How not to get depressed because other people have done better than you

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

We all know that no one will ever be able to fully understand everything that another person had to go through. But, despite this, many constantly compare themselves with others, and due to the fact that this comparison is not in favor of the one who compares, they may become depressed and feel like failures. Read about how to avoid these dire consequences in our article.

One Quora reader told his story and asked for advice on how to avoid getting depressed. Considering that this is more or less close to each of us, we decided to share with you the best user responses.

I got a good education, but had little interest in what I was studying (studied to be an engineer). I graduated from my master's degree and eventually realized that I was not studying what I wanted to do in life.

Don't be afraid to waste time on what you like

The surest way to become unhappy is to constantly compare your life with the lives of other people.

You yourself say that you are interested in art, travel and meeting new interesting people. What are you waiting for? Get started! You are only 26. If you can afford it, make up your mind to spend a year traveling the world. Or go backpacking or volunteering. Or, alternatively, start learning a foreign language.

Don't be afraid to spend a year of your life exclusively on yourself. It is a myth that if you spend a year not in "work-work-work", then after that it will be difficult for you to find a job due to the annual gap in the item "Experience".

Think about what it means to be a happy person. A lot of money and professional achievements? Or a rich life experience and close people nearby? After answering this question, you will understand what is really important to you, and you can focus on it, and not plague yourself with doubts and envy.

Good luck to you!

We should be masters, not victims of our thoughts

I think it's all about habits. Bad habits are not only smoking or excessive alcohol consumption, our thoughts, which plague us, can also become a bad habit.

If we are used to thinking about something negative, if we are constantly looking for something bad in everything, we see a catch everywhere, then this way of thinking is a vicious circle that can ultimately lead to serious mental illness.

The good news is that we have the power to change our thoughts. The first step is, of course, awareness and recognition of the problem. Sometimes there are difficult cases when a person is already so stuck in thoughts of permanent negativity that one cannot do without the help of a qualified psychologist. But in most cases, people themselves are able to direct their thoughts in the right direction.

We shouldn't be victims of our thoughts. We must be their masters.

Remember, you can always find something light. Only in your power to change your thoughts and stop chewing on negativity.

Remember that everyone has their own life

After reading your story, it can be assumed that your depression is a result of your perception of yourself and the world around you. Change your perception. And try to follow your true interests.

Yes, of course, every person wants to get a promotion at work, buy their own house, a car, and God knows what else. But do not forget that we humans are not a collection from our property. We are alive and we are free to follow our desires, we have aspirations and feelings.

Sometimes we tie our own hands. We take a mortgage for 10 years and tie ourselves to a certain place. We do not go to study where we really want, but where our parents want. Our work brings us nothing but money.

We look at other people who are more successful than us. We begin to envy them, feel insignificant and because of this we fall into depression. But we forget that even super successful people, in addition to ups, have downs. They also lose and lose, fail. This is life.

In the end, everyone has their own path. And only you yourself can define for yourself what victory or success means. And if you are not interested in your own life, then you will constantly compare yourself with others and because of this you will be an unhappy person.

You wrote that you know what matters to you - travel, art, communication. Maybe you should find a job that has everything that brings you pleasure. Or maybe you should start your own business if you can't find a job that suits you?

Stop looking back at the others. You have your own path. And only he matters.

It's simple

It's simple: Log out of Facebook, change jobs, and stop comparing yourself to other people.

Guide to action

I had lingering depression, and here's what helped me get back to my normal life:

Feel like a part of the world, find something that will help you become a successful person. The road to success will never be easy, and you should prepare yourself for setbacks and trials. Sometimes you will feel irritated and angry. And that's not bad. This means that you are a living person.
Physical training. Helps to distract from unnecessary thoughts, especially cardio training.
Monitor your health. Sometimes mental problems are just a consequence of physical ones. Make sure your health is normal. For example, I had to limit my sugar intake and start taking vitamin D.
Stop communicating with people who constantly burden you with problems. Now you have your own problems, and you don't need strangers.
Don't sit at home. Meet and chat with new people.

Many people you read about on social media hate their jobs

You are only 26 years old, so it is too early to say that your career has failed.
Don't drive yourself into a corner and remember that you can change jobs at any time. You don't owe anyone anything.
Don't go to Facebook and LinkedIn for at least a month. You will be surprised to notice how less often you think about the lives of other people.
Remember, one of the best remedies is a change of scenery. Go on a trip or renovate your home.

And finally …