How to tell if a man is depressed

According to the World Health Society, depression is one of the most common mental disorders. Male depression is different from female depression: it is more severe and has unpredictable consequences. There are several signs by which you can recognize depression in a man in order to see a specialist in time.

1. Bad mood

Everyone has a bad mood. From the very morning everything can go awry, it happens. A healthy person will calmly experience unpleasant moments. If a man is depressed, minor troubles can unsettle him for a long time. Anger, fatigue, lack of appetite, or even physical pain build up. The irritation can last for a whole day.

Chronic stress and work at super speeds often leave no room for recovery. A man, in order not to fall in an avalanche on his family, chooses a distancing strategy. This is an attempt to protect the family from themselves and a way of communicating with the world and themselves. Gradually, the habit of living this way develops.

Depression is a barrier that protects the store of feelings, positive and negative. This is a signal that it's time to reconsider something in your life, learn how to find time for relaxation and joy every day, schedule work taking into account the rest, increase emotional competence and learn to express feelings in the family.

The anger caused by depression will not go away overnight, as the disease affects the complex areas of the brain that are responsible for mood stability and control over emotions and memory.

2. Anger for no reason

Depression breaks through the armor of masculinity and emotional dryness. Men consider depression something shameful, inherent only to the weak. Bitterness and longing in men transform into anger, often for no good reason. The desire to inflict pain, physical or emotional, throwing things, yelling at others for no reason - these are manifestations of depression.

Vasily Ilyin Psychologist, business coach.

Depression is accompanied by a loss of strength and loss of joy in life. A man endures decline extremely painfully, there is no strength for communication, so a person can alienate loved ones. Not finding opportunities to improve his condition on his own, the man moves along the ancient evolutionary reactive path. This is aggression and accusation of loved ones.

All people tend to blame others and show aggression when they feel bad for a long time. This reaction, although it hurts loved ones, is normal during depression. The body tries to regulate the condition through emotional and affective responses. It is worse if they are not there and the person simply withdraws into himself. This means that the depressive episode is prolonged and goes into a chronic phase, the so-called major depression.

Many depressed men feel that they are losing their masculinity, so they try their best to behave like a man, deliberately rude. But much more courage is required to admit the problem.

Anastasia Pristavkina Psychologist, gestalt therapist, professional coach, member of the Association of Practical Psychologists and Coaches.

In the early 1960s, American psychiatrist Aaron T. Beck developed a cognitive model of depression. He suggested that a person has a triad of negative thoughts: about himself, his world and the future. That is, a person encounters his own powerlessness, since he is not able to change these three aspects. Powerlessness is not easy to overcome; it is inseparable from humility.

Anger (aggression) is an energy aimed at change. Finding himself in a situation of powerlessness, a man begins to get angry in order to change something. He can't do anything. The person is highly charged, he is overwhelmed with feelings, so the manifestations of anger are disproportionate to the situation. It seems to others that this is anger for no reason. But there is a reason, and it is hidden from the most angry deep in the unconscious.

3. Foolish acts

Depressed men tend to act recklessly. These are again manifestations of the "male code". When a man does not find the strength and words to express emotions, he does stupid things. It's bad that they are often dangerous both for the man himself and for those around him. Speeding, fighting, gambling and of course alcohol.

Grigory Bakhin Practicing psychologist, performer of the online consumer services YouDo.com.

Recklessness is committed for several reasons. First, it is the desire to replace negative emotions with new bright and powerful events. Often these actions are due to a decrease in responsibility for what is happening - this is such a forgotten feeling from childhood, when it was possible to "cheat" and escape.

Secondly, depression is always associated with a loss of interest in life and its meaning. When a man does not see incentive and motivation, he is indifferent to reality.

Thirdly, self-realization is very important for a man. He is pushed on adventures by the lack of faith in himself, the feeling of his own uselessness. Experiences force a man to walk on the edge and look for a way out of the depressive circle in order to feel the thirst for life again.

Everybody does stupid things from time to time, but if the period of recklessness has dragged on, you should see a doctor.

4. Addiction to alcohol and drugs

Approximately 20-25% of depressed men have problems with alcohol or drugs. Alcohol seems to many as a way out of a difficult situation. A couple of shots, the injection of dopamine into the bloodstream - and now worries fade into the background and it seems that life is getting better.

In fact, alcohol is a bad antidepressant. The problems only get worse, the state of health worsens. Sleep and mood spoil, stress builds up, and the desire to drink appears again. And so on in a circle ad infinitum.

5. Fatigue

Depression can be recognized by sleep disturbance: you want to sleep, but insomnia torments until the morning. Such a state will bring a healthy person to white heat. The causes of sleep problems lie in the head. The brain does not rest at night, but continues to drive thoughts, most often negative ones. The stress is on the rise. Insomnia leads to fatigue, loss of appetite, irritability, and anger. This is a clear reason to see a doctor.

6. Intolerance towards others

A depressed man sees the world in black. People around are annoying and annoying, even those close and loved yesterday. I want to wrap myself in a cocoon and send the whole world to hell. In some cases, depressed men not only alienate loved ones, but also blame them for their failures and problems.

Yana Denisova Psychologist, head of the Center for Psychological Practice.

Men show anger more freely. They are not instilled from childhood with the idea that it is ugly to be angry, as is often the case with girls. That is why we encounter open manifestations of men's anger and anger more often.

Usually, after outbursts of anger directed at relatives, a person feels strong guilt. This is a clear sign that the anger is actually being redirected from the real object to a more convenient and accessible one. That is, on loved ones.

It is very important to understand who this real object is, this is already half the battle. Then it is important to realize why it is not safe to be angry with him, what prevents the manifestation of these feelings. The next step is to express your feelings. But where this is impossible and unsafe for any reason, it is useful to let your imagination run wild. You can write and tear into small pieces an angry letter, talk alone with yourself everything that worries, go to the gym and beat a punching bag. There are a lot of methods, you can combine different ones to choose the most effective one. After that, there will be much less tension and quarrels in the family.

7. Decreased libido

Sex improves mood, but is not suitable as a treatment for depression in men. Up to 75% of men experience libido problems due to depression. And this is one of the clear signals that something is wrong, especially at a young age. In this case, only contacting a specialist will help.