones.

With our master, we discussed in advance the size, metal, possible engravings. Of course, the rings were presented to us a few weeks before the wedding, and not at the celebration itself. I understand that not everyone has a jeweler friend. But maybe the idea itself is useful to you: close friends can participate in the preparation for the wedding, and this will be their gift.

There are other solutions if the prices in the stores are intimidating.

Sveta Maksakova

Now there are workshops where you can make rings with your own hands. It is very romantic, but quite expensive - prices are the same as in a good jewelry boutique. But everything changes if you bring your gold there and melt it down. To do this, you only need to know the sample of the metal. In the salon we saw two rings made of good gold for 40 thousand rubles. And we made it in the workshop for 21 thousand, adding old unnecessary gold jewelry. It takes 3-4 hours to make rings.

Car rental for guests

Briefly: help guests without a car to coordinate with those who will be in the car so as not to pay for the bus. Borrow a cute honeymoon car from friends.

We rented a car with a driver and a small bus from friends involved in transportation for Russian relatives. Friends were scattered around the cars of other guests. You can save money on a car for the newlyweds if your friends have a nice car that they don't mind lending you for a day. Then all that remains is to find a driver, which will be significantly cheaper. You can turn to friends of friends again, then the person you know will be driving. Do not forget to add the driver to the staff-list in the restaurant so that he will be fed too.

In order not to order a large bus, first find out which of your guests will go to the wedding venue by car. Help people coordinate. Perhaps there will be enough space for everyone, or there will only be a few people for whom a car-sharing car will be enough.

Food

Briefly: exclude foods you don't like and ask for a slightly lower price. Compare restaurant prices with catering prices. Wedding cupcakes or a buffet with delicious little things at the end can save you money on cake and dessert.

Restaurants usually have a fixed banquet price per person. But if you think that there is too much food, you can try to remove some items and lower the price. We refused several dishes: for example, horse meat bresaola immediately disappeared from the menu. Sorry for the horses! We also asked to remove individual snacks - there were a lot of them during the general aperitif. The price was no longer lowered, but we were offered to include ice cream with glazed chestnuts in the menu at no extra charge.

It happens that you find a good location, but there is no kitchen there. Then the way out is catering. Try to compare the cost of catering and renting a venue without a kitchen with the prices for a banquet in restaurants in your city. The cake can be ordered from a private baker if the restaurant or pastry shop is too expensive, or even make wedding cupcakes.

In order not to include dessert in the banquet menu, you can make a sweet buffet - put vases with dragees, nuts in chocolate and marmalade.

Music

Briefly: if you don't feel like setting aside a budget for a DJ, create a playlist yourself and find a person who will play the tracks. The necessary equipment can be rented.

We chose the compositions for the symbolic ceremony ourselves, and asked the guests for our favorite dance tracks through invitations. The DJ turned on the music, he also gathered people for competitions and dances, invited them to the table, turned on the video - he also performed the functions of the presenter. If your presenter is only engaged in the program, you can put someone of your acquaintances to turn on the tracks, so as not to spend money on a DJ as well.

In the evening my husband's favorite band arrived, and the wedding ended with a real concert of Irish music. It was my surprise for him for his wedding and birthday, which is also in October. So we didn't save anything on music. But these emotions were worth it. Everyone danced, had fun and sang songs with the musicians.